Nancy and Linnea both looked at me as if they expected me to say it was just some kind of bad joke. I didn't have the strength or the desire to go through the usual disbelief followed by the same old stupid questions so I just decided to get it out of the way.

"No, it's not I joke. I met Jake at the LGBT center in Spokane. He recognized me from in town and asked about me. I said they could give him my contact information. And before you ask, I haven't had surgery. It's scheduled for February in Pennsylvania. It's also why I had Joann say I worked for her, because most of my work history is in my old name. That's the only thing I've lied about other than Jake visiting me about staying together. I didn't want to cause more trouble, I'm sorry! Are you happy now?"

I pulled again and this time was able to break free from Nancy's grasp who was still trying to process the information. Her face was expressionless so I couldn't read her.

"Jake's queer? Linnea asked looking at Nancy as if expecting her to confirm it. All she was met with was silence. "Det förklarar saker! (That explains things) Linnea mumbled to herself almost making me believe that my fears were unjustified.

"I don't even know what to say... you were born male?

Nancy words were low almost as if she was talking to herself. I crossed my arms when a shiver traveled up my spine. Suddenly, I felt cold.

"Look on the bright side: when you divorce Jake, it will be better for ya both. I guess it's really not his fault for being such an ass, being closeted tends to do that with you Americans."

" He's been fucking lying to me the whole time!" Nancy practically yelled leaving me no doubts about others picking up on this conversation. Nancy and Linnea was two more than I had planned on coming out to tonight.

This is how it always goes. Perhaps coming out when shit had already hit the fan is the better route. That way you're ready for it. No surprises that always happens right when you think everything is going so well. The whole waiting for "the perfect time" is a load of shit! There never is. The only thing that happens is you have a hell of a lot further to fall when you get knocked off your cloud. Well fuck this! Joann was one thing, I wasn't going to take it from Nancy too.

"Ya know, that's really funny coming from you, Nancy. When the hell was I supposed to tell you? When you tried killing me at my house? Sorry, you left before I got the chance. I know! At the bar when I couldn't even breathe. Or what about when you've been going on about us being mates? I wasn't even given a choice about all this so don't blame me! At least Jake gave me that."

Same old shit! I took several deep breaths trying to calm down. This was pointless.I started walking back down the road as fast as I could in these stupid heels without falling over. I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of taking them off in front of her.

"Where are you going?" I heard Nancy call from behind me.

"I'll find another way back." Where the fuck do you think I'm going? Certainly not with you. Was what I wanted to tell her. Of course, I was to much of a coward to tell her that. No matter how hurt I was I did want to continue to enjoy solid foods. Coming out to guys before was scary enough with them being just human. Nancy could seriously hurt me without meaning to and her emotions right now couldn't be trusted.

Without making a sound she was behind me, grabbing my arm and forcing me to turn and face her making me fear that I had pushed her too far.

"You're being absolutely ridiculous if you think I'm going to just let you walk away. This isn't the place for you to try and be...whatever the fuck this is. Now get your ass in the truck! You've drawn more than enough attention already."

Sure enough several eyes were watching us with great interest and I suspected more I couldn't see. At least I didn't see Jake and what's-her-name standing around gloating. That would be just too much.

"Whatever the fuck this is?" I repeated her words back to her now feeling more hurt than angry. The tension in her jaw weakened for just a split second as if she may actually regret her choice of words but then it was gone.

"I'm not going anywhere with you. Now let me go!" I tried pulling away but found myself unable to break her grip.

"Nancy, can't you see you're hurting her? This isn't helping anything."

Nancy turned and pointed at Linnea in warning. "You mind your own fucking business! I don't butt into yours and Greg's, so stay out of mine!"

Linnea lowered her head. The memory of Nancy getting so angry with me when that guy hit on me at the bar hit me. She had said it was a sign of submission which I didn't understand but I did now. This was fucking ridiculous and Linnea didn't deserve this.

I pulled again still unable to break her grip. "You really-

"Need to calm down and let her go, Nancy."

Linnea eyes were locked with Nancy's and I didn't need anyone to tell me what that meant. Nancy released her grip and I instantly wanted it back. While both looked similar in size now, in wolf form, Nancy was easily the larger, more muscular of the two. I just knew Linnea couldn't win. She did too it seemed. I couldn't let this happen and had to do something fast.

"Oh for fuck sakes, Nancy, alright! I left my cigarettes inside anyways." I brushed her shoulder as I positioned myself between them. Sensing Nancy's glare on my back was actually a relief knowing it was no longer on Linnea.

I flicked the ash of my third cigarette out the cracked window sensing Nancy's irritation. I knew she didn't like me smoking and I knew she especially didn't like me smoking in her truck but at the moment I really couldn't care less about what she liked.

"If you're taking estrogen then you really need to quit before you give yourself a blood clot. Just taking that stuff puts you at high risk, and the smoking will only further increase your chances." Nancy said in a soft voice without taking her eyes off the road.

I really couldn't believe her. For the past half hour or so since we left she's been completely silent now she acts all worried about my health. Just for spite I took another drag.

"What do you care? Besides, what I do is none of your business." I leaned my head back as I exhaled no longer bothering to aim it out the window. I did feel guilty right after but not for Nancy. Poor Linnea has been trying her hardest to make us forget she's even in the back. I couldn't blame her. Nancy better not fire her.

Nancy snatched the cigarette from my mouth "What you are doesn't change the fact that you're my mate anymore than if you were a serial killer. This whole thing keeps getting more and more fucked up by the minute. Believe me, I wish I knew a way to break this-"

Nancy's phone started playing a song I didn't recognize as a picture of Jake appeared on the screen. She crushed the cigarette out in her hand showing no sign of it burning her."

"You unfortunately, husband, you aren't so lucky" She spoke through a clenched jaw as she declined the call before tossing the cigarette out the window.

I felt cold and hollow. Like the rejection drilled an icicle through me and left parts where my heart once resided. It wasn't new, but this hurt far more than the previous ones.

"Why don't you answer him? Who knows, maybe he'll take you back. He needs to keep up appearances after all." It was supposed to sound bitter but lacked any confidence sounding as weak as I felt. I grabbed another cigarette and lit it facing out the passenger window in attempt to prevent the tears from falling. I can't cry in front of her.

I heard her tsk but she didn't try grabbing it this time. Taking a couple quick drags my phone started playing I Can Love You Better by Mary J Blige, my ringtone for Jake that I couldn't believe I had forgotten to delete.

I can love you

A little better than she can oh,

(I know that you) I know that you

Wish that you could be my man

'Cause I can love you better than she can

I can love you, (I can love you)

I can love you, (I can love you)

I can love you better than she can

I dug frantically in my purse trying to find which compartment I had tossed it in. Why is this happening? I finally found it fumbling it in my hands as rejected the call and blocked his number.

Nancy chuckled to herself. "You were saying..."

I cried almost the entire way back once I was alone in my own car. What was supposed to be a great night had turned into a disaster and as much as I wanted to blame Jake, it really was nobody's fault but my own. I knew better. It always turned out this way. Yes, Jake was different but he knew when he met me and liked me for it. He never accepted me for who I really was but what he wanted me to be- A chick with a dick.

Joann was up and waiting for me when I walked through the door along with my one true friend, Dobby. I bent down and gave him a hug not giving a shit about Joann and her dress. I had far worse than anything she was capable of anyways tonight. To my dismay she was actually sympathetic.

"Oh my god, what the hell happened? She asked concerned rushing over to me from the couch.

"You got more of that wine?" I asked nodding to the bottle on the table.

We sat on the couch together and I told her everything that happened with Jake and Nancy. Joann listened intently never interrupting me while making sure my wine glass stayed full. I really was lucky to have her for a sister I thought to myself.

"Oh Crystal, I'm sorry... I'm going to kill the both of them! So much for first impressions" She said refilling our glasses with the last of the bottle.

"Joann, don't. Just leave them be. Really, I'll be fine." I didn't feel fine. The thought of not being with Nancy terrified me more than I cared to admit, even to myself.

"But then again, I think someone else just might for me. I take it you didn't hear what happened?" She said sitting up straight and wide eyed. I shook my head.

"His house got hit tonight! I mean, hit as in something from a horror movie. Several people inside and even some who lived nearby were attacked and severely wounded. It's been all over the news. Mrs. Rogers said it could be as many as eight who was flown to Lakeside in critical condition. What the fuck was he into Crystal?"

I was stunned. I sat replying what Joann just said several times as I got up to look for my phone. The wine was definitely hitting me as but I made it to my purse that I had dropped on the floor near the door.

"What are you doing?" Joann asked confused.

"I need to tell Nancy!" I said simply. Ashley just declared war on Nancy's pack.