~ July 20th 2020 ~

These past couple of days have been really hard, but I'm thankful for Kyle. He's been such a blessing. Every time I cry or whatever...I always find myself being tightly held by him. He is like an angel from out of this world. Unlike any other guy I know...he listens. Sure Kyle talks - in fact he talks a lot - but he also listens to what I've got to say. He also never disagrees with me which is real sweet.

I'm lucky to have someone in my life who is patience and make san effort. Kyle is the boyfriend who always puts 110 percent into everything he does. There are some days where it's only eighty or whatever, on those days I cheer him up. We both struggle with our anxiety and mental health...it's nice that we can always count on each other for a 'pick me up'. Not a lot of partners have that privilege...and we do.

"Let's do it." Kyle smiles while he eats his pop tarts. "Do what?" I laugh back. Honestly - if he laughs - I laugh. We've got that weird bond, the type of bond you see in the movies. I used to think it was fake...me and Dan never had that bond. We was feeling two very different emotions for presumably all of our relationship. But this...I don't know. This feels perfect. "Tell everyone." I nearly spit out my milkshake in shock.

"We haven't even told your family...let alone Ali. What do you think they'll make out of this? Us?" I've got a good point and Ky knows it.

But Kyle being Kyle shrugs back his shoulders, of course that is a completely honest move. Kyle hardly lies about anything. The only time when I do catch him out lying to me is when he finds a valid excuse not to go out for date night. The real cause is always because of a video games release or something like that...

"I think me and you have waited long enough. Considering Dan and Lana are expecting a kid in like...November...December?" I almost choke, and there's nothing in my mouth!

"What the actual fuck?" I loudly whisper. I'm only whispering because we're in public surrounded by little kids on their school holidays. "Please tell me you knew about Lana and Dan...having a baby?" I know I said I'll stop checking in on them...but I didn't think that they would settle down this soon. Our daughter died last year...we only broke up...last year.

Dan's fucked up. No wonder why he is having cardiac problems. I shake my head while Kyle tenses up and cringes for me. "Oh..." He whispers with his voice wearily trailing off. "I mean...they're happy Maisie. Like...really happy." Last time we spoke about Dan it sounded like he was on his hospital death bed.

I don't question it though.

"You've got a point." I smile nodding my head. Once again, this isn't to make Dan or any of the Bastille crew jealous. It's simply because I want to move on with my life...just like how Dan did with his.

"I know I have got a point. That's why I kind of already made the announcement." My eyes widen as Kyle nods his head. He clearly isn't joking. "O-okay..."

I don't read Kyle's post. I do my own thing on Twitter. I'm only using Twitter because Kyle doesn't use his Instagram for anything else other than the sole purpose of posting pictures of Will on his birthday.

So I create my own post.

I mean. It's true. Who else stays up all night talking about how the world is fucked up? How there's a stigma for guys not to be as open about their emotions as women. We're painfully sad and painfully emo. I show Kyle my phone as he grunts. I guess that's an appreciation grunt? Or at least that's what I hope it is.

"Love it." He whispers kissing my cheek while I shyly hold the side of his furry face.

But that's when my phone buzzes. That must mean one thing only - since I have it on that mode - some verified user has commented. "What's that?" Kyle asks while he continues to eat the strawberry pop tarts. I shrug my shoulders back as I check the message...but only to stare it it in shock.

Dan stalks my account...what?