George and I chilled the whole day. He left just before dinner and I slowly went downstairs, sitting on the couch with my earphones in. I didn't want to hear my dads and stared uninterested at my phone to avoid them speaking to me.

'Dinner is ready,' I heard someone say vaguely. I ignored the voice and listened to my music again as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I rolled my eyes, purposely ignoring it.

'Clay, listen to me.'

'No!' I yelled back as I opened a YouTube video. I rotated my phone to make the screen bigger.

'Clay, I made dinner,' my dad said.

'Ok.'

'It's your favourite meal!'

'I don't want it.'

'I made extra for you, I also have ice cream as dessert. It's vanilla, your favourite too!'

'Can you shut up? I'm watching this video. Just give me a plate or something.'

'I would like you to sit with us.'

'FOR WHAT?' I screamed as I took out my earphones. 'Just to see you touch each other and maybe even kiss each other, I'm going to throw up by the thought only.'

'We won't touch each other, you can sit with us. I made your favourite meal.'

I put my earphones back in my ears and leaned back on the couch.

'Clay, you're just going to eat with us.'

'I'm not hungry.'

'But I prepared extra for you. You used to like this a lot.'

'I said that I'm not hungry. Is being deaf part of your disease?'

'I'm going to take your phone if you're not having dinner with us.'

I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes as I walked to the table with the video on. I turned the volume up high so I couldn't hear my dads and sat down on a chair next to the table.

My dad gave me my plate and smiled. 'Look, you like that, right?'

I ignored him and started eating without them being ready yet.

'Can you wait for us?'

I shook my head and kept eating, finishing my meal in five minutes. I stood up and wanted to walk away as my dad grabbed my hand. 'Stay here, I'm sick of it now. You're going to turn off that video and we are going to have a talk.'

'No, don't feel like it.'

My dad grabbed my phone and pulled the earphones out of it as he put it away. 'Sit down, please.'

'I don't want to talk with such a gross dumbass.'

'Sit down, now.'

'No.'

'Clay, you're getting on my nerves. Hitting your kid is unacceptable, but I'm getting this close,' he said, pointing it out between his thumb and index finger.

'An abusive, sick and gay dad. Can I get even worse?'

'I'm not abusive, but you're misbehaving really badly now. Sit down and talk to me.'

I figured I would go a bit too far if I walked away, so I sat down on the couch. My dad sat next to me and smiled. 'Thank you, can we just talk?' he asked as my other dad came to sit next to me too.

'Fine,' I sighed and rolled my eyes in annoyance.

'Clay, can you please try to explain why you are this homophobic? You weren't in the past and it all suddenly changed. Are you actually homophobic or just scared to get bullied? Or are you maybe doubting your sexuality?'

'I'm not doubting my sexuality in the slightest, I'm not as gross as you are.'

'But why do you find it gross? We really love each other, Clay. We really like to hug each other, just as you would like to hug your future girlfriend or friends.'

'I don't hug my friends, that's gay as hell.'

'Why would that be a bad thing?'

'It's just gross.'

'But why?'

'It's just all your fault. I want to live a normal life and you're just ruining it for me.'

'Have you ever thought about your own sexuality?'

'WHY? I'm straight.'

'Do you know that you can always talk to us about sexuality? You don't have to keep up an act of being tough if you're thinking about being anything but straight.'

'Why are you accusing me of being a faggot?'

'Don't use that slur, I don't appreciate this at all.'

'I'm not gay, that's a horrible thing to accuse me off.'

'I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm just saying that you can tell us if you do like boys.'

'I DON'T.'

I thought back to George's question today and must admit that I had imagined myself to kiss a boy a few times after. It was disgusting and I would never do it, but for some reason it was more pleasing than the thought of kissing a girl.

I looked at my dad and sighed. 'Just leave me alone.'

I was really ashamed about myself as I saw an image of myself kissing George. I had to fight against my tears, because I hated myself this much and stood up. 'I'm going to bed.'

'Do you want some ice cream first?'

I shrugged. I was too tired to fight back against it, but I wanted to be gone here as fast as possible. I wouldn't be able to hold back my tears for that long.

My dad gave me a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I ate it as fast as possible, not caring about the headache it was giving me. I stood up after and ran to my room, locking the door behind me to make sure no one would come in.

Tears started streaming down my face and I grabbed my phone. I stared at my wallpaper with George and started crying even harder. Was it too gay to have a picture of George and me smiling at the camera as my wallpaper?

I was suddenly insecure about anything. I wasn't gay, I couldn't be gay. Even if I was gay, I would NEVER like George. I stared at my wallpaper again and looked at George. Why was he this beautiful? It was so unfair.