Valerie P.O.V

A loud, repetitive banging sound woke me from my state of semi-consciousness. Welp. I tried to fall asleep. Better luck tomorrow night, I guess.

"Valerieeeee," the muffled sound of my name echoed through the front of our apartment.

What the... ?

I pushed the sheets off my legs and swung them over the edge to get up. I quickly made my way to the door, looking through the peephole cautiously.

Oh my flipping g-

"Valll!!" The loud knocking continued.

I jumped in panic. He was going to wake up everyone in the area at this rate. I quickly unlocked the door to let him in.

"Carter. What are you doing?! It's 2am," I said exasperatedly, all the whilst my heart beat faster in my chest at the sight of him in person.

"I wanted to see you," he pouted adorably.

The smell of alcohol reeked from him.

Oh.

He's drunk.

I debated what to do, I couldn't just leave him out there. Flipping universe, you are too funny.

"You look so pretty Valerie, did you just wake up?" he said, two decibels higher than it should be in the middle of the night. I melted at the compliment before remembering our current situation. Well of course I bloody just woke up!

"Shh! You'll wake up Ellana, she's asleep." I scolded him in a hushed whisper.

"Uh nah she ain't, she's awake now and going to leave to tend to her drunk ass boyfriend." Ellana said, popping out of her room with an overnight bag in hand. "You gonna be okay? Want me to take him back to Kean and Alec's?" She nodded in the direction of the tall, gorgeous idiot slouched against the wall.

"No it's alright, Ell." I sighed, hugging her goodbye. We have a lot to deal with anyway. "Drive safely okay?"

"Will do, text me if you need me," she hugged me once again.

I turned towards my intruder for the night, shaking my head. He gave me a cheeky grin in return.

Absolute trouble.

"Come on," I sighed, grabbing onto his arm to lead him to my bedroom so he could lie down. The familiar warmth spread through me at the contact. All those feelings I had been repressing, bubbled up to the surface almost immediately.

I missed him.

I was planning on talking to him at one point or another after I had that revelation during the sleepover with the girls. They had some very insightful and valid points that I really had to take on board. I had to work through my thoughts, and on myself first, to build up that strength and confidence. I've made so much progress over the year, and I couldn't just let it unravel now. I had to keep growing and glowing. I needed to remind myself that this situation is very different to the previous situation I was in.

Carter was different.

I peeled off his shoes before urging him to get settled on the bed. I dug out a T-shirt of his he leant me some time ago, from the very back of my drawers.

"Hey, want to change?" I asked as I came over towards him. This was some serious de ja vu- I recalled the time he had done the same thing for me.

"Uh ah," he shook his head before leaning up to peel off his shirt and discarded it. I closed my eyes shut for a second in surprise, it's been a while. He still looked as good as ever. "I don't sleep with a shirt anyways. Keep it." He said, giving me a sleepy, crooked smile. Right. How could I forget?

I nodded, leaving the shirt aside before going to get something to hydrate him. He would need a whole gallon to prevent a hangover in the morning.

"Hey! Where you going?" Carter called out.

"Shh, just grabbing a glass of water okay?" I whispered, with a finger over my lips.

"Okay, come back soon princess," he whispered in reply. My heart swelled at the nickname. It's been a while since I've heard him say that too.

I came back with a large glass of water, and almost dropped it as I saw the sight of him, stripped down in just his boxer briefs. Good god, boys like him should not be prancing around half naked in the middle of the night. There was no use in saying anything that he would comprehend at this point. I simply turned on the air conditioning and handed the cold glass over to him, doing my best to be accomodating. Although we had this big rift between us, I still cared for his wellbeing.

"Thankyou," Carter brought it up to his lips and tilted some in, before he eventually skulled it all in one go.

Oookayyy then.

"Do you... want some more?" I asked.

He quickly shook his head, before lying back down on the pillows. As I reached out to take the glass from him, he abruptly snatched onto my hand and tugged me towards the bed, causing me to fall towards him. I was flustered for a moment before I straightened myself out quickly.

"I'm sorry," he said gently as his face pinched into a sorrowful expression, holding on tightly to my hand. That single word was loaded with so much meaning. My heart ached at the sight.

"Get some rest Carter, we can talk tomorrow okay?" I whispered, slightly choked up.

"Please don't go, stay with me Valerie," he murmured, his eyes softly met with mine. I completely melted into the pools of honey like I always did. There was just no saying no to that.

I moved the glass and set it on top of the dresser before I tucked myself in next to him.

How could I resist? It's been far too long.

~

That was my first night of decent sleep in days. I had a comfortable warmth beside me, the airconditioning was nice and cool, making the bed even cosier. A musky male scent surrounded me as I stirred from my slumber.

He's here.

It felt so right, and I wanted to continue in this happy dream, but alas, we had a lot to sort through first if this was going to work. And for once, I was going to try and be really brave.

I turned around to see if Carter was awake. He was still very much, sound asleep. I stealthily rolled out from under his arms before heading over to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I'll let him get some rest before we deal with us today. I made myself some yoghurt, granola and a fruit salad for breakfast this morning whilst I waited.

I had felt better in the last few days, taking a time out to re-evaluate everything. I felt calmer and much, much more stable. I felt positive even, which was really nice. It was a good sign Carter had come here too, even if he was drunk. I smiled at the fact that he had been thinking of me even in the moments where he was totally out of it. I wasn't sure if he had been thinking of me at all, because I was definitely thinking of him, even when I was trying not to. I guess now was a good time as any to talk.

After a while, I ducked my head into the room to check up on Carter- who was sitting up with one hand pressed to his forehead. I opened the door wider so I could come in. He looked up immediately at the sound.

"Val..." Carter breathed. "I'm so sorry I barged in here last night, I was really- "

"Drunk." I finished with a soft chuckle. "It's okay." I said as I made my way over to sit on the edge of the bed. He gave me a sheepish smile. "How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I'm okay, a minor headache but I'll live."

"I'll get you some water and ibruprofen." I said, standing up. "Do you want to have a shower?"

"Would that be okay?" he asked me shyly.

I nodded as I picked up the spare t shirt from last night. "I think you'll want this now," I said in a slightly teasing tone, handing it over to him.

"Thankyou," he chuckled, sliding out of the bed.

I prepped him a bowl of yoghurt, granola, fruit and a glass of water and some painkillers.

Carter came out looking a little brighter and more alive than before. "Wow thankyou," he said as he made his way over to sit at the dining table where I had left his breakfast. "You didn't have to do this, Valerie. I don't deserve it."

I shook my head at him adamantly. "No don't say that. It's okay, I promise. Eat up." I smiled softly.

His hand reached out slowly to rub his thumb over my cheek tenderly, as his lips tugged up at the corners. I closed my eyes to savour the sweet gesture for a moment.

I think we can get through this.

After he had gotten his fill, we settled ourselves on the couch to address the elephant in the room.

"Val... I, I don't know what to say for once. God I'm just, I- "

"Wait, can I say something first?" I interrupted, placing my hand over the top of his. He nodded, slightly surprised before focussing his attention on me fully.

"I'm sorry Carter. I really am." I said, emotion hanging off every word. "I can't believe how I acted. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to be that way at all, it's like all the emotions just took over and I spun out of control. I should have talked to you about it, like you said. I just didn't want to bother you. I felt like those comments were minuscule and I could get over it on my own. But then, it just all built up without me realising it, until I had enough and exploded."

"I want you to know you can always come to me Valerie. You can tell me anything," he said gently, turning his hand palm up to hold mine. "And, I'm partially at fault too. I should have made you feel more safe... since I know you've struggled before."

"Thankyou Carter," I nodded appreciatively before continuing. "When Lacey said the things she said, I felt myself falling back into that dark hole again. I felt like I couldn't trust, and I felt so insecure. With my... with my ex I was really obsessive, I always tried to read his personal messages and things like that... I hope you aren't freaked out by that," I nervously chuckled.

"No." He shook his head, holding my hand tighter. "I get it. You weren't yourself. You've never done anything like that to me."

"We were very emotionally abusive to each other. I had hurt myself physically once or twice whenever we'd fight." I admitted. It was time to bare everything. "I did it because I wanted him to feel bad, because he never seemed to care, and I was in so much emotional distress it seemed like it would help at the time. I needed a distraction from the overwhelming anxiety too. I had a few panic attacks, and I didn't want them to happen again." A tear slipped down my cheek as I remembered the emotional turmoil in explicit detail.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, wiping the tear from my cheek, before pulling me closer. I allowed myself to melt into his touch for a moment.

"When he cheated on me it was the last straw. There was too much bad for any of our 'good' to mean anything anymore. I had a meltdown. I grabbed a bat and took a swing at his car window. I broke a few things in his apartment too." I winced, remembering my cruel, volatile actions.

He sat silently, listening to me attentively. "You know what... a lot of people would've had that same reaction. It's in the movies for a reason," he softly chuckled, trying to cheer me up from my heavy, somber mood.

I cracked a small smile, breathing in a deep breath to continue. "The therapist I saw, really got me through the darkness. I stopped with all the negative behaviours. I began healing. When I met you I became wary of being that girl once again. I was scared I couldn't handle being in a relationship, deep down I knew I was still a little broken and I would slowly slip back into those bad habits again without even knowing it. I couldn't do that to you, or to us. So I overreacted and pushed you away and am always so evasive. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't trust you, because I do, Carter. I'm really sorry." I whispered as a few more tears escaped the corners of my eyes. "I guess it just took me a while to figure that out."

He nodded in acceptance, and rubbed my back comfortingly.

"You hold me so high up on a pedestal, Carter. I felt unworthy because I was afraid this monster I once was, would slowly take over when I couldn't handle the pressure." I breathed. "I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you, I didn't mean to treat you like that. You mean so much to me and you didn't deserve that."

He pulled me over into a tight hug, running his hands through my hair. "Thankyou for talking to me about it. I forgive you." The burden weighing me down, finally lifted off my chest. No longer will I ever be held back by my past. "Valerie, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. If I could save you from it all, I would. I want you to know that I will never, ever do anything to you that will drive you to that point. And if anything ever makes you feel that way, please, please tell me. I'm here for you. Always."

"That means a lot to me to hear." I smiled and nodded as I my eyes became watery once more. He's one of the best things that ever happened to me. "I know that you're always here for me, and I will try to communicate better. You're too good for words." I whispered.

"Don't cry pretty girl," he murmured, wiping the tears away. "You're honestly the most amazing person I've ever met. I don't judge you for anything you've done in the past. I can't put myself in your shoes and feel what you felt in that situation and how it might affect you, but I understand that it was tough, and I'm proud that you've come through. All I see now, is a beautiful human being, who's kind, compassionate, smart, talented, generous, funny and so loving."

And just like that, all the pieces of my broken heart began moulding back together as the words fell from his lips.

"Thankyou," I smiled softly.

"I'm so sorry too, Val. I'm sorry that I took my frustrations out on you, instead of comforting you, and listening to you so we could talk it out. I felt so fucking terrible about it. It wasn't the best reaction, but I definitely promise to do better, baby. And, I'm so sorry I didn't try harder to get through to you, even though I knew that you were battling these emotions. I will never let you go again. It was hell without you." Carter said as he tenderly held the side of my face. "Please forgive me?" he murmured.

I nodded as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into me. "Without a doubt." I whispered into his ear. Being back in his arms was like coming home. "There's nothing to forgive. You're allowed to stumble whilst processing difficult emotions too. And I promise to do better too."

"I love you, beautiful. I never stopped."

"I love you. So much."

I learnt an important lesson recently. Relationships are built off mutual love and respect for one another, and the ability to trust, communicate and compromise. I had been lacking all those factors in my previous ones.

But I think, I think that I've finally found something completely magical. My tiny personal circle including myself, Ell and my brother had now grown to include a small group of friends and the love of my life.

Carter Lee Bryson.