𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬

- 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝘀 (𝗳𝗲𝗮𝘁. 𝗞𝗲𝘀𝗵𝗮)

"Hey mum...it's me..." - my voice trails off as I try not to cry - "I know you was wondering about Bee, so I just thought I'd call you up...but you and dad have probably gone to that retirement party." I close my eyes for a second when there's nobody in this long gloomy corridor.

"So yeah...we've just got out of the fifth appointment of the day. It turns out that Bee is underweight...and they don't know why. The professionals don't fucking know why..." I laugh at how fucking stupid this whole situation is. Someone clearly hasn't been doing their fucking job.

"So now they're debating whether they should keep Maisie in the hospital attached to these drips and hope for the best - or to induce her." The baby won't survive. Even though she's seven months and babies have survived...Bee is weak. "Either way things aren't looking good and Maisie is a fucking wreck. I'm...I'm sorry for swearing. It just hurts." My voice trails off as there's a brief moment of silence.

"I know that I haven't been the world's best dad...and now I'm starting to really fucking regret it. Even if they do have to induce her - my daughter isn't going to know what a good dad is..." I loose it completely over the phone as I just break down crying.

I know that this must be normal - we can't be the only parents in the whole wide world to experience as something fucked up as this. It feels lonely - especially since the fucking doctors and numerous midwives don't know what's going on. I should probably wrap this phone call up and go back to Maisie. I left her in tears...she is doing everything she can.

"I love you...so much." I whisper into my phone as a midwife walks down the corridor pretty slowly. She's only young, maybe in her early twenties. She looks concerned to. I mean it isn't everyday you see a guy on his phone crying to his mother. "And yeah, I hope you and dad are all okay...because we sure as hell aren't." That's when I hang up the phone. I feel bad and I shouldn't of said that. My mum doesn't need anymore grief or sadness in her life.

And here I am...I'm such a fuck up.

Before I can walk back into Maisie's hospital room the young midwife yells 'wait'. I mean...I know she's talking to me and I can't act like I haven't seen her because she knows I have. So I wait with my hand on the metal door handle.

"Is everything okay?" Does everything seriously look fine? Doctors these days are fuckups. I cannot wait to sue this hospital - and all of the ones Maisie went to in Italy. They should've noticed something wasn't right. "Yeah." I lie trying to sober up.

"Why are you in this part of the hospital without a badge? Are you lost...do you need the men's room?" I shake my head as I let go of the handle and point to the door. "My girlfriend is staying here...I just called my parents..." I then wave my phone - of which I didn't thankfully put back in my pocket - our in front of me as proof.

The midwife smiles, she has hazel hair and green eyes - she's also tan and a little on the curvy side, but it suits her. She's pretty. She actually reminds me of my ex. "What's your girlfriend staying in here for?" Maybe she's a new midwife? Or maybe she is testing me...I guess it does seem suspicious for me to be here.

"She's seven months pregnant and the baby is underweight and we don't know why so the doctors want to look after her." Of course then the midwife backs away - she seems less tense. I guess working in the abandoned part of the hospital where the only sound is of those who are in childbirth...is musky terrifying. "Is your girlfriend staying in this room?" I nod my head as she smiles. "I'm sister Maggie, she is going to be in mine and Abbie's care...as you might know?" I nod my head even though I don't.

"Thanks..." I'm not sure what I can or can't say. This is just awkward. "I can officially let you know that we are not going to induce your baby. It's not safe for the mother or baby at this stage of her pregnancy. Many cases of underweight children doesn't mean...what you think it does." Well fuck me that is the most reassuring thing any professional in this shit hole of a hospital has said today.

"They're in good care." With that the nurse smiles before walking away. I mean...okay?

I put my phone into my pocket and open the door to see Maisie sitting cross legged on the bed with tears rolling down her cheeks...

"I have some news..." I whisper while the door behind me clicks shut.