~ May 12th 2020 ~

Kyle's phone call completely catches me off guard.

I slide the call button to the right and turn up the volume with the pads of my fingertips. I can't pick the phone up, I've just done my nails. "Oh my god!" Kyle more or less shouts. I have to roll my eyes, every single time Ky calls me up...he somehow manages to give me a headache in the first few seconds.

"What now?" I have to laugh or otherwise I'd go insane! Kyle is pretty nuts. I'm not complaining or anything. "Dan for the past couple of weeks has been in hospital" I mean...okay? "I'm not sure if I need to know that. It's his...personal-" Ky cuts me off. "Yeah but like - he had a cardiac arrest!" Oh shit.

"Is he okay now?" I mean...I hope he is.

From what I've learned about from Lana - from Kyle - she's probably besides herself. He doesn't need anyone else worrying about him, especially me. Dan wouldn't give a shit if I was the one who was in the hospital

"Yeah. The doctors are impressed by his recovery. They've been keeping him in the hospital...just in case. He should be out next week, I'm not sure if that's still the plan. Dan has been blanking everyone. Can't blame him." I nod my head even though he can't see.

Instead of replying I lightly blow on my pretty nails. I got bored in the studio while my new music producer is rendering the music. I don't know why I'm 'needed' in the studio when they're rendering my music so that it's tailored to earphones. They want to give something 'special' to streaming services users. I just think it sounds really fucking annoying.

I don't even like my voice that much so hearing it in this 'surround' sound with isolated vocals is making me nauseous. I had to do something and painting my nails is the perfect distraction. I kind of block out my music and focus not painting my skin around my nails.

"In other news I...have brought a plane ticket to America..." Kyle's voice trails off as I try not to smile. He treats me good. "And I have those Percy Pig sweets you like from Mark's and Spencer's." I almost gasp. When we went on our first date I told him that those sweets is probably why I miss most about the UK in general. No wonder why Haim obsess about them! They're too good. I went off of them before I had Bee though, I think I consumed too many of them throughout my pregnancy that I literally got sick because of them.

I'd kill to have a packet now. Just because they was...her...favourite.

"When are you coming here then?" I ask while I bite my lip. Never in a million years would I ever of thought that I'd date the guy with the beard from Bastille. It's kind of funny how times are changing though.

I'm not the same person as I was last year...that's one thing for sure. I don't meant to preach or whatever, but I've taken time for myself...and I've found multiple new things about me. That I can deal with pain - like getting tattoos and stuff. That the colour black looks good on me. That it's okay for me not to be okay. God, a year ago I was such a fucking try hard.

If Dan didn't deserve me at my best - then he doesn't ever deserve me.

"What if I'm already at the airport...and need a ride?" My eyes widen as I immediately stand up. "No way!" I shout in excitement. "No way are you here!" I jump up and down. I know I must look like a complete and utter fool but Kyle is here! Kyle!

He knows what it's like to feel like shit. That people except stuff off of you...he knows what it's like to...want to hide away from the limelight. We're basically the same and I'm glad Kyle plucked up the courage to talk to me. "Yes fucking way!" Kyle shouts on the other end of the phone as I hold my hand over my mouth.

"Stay where you are! Like...ah..." I laugh in shock. I don't deserve him. "Alright...that was my orbital plan anyway. I might busk for some money, I kind of left all of the change back home...bring me a drink yeah." I know Kyle is probably joking but of course I will bring him a drink.

"Okay..." I say into the mic as I walk out of the studio ignoring my producer giving me a scolding look. "Okay then" Kyle says into the mic with a smile in his voice.

We're taking our relationship...very slowly. However, I can't help but feel this love for him already. Of course I'm not going to admit it until we've been dating for a couple of months...at least until he says it first. I know he has an anxiety issue and stuff. I just want things to be slow and not rushed - like my relationship with Dan was...because of Bee.

But to summarise things up quickly...I love Kyle Simmons.