A bright light shined brightly just past the curtain of my eyelids turning my peaceful blackness into an unwelcoming grey with light patches inviting me to open.

I had no intentions of doing any such thing as I was very comfortable and feeling like I was floating on a cloud. It was only Nancy's voice that actually made me consider it.

She sounded distant, her voice hard to hear as if taking in another room. I tried to focus on what she was saying but couldn't make anything out. And yet, I didn't need to. The more I'm around Nancy, the less I needed her to say anything to know just what she was thinking or feeling at a particular moment. And while her emotions can be difficult to read at times (who's aren't?) other times they're wasn't any doubt. Normally, I was very intimidated by her anger. Yet, for some reason I found it hilarious. A laugh must of escape because she immediately stopped talking and then I heard a door being opened.

"Look who finally decided to wake up."

I heard her say in a soft voice as she took my hand. Like a light being plugged into a socket the warm current ran throughout my body would I ever get use to that? I hoped not. The bright light blinded me when my eyes opened only for a moment.

"Would someone shut that fuckin thing off!" Nancy barked at whoever was also here or maybe she didn't and I only imagined her doing so but it caused me to laugh again.

"You're funny." I laughed at her "Ruff ruff!"

"... Aaaand enjoying the drugs she's been given."

She said glaring at me while crossing her arm as if she was pissed. She wasn't. I could tell she was actually relieved and greatly enjoying it. I might be a little high, but I wasn't comatose. I could tell i was in the hospital. Thanks a lot-

I froze remembering the last time I was here. When I had been deathly sick from a virus and couldn't even sit up for over ten days when I finally came in. They refused to treat me do to my hormone therapy stating they weren't trained in that. Fuckin bastards! I had to go to Spokane and get my doctor off vacation and open his clinic for me at two in the morning. I thought I was going to die! He had prescribed some antibiotics that cleared it up in a few days but I hadn't been back here since which meant my records were still under my old name. Being as I never intended to return here I never had them update them when I had my name and gender changed.

Nancy detected my sudden mood change and shifted in her seat in preparation for whatever was about to come. I wasn't sure if she knew just what it was but it seemed she was still close.

"How did I get here?" I asked her. "They don't know me here as Crystal."

"I know..." she paused shifting again in her seat. " I gave them your social security number and they pulled - what are you doing?" Her eyes went wide with concern.

Whatever effect the drugs had on me disappeared in an instant at the confirmation that the few people that actually knew my old name has just increased by at least one and possibly more. I could literally count the people on one hand with fingers left over now... who the fuck knew how many knows.

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? I'M LEAVING!"

I snapped at her as I ripped the I.V. Out of my arm and grabbed my clothes that was folded on a table against the wall by the door. Nancy looked like she was stuck in someone's headlights before grabbing my hands to stop me and only resulting in pissing me off even more. She had no damn right!

"Get the hell away from me!"

I managed to push her back and she stood glaring daggers at me like something from a cartoon. Smoke coming from her nostrils and ears would totally complete the look. She wasn't getting her way and it was driving her nuts and the one thing she could always resort to was off limits. She didn't dare touch me. Not because she was afraid of the security or staff, not her, but despite everything I could tell she was worried I'd get hurt and this pissed me off further. She was always at odds with herself but not this time. Both the emotions and the look both said the same thing and I just didn't have it in me to take advantage of it.

"You're being fuckin ridiculous, Crystal! Get your ass back in the bed before you hurt yourself even more. You got a broken rib and two cracked ones and they won't even wrap them because of Pneumonia might set in so the last thing you should be doing is throwing a damn tantrum over something that no longer matters."

She sat back down looking drained making me somewhat regret my outburst but not entirely. It wasn't really her fault yet I just couldn't help it. I hated that name and her knowing it was like a power she held over me. Something she could use against me at anytime. JoAnn was bad enough, I couldn't handle Nancy too. A part of me wanted to think she wouldn't abuse the knowledge but that didn't help. With the way we've been it was a disaster waiting to happen.

" Don't you dare tell me it doesn't matter as it sure matters to me. You know what, I don't know why you're even here. You practically tore Linnea's head off last night to get me into the damn car then you didn't even speak to me the whole time back! I tried calling you you but you just ignored me -"

"I wasn't ignoring you!" She snapped back. "I went out for a run to think about things and for obvious reasons I didn't have my phone with me. I was going to get back to you when I returned but that's when Jake showed up telling me about what happened. What, you think you're the only one who is trying to adjust to all this?

I sat down on the bed feeling my side again now that the adrenaline had started dying down. The drugs fortunately was keeping it in check so it wasn't hurting too bad.

"Who were you talking to out there?"

"Jason-"

I threw up my hands letting her know that I didn't want to hear anymore. I don't know what's his problem has been with me but the last thing he needed to know was my birth name.

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

Great, now she's playing stupid which means he probably knows everything. Why not just put it on a damn billboard!

I threw off the ugly ass green hospital gown and started changing as fast as I could. My need to get out of here defeating my shyness of Nancy seeing me undress. My nerves skyrocketed even more as i discovered my underwear gone. Why the fuck did they take that?! It's not like Jake did anything down there.

Looking around for them only for a second without seeing them before just grabbing my jeans and putting them on. Could this possibly get any worse? Thankfully Nancy had shut up about me getting back in bed as I'm sure she was a little thrown off too.

Keeping my back turned to her I only did a simple tuck as I had nothing to hold it in place. Good thing the estrogen has caused my penis to shriveled up like a pea so it's barely noticeable anymore. Still it's not completely gone. Why can't womens jeans be thicker? My longer shirt should cover me for now.

"I'm checking her out. Watch her!"

Nancy ordered Jason who was waiting outside. He was wearing a red dress shirt with black slacks that normally would of made me ask what he was dressed up for but I wasn't in the mood to deal with him so I brushed by him without a word as I went the opposite direction fairly sure the elevators were located.

"What the fuck is going on Crystal? Nancy calls me panicking so hard I only got something about finding Jake and you being here. Did he do this?"

"Do you got ten bucks?"

"Uh yeah. Why?" He asked confused reaching into his pocket and pulling out some money.

"I need a cigarette and I don't have my purse. Nancy will give it to you. She can take it out of my check I haven't gotten yet."

I said irritated. Really it wasn't fair to her as I knew she was trying but I needed to vent. Hospitals were more scary than public restrooms for transgender folks especially in conservative states like Idaho. And one where I was already on record...

He gave me the money and i bought a pack across the street at the gas station. I really loved this court as it had e everything you could need and it was never overly crowded. Even now there was a moderate number of people at Starbucks and Albertsons Grocery but the other shops only had a few people in them including the gas station that sat alone on the corner.

I had to stand to smoke as sitting down on the curb hurt my ribs too much. I didn't mind as I didn't feel like sitting anyways and there was a nice spot next to some flowers planted near the side. It was a little hidden but I had no doubt Nancy would find me easily enough.

"I know I'm not your favorite person but I do actually care about what happens to you. Granted I didn't expect it to be Jake who goes all feral but fuck Crystal, it does happen! It's not the place for humans so don't take me being hard on you for being there personally. It's just any of them animals could kill you easily and I don't want that." He gave me his million dollar smile that I'm sure made countless women lose their minds and clothes. Mine too probably not long ago. Since Nancy, I've gained an immunity to others charm it seems, even his. I figured that's pretty impressive.

"...No way do I want to deal with explaining to The Council and your Police about how you died. It really turns off the girls."

"Oh you poor thing..." I teased making a sad face.

The cigarette helped. I was calming down a bit as it seemed like Jason really didn't know and was making an effort to at least address he's been an asshole to me. I suppose it was only a matter of time before Nancy had found out it's just with something like this I should have the choice of how she finds out. Being like this and after learning about me being transgender just last night like that...

"You have no idea." He laughed before getting serious again. I could tell he really wanted details and I guess he did deserve some.

"But seriously, if Nancy is wanting to find Jake so badly it can't be anything good for his health. Things between you two must be really heating up, right?"

I couldn't breathe. What the hell did he just say? Did I hear that right? I knew I did. What was bothering me more was how he said it especially the part about me and Nancy heating up. We hadn't physically of course yet but he had to know she's my mate. When Linnea found out I had assumed he found out with her. We hadn't tried hiding it and Linnea wasn't silent either.

"We're mates, Jason." While it seemed like easily the least important thing to address first, for some reason I felt the need to establish our bond. His deep green eyes seemed to bore right through me.

"Yeah but you thought that with Jake, right? You know a rejection is something we're not known for taking well especially from our mates. Someone in Jake's position I could only imagine, I mean with his own wife!"

Something snapped inside me as what felt like a volcano erupting inside as rage engulfed me and my right hand struck him across the face so hard several passerby's stopped from the sound of the impact!

"Don't you ever say that to me again!" I screamed at him.

"What the hell is going on?"

Nancy asked running up to us giving Jason the stare of death. He backed up looking like he was about to mess his pants which made me feel smug. He knew he fucked up.

"Nothing, my darling. I was just letting Jason know that I don't care for him suggesting Jake's my mate instead of you."