I plop down on my bed and stare at the ceiling. My mind races all over the place as different memories from the past flash in my head.

"Don't worry Hayley. You look good, trust me." Claire rubs my arm comfortingly, staring at me through the full body mirror. I sigh in distress. I hate social events. I hate having to dress up only to have people remark my looks in the most rude ways possible. Claire gives me a sympathetic smile before speaking. "Look at it this way," she pauses and tugs on her upper lip, putting on her 'thinking face' . "Carson is your date to this , it can't be that horrible."

"That's the thing, Carson's my . I let him in and he rejected me. I just can't... I just can't handle it, this, everything." I sigh and stare at my dress through the mirror. It's a baby pink high low dress with hints of grayish blue at the top that resemble snow flakes. Mother thought the best way to show off my beautiful assets in a descent way was to wear a high low dress. It shows off part of my legs at the front but hides the stretch marks that bare the back of my legs. According to my mother and Claire's mother, I look amazing but I could say otherwise. The dress does look good but still doesn't hide everything. My pudgy arms are still on display, my almost non existent chest is being overshadowed by my tummy. I doesn't bulge out like a pregnant lady, it just some baby fat that I desperately need to loose.

Claire pulls me away from the mirror and out of my bedroom.

Soft knocks on my door pull me out of that dreadful memory. Thankfully, I was distracted before getting to replay the rest of that horrible night. The last person I least expect to see comes through the door and comfortably places them self on my bed, right next to me.

"Hey." Carson give me a sheepish smile, reaching out for the stereo remote an turns it off as one of my favorite songs in the playlist starts to play. I simply hum in response, not wanting to talk to him.

"It's true huh? You really are his mate?" The sadness in his voice brings me out of my anger. I look him straight in the eye. My chest feels as if there's a gaping whole. One simple look, that's all it taken to make me feel this horrible for something I shouldn't. I shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to pursue a relationship with the one I'm destined to be with.

"I just can't right now Carson. I don't know what you want to hear from me." I finally speak with a calmer tone than expected. He shifts his sitting position and stares at anything but me. "Tell me it isn't true. Tell me this is one big joke and..." He sighs while tugging at his hair, "Tell me that I didn't miss the only opportunity I had with the one I've always wanted!" yelling the rest of his confessions.

My eyebrows slowly rise in shock from what he said. Confusion, hurt, anger, a few examples of what I'm feeling from his sudden outburst of honesty. "No. You don't get to do that with me, not again." I rise from the bed and begin pacing around the room. I can feel the tremble in my voice as I speak, not daring to take a glance at him. He sighs and begins to speak. "Hails please, I know what I did back then was unfair and completely uncalled for but-" "Unfair! Uncalled for! It was much more than that! You lead me on then basically dropped me like I was some experiment Carson!" Hot tears stream down my face as a chocked sob escapes. "I let you in. I trusted you and you humiliated me. I'm not going down that road with you again." My voice becomes almost inaudible as I sit on the dresser stool at the other end of the room.

I hear foot steps approaching me, knowing perfectly well it is Carson. "I-I'm... I'm sorry Hayley. I really am." He softly whispers while lifting my chin up. His usually calming gesture only makes the tears roll down even more. "Please leave me alone, please." I shake my head and stand up, moving away from him. I make my way towards the door and open it, signaling for him to leave.

He starts to make his way out the door but pauses to look at me as I do the same. The moment we make eye contact, his eyes fill with regret and sorrow as he takes in my appearance. I sigh and look away once more, making it clear that I'm not in the mood for any apologies or compromise at this point.

Shutting the door quietly, I slide down to the ground in defeat from the battle I have yet to face with my already messed up emotions.

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