𝙄'𝙢 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

- 𝗠Ø (𝗳𝗲𝗮𝘁. 𝗙𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲)

~ December 7th 2018 ~

I know I don't need to decorate this room for Christmas - but I think it's only fair. Plus I want to take pictures of my babies room.

The move to Italy was seemingly easy and hassle free. It's mainly because I hired people to stress around for me - I didn't have to lift a finger...actually that's a lie. I signed my name on cheques. I guess that's a plus side about fame. People do everything for you.

However, I don't like what the designer did to this place while I went shopping. As it happens, I'm now redoing the entire Christmas decorations. It was the last time I'm going to use designers or stuff, anyway. The designer just had to fell sorry for me being alone and a expectant single mother and got her team to give me a free makeover for Christmas. 'As every house should do so in the holiday season'. I couldn't deny. So I smiled and nodded my head...watching them wreck my new house again.

They moved all of the furniture into the wrong rooms. I had to move everything by myself to the right rooms. Admittedly I did have to hint to their saddened faces that they 'might've got a bit mixed up'. They took it like a pinch of salt thankfully. I don't want to throw it back in their faces or anything. They arranged everything, including my passport and living arrangements here. I'm very thankful. They are a kind bunch to say the least.

Just not the best.

I hated it what they did to my house with the decorations. The decorations they brought me are beautiful and traditional - glittery and beautiful! But the places where they arranged them...they look so bad. Obviously I couldn't tell them that I disliked it. But those since guys are never gonna come back here...they won't know if I change things around. At least that's my logic.

I pray to god that they don't know about my private blog.

"Ow-ow-ow!" I loudly say grabbing the side of my stomach in pain. I'm still slim - like really slim - however because I'm slim my three month bump is fairly noticeable. It sticks out a little bit...it's cute. But small. Maybe I need to eat something? Today I skipped lunch and I've been feeling fairly dizzy for it. Lately I've been trying to eat more - and it's been working because my baby is growing healthily according to every single English speaking midwife.

Today I was in a tearful mess because of the decorations I kind of forgot to eat. Pregnancy has made me fall to a whole another level of low, throwing up, mood swings and hormones...it's scary.

Nothing like in the movies...or books for that matter. It just seems like everyone lies about 'how great it is'. Of course I'm happy I have my body and I can't wait to meet him or her. "I'm getting food...I'm getting food" I mumble under my breath while I go into the kitchen area...while my stomach begins to almost throb. I know it can't be good - but I know if I call the midwife sup yet again they're going to tell to stop worrying and 'enjoy' pregnancy.

I throw the freezer door open and I get out the chocolate ice cream which I wasn't planning on eating. I grab a spoon from the draw which is nearest to me and open the lid. I don't even sit down...I just eat it straight from the tub.

After ten spoonfuls of chocolate The pains finally fade away, I smile thinking how stupid that could've been if I did go over dramatic and call the hospital. I side the spoon into the tub and walk into the living room. As soon as I sit down on the sofa I put the ice cream tub to the side while my phone chimes. It's a Twitter notification...saying that...Dan's released the fourth mixtape.

I sit up for this as I click on the Spotify app which redirects me to the mixtape/EP. I close my eyes before skipping the first song. It's only because I've heard that one multiple times...

The next song is 'Would I Lie To You?' I know the original song. I love it. As soon as I hear Craig fucking David I roll my eyes backwards - how Dan was freaking over the fact that Craig made another song with him...three songs. He was barely in Would I Lie To You.

"Look into my eyes can't you see they're open wide, would I lie to you baby? Would I lie to you? Don't you know it's true girl, there's no else but you, would I lie to you?"

I have to laugh or otherwise I'd go insane. It's a good song. And I think he should know that it is. Especially coming from his ex...who he lied to.