Victoria

Why did I do that. Why. Why. Why. I havent been able to sleep since the party. The way I could feel her muscles and her reaction to me touching her neck.

My fingers unconsciously move to my lips. She was hard too. I felt it. Wait...

What am I thinking? I groan silently frustrated with myself. I want to strangle myself with this pillow.

I did win. Her face after I called her disgusting told me that I did. She didn't see it coming. A weight settles on my chest. I hate making people feel bad.

I do it all the time but with her it hurts more for some reason. Shes bullied you for a long time Vic remember that. But she only started after her sister-

God I don't wanna think about Sadie right now. She would hate this. Us fighting. But I did try Sadie. I did try helping her she just wouldn't let me.

You didn't try hard enough. Just let her run you over.

Alright finally something me and that small voice in my head can agree on. I get off the bed grabbing my phone. I need to call Layla. Maybe she knows where Kate lives.

"Hello?" I hear someone croak from the other side of the line. "Hey do you by any chance know where Kate lives?"

Theres silence on the line and I think she ended the call. Oh come on. "Vasquez? She lives in the Dorians hall. Dorm C4."

"Thank you. Go to sleep. Goodnight." I end the call quickly hoping shes too sleepy to forget about what happened in the morning.

I grab a sweatshirt pulling it over my head as I silently walk out of the building. RA's need to do a better job at making sure people stay in the building.

Actually are they even security? What exactly do they do? Ill have to ask around about that.

Its not a far walk just two blocks away.

————

I lied. I completely lied. Those were two of the longest blocks ever. Jesus. Now im just waiting. What for? Im not sure.

I regret coming here.

Just knock on the damn door already.

Alright. Alright.

I give it small knocks waiting as my heart races. What if she isnt even here and slept at someones house? What if she has someone over? I mean I wouldnt think so after what happened between us.

Wouldnt hope so you mean?

Oh shut up.

The door opens and a head pops up through yhe crack of the door. "Vic?" Kate rasps out. "Hi." I squeak out giving her a small wave.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just let me in before we get caught by someone."

I force the door open sliding by right besides her as my eyes wander around.

"What the hell." She scoffs.

Her apartment is so blank. No family pictures nothing but a huge shelf filled with trophies.

I sit on a couch as I look up at her in the dark space just a shadow leaned up against the wall. The moon illuminating her face.

"Can you turn on the lights? You have a guest you know?" Why am i being so petty? I have no idea.

"An uninvited guest." She answers back flicking the lights.

"C-can you sit down?" Now im nervous. I forgot why I really came here. Well I know but I just don't know how to put it into words.

She rolls her eyes sitting across from me on a sofa chair. "Only reason im being compliant is because im tired." I ignore her statement trying to figure out my own words.

"We should talk about us." I whisper looking down.

"Us? What us? Just because we almost kissed doesn't mean theres an us." She laughs.

"Ugh don't flatter yourself. Im talking about how we fell apart after... Sadie. I know she wouldn't want this for the both of us." A long pause fills the room and I look up to see a blank expression on Kates face.

"You don't know what she would have wanted. Neither of us do. So get the fuck out of my dorm and never speak of her again to me understand?"

I swallow the lump in my throat as my eyes begin to burn. "Katari-"

"She committed for a reason. She probably hated us who knows. Stop acting like she would have wanted us together when she didn't even want to be apart of it herself." She continues.

"S-stop." I choke out.

"Get fucking over it. I know I have. Move on." I grab a pillow throwing it at her but she catches it instead and I stalk towards her.

"You're not over it. Thats why you sleep with girls left and right so that you wont think about it. I on the other hand am at least trying to move on and talk." I grit out grabbing her collar.

"I want to hear you talk. I know Sadie wanted me to watch over you because she told me that herself. I didn't do my job until now. This is where it ends."

"She never said that." She whispers.

"Y-yeah she did. A week before- I should have known what she said was weird but I thought nothing of it. Ive fucking hated myself ever since but im trying not to." Realization of some sort hits her and all I see is hatred in her eyes.

"You should hate yourself. Get out." She says pushing me off of her. I look up to her but shes determined. "Get the fuck out!" She yells.

I flinch backwards trying my best to stop the tears from falling.

Jesus why did I come here?