~ February 28th ~

It's been fourteen days since I found out the news. Fourteen miserable days. Not only has the 'days' just passed but also the mourning sickness. Since I was mega early finding out what was wrong with my body...I didn't suffer the full wrath of puke...until now.

To make matters worse Dan is on tour. He's promoting Doom Days still, but it's coming to the end of a era. The album didn't do so well apparently, no one really likes talking about it compared to Bad Blood and Wild World. I think Dan's just glad to go out on stage and sing some older songs for a change?

"If it's a boy then it'll be the first boy in our family since we was in the royal family!" So...Dan doesn't know but I told my aunt. My aunt is totally beat shit crazy, she's also eccentric, but not in the Tim Burton way. She's eccentric as in...she lives like the Edwardian times. Eliza talks like it too, not to mention she is probably the only woman left on earth who wears gowns and corsets.

Yeah, this family has issues and...those issues mainly revolve around Eliza and her mentality. I don't really give a shit what people say or think of her, she's crazy but in a good way. Plus she raised me up to be fluent in sarcasm...amongst other things. She's a great woman.

Unlike other 'eccentric' aunts...she is actually young. No my age young but she's only ten years older than me - sometimes I forget that when she acts like an hundred year old ghost or whatever.

"Jesus Christ." I mumble under my breath. Honestly I feel weird about this whole situation. I feel weird knowing that I can't cope with kids - but there one inside of me right now. I then feel weird because I know Dan wants kids. I guess he is just afraid of what happened to Bee will happen again?

"No, sadly not the lord and saviour. Just your future son." Son? Oh god, maybe I shouldn't of told her. This was a mistake - I only needed to talk to someone who wasn't my panic induced boyfriend. "Sorry to burst your bubble Eliza...but this baby might not even be a thing." I'm considering getting rid of it, well me and Dan both discuss it every time we FaceTime each other.

There's something inside of me - that isn't the thing - that wants to keep it. Not only for Dan's sake but my sake too. This thing is older than...the other thing. I guess I freaked out at first because I found out around the same time as I did before. It just proves that I know my body.

"A child will do you some good. It'll make you less dependent on me." Is that a dig that she wants me to not rely on her twenty-four-seven? Because...that's bullshit. Eliza is the only woman who understands me...who I thought would never judge me. But I'm always wrong. "Fucking wow..." I almost laugh as I go to pick up a glass of champagne without thinking. I even put it in my mouth, before I can swallow my aunt stands up. "You're pregnant!" She shouts as my eyes widen.

Of course I do the right thing and spit the expensive beverage back into the glass. "Sorry...I forgot..." honestly I've been a forget-me-not for majority of my life, but recently it's been a little bit worse. I don't care though.

Before my aunt can have a go at me my phone vibrates. I look down to see Dan is FaceTiming me. God I forgot he was going to call earlier than usual.

Of course I answer. The first thing I see is Dan looking almost shocked that I picked up. The dickhead.

"Seriously?" I laugh as Dan then smiles. The cute kind of smile where his crooked tooth slightly shows, resting against his lip. I'm glad Dan hasn't changed who he is and all of his imperfections - to me they're perfect.

"Sorry...I wasn't expecting you to pick up..." I look over Dan's shoulder to see that they're on some sort of bridge. "Where are you now in the world?" I ask scratching my head. His been away for five days...and I'm really starting to miss him. I've also learned that I cannot live by myself, I guess I got used to the idea of of 'staying' over Dan's that...I need company. Hence why I'm staying at Eliza's house.

"Honestly I have no fucking idea. A minute ago we was in Germany I think? We're probably in Russia or...I don't know." Dan embarrassingly laughs while I roll my eyes. "Well, wherever you are...you have pretty great mobile service." Dan nods his head with a smile.

There's then a long pause. "So...I've been thinking..." here we go. He legitimately brings the thing up every single FaceTime call. I'm not even lying. "Oh right?" I go back to serious mode. "I want...it. And I know what you're going to say and I will respect whatever decision you choose. It's your body, and I want to honour it and-" I'd be a fucking evil prick if I got rid of it.

"I'm scared it's going to happen again...you know?" Dan whispers as his eyes wander off from the phone to something - or someone - behind it. Probably a band mate or their manager? I don't know. They don't speak tho, and I'm pretty sure they walk out because I hear a click.

"I'm scared of that too." I whisper back admittedly. I guess that's why I hate kids. One - because I thought I could never have them again for some reason...that I was jealous. Two - because if I was ever to have a baby I'd be a nervous wreck. "So yeah..." Dan's voice trails off.

I look down for a second or two. I picture a bump on me...a baby...a child. "What if it goes wrong?" My eyes tear up. Bloody hormones. "I don't know." Dan admits as I'm now reluctant to give Dan what he wants. "But I'll support you. One hundred percent. I just really fucking love you Lana." I smile through my tears nodding my head.

I believe him.

"Okay." I whisper nodding my head as I feel my body screaming in protest. "We're having a baby." I nervously cry as Dan holds his hand over his mouth. He smiles...or at least I think he does...but his eyes too water up.

I cannot believe we're doing this.