"Come to me.

With all your subtext and fantasy.

Just do that thing that you do.

In a perverse hue." – Lady Gaga, ARTPOP

I feel a churn inside my stomach, and my feet are glued on the ground. If I could just make my wings sprout and cover myself with my wings just to prevent myself from seeing my father's disappointment look at me, I would totally do it without any hesitations or doubts. The way the crown glistens on top of his head, made of pure gold and different type of gems engraved on the metal, it's scaring me. Whenever the King – my father – is pissed, the glow of the crown will be different. And right now, the glow of his crown atop of his head is something that I cannot bear. It shows how disappointed my father he is to me, and I feel the shame washing me, bathing me, and I feel like I'm so vulnerable. I feel like I'm not supposed to be here, not supposed to be an angel yet here I am, bearing the title of the Angel of Love, who don't know the purpose of the love itself; the angel who used the power of love unnecessarily.

My father is wearing the King's attire: a white cloak that screams purity, a crown that shouts power, and the white wings – so white that it looks like the clouds itself – that says that he's the most powerful Angel ever. There are ringlets on his wrists, each has a meaning. They were made by my mother. There's a gold necklace around his neck, the chain glinting brightly as if it's the sun.

My mother stands just beside my father, who also has the look of disappointment in her eyes. There's the churning feeling inside of my chest again and I feel like I'm going to throw up. My knees buckle. The look that my mother has stored for me is something that I cannot bear to look at it. She makes it so obvious, looking at me like I'm never her son in the first place.

We're on the massive hall of the Castle of which we live in. My room is very far away from the Hall of Angels, and each member of the Angels Association is here. The angels are looking at me with blank expression, some of the angels have their head bowed down, as if they can't stand a chance to look at me for what I've done. I'm the main reason why the mortal girl has been stabbed to death, and every time my mind flashes the vivid image of me leaving the two behind, not breaking them apart, it has me wanting to bolt out of the room and defy everything, even my parents.

The glamour of the room suddenly becomes dark for me. The statues of the angels that have been a Guardian before look down on me, their eyes boring into mine, mocking me, telling me how I should be ashamed of myself. I suddenly want to cover myself with anything – hands, clothes, anything that can hide me.

"Hadraniel," my father speaks, his voice is thunderous, indicating that he's about to go King on me and not a father, which I expect him to do so. What I've done is basically a crime. I have defied the law. I'm not really a warrior yet, but I doubt that I will ever be after the incident that has happened on the mortal world, on Earth. My heart pounds against my ribcage, every pound of my heart rings in my ears, and I want to block out the painfully sounds from entering my ears. "What happened on Earth, about the mortal woman who was stabbed to death, it's solely your fault. You have defied a law, which is not to interfere with the mortals if has not been told. You are barely a warrior, and you don't know your purpose. Please enlighten me with your reasons."

I remain silent, my lips in a purse. My mind goes blank, and I feel myself trembling. My hands fist in my side, and I want to punch a hole in the wall of this massive castle I'm living in. It's my fault why the mortal woman has died, and they all know it. I know it. Yet hearing those words escaping my father's mouth is just enough to make me fall onto my knees and cry like a baby. But I push the tears away, puffing out my chest, wanting myself to look like a tough angel.

Each member of the Angel's Association is waiting for my answer, and I notice my servant Léandre, who has been sent down on Earth to hunt demons that were able to escape Hell, who eventually found love on Earth with one of the creatures the Good Goddess has made – a werewolf, is staring at me with sad eyes. Unlike the rest, his eyes hold sympathy and sadness for me. Léandre has been my servant for, like, forever. Ever since we were babies. He's basically my brother, a brother from another mother, and he knows what I feel about this. He can't speak for me as he doesn't have the right to do so unless he's given a chance to speak.

"I went down to do my duty –" I reason, but I'm quickly cut off by my father. No, by the King.

"Duty? What duty are we talking about here, Hadraniel?" The King says coldly, and I shrink down in fear. My father's eyes bore into mine, and I feel like he's stripping me off (not sexually. He's my father for Pete's sake and the thought of my father stripping me off naked in his eyes is enough to make me gag. That's so... incest) my power. "You barely know your duty yet that's what you reasoned. Are we trying to fool around here, Hadraniel? You are barely anything. You are barely an angel." My mother remains silent, staring into my pleading eyes. My father's words send a stabbing feeling into my chest, and I choke on words. Tears begin to well up in my eyes, and soon, they are freely running down my cheeks. My father's words are like knives that keep cutting me. "As a punishment, you will be sent down on Earth, stripped off your power, and you will live as a mere human until I decide that you can go home, here in this very castle you're standing on, where you live."

There's a couple of gasps in the crowd, but all I'm hearing is my father's words for me. I will be sent down on Earth, without any power, and I will live as a mere human? That's kind of harsh punishment for me, isn't it? "But... but... that's not fair!" I reason, my hands getting clammy.

My father's thunderous and murderous gaze bores into mine, and a shiver run up and down my spine, making my knees wobble. I suddenly feel weak, as if just the mere presence of my father is enough to draw out my energy. For the first time in my life, this is the first I've seen my father angry, like he's about to explode. "Fair? What do you know about fairness, Hadraniel? You went down on Earth, used your power that caused the massive obsession of the evil towards the mortal woman that eventually got killed, and you left them. Is that what you called fair? Is that your definition of fair?"

The beat of my heart is erratic, and I can't breathe. It feels like my lungs run out of breath, and I have nothing to release. My hands come into a fist so tight that my knuckles turn white, and the tears well up again in my eyes. This is no ordinary punishment. I can feel it. As I look into my father – into the King, I see that he doesn't regret the decision he made, and I search for his face, search for something that he doesn't mean what he said and that he'd give me a different punishment rather than being sent down on Earth just to live as a mere human without bearing any powers or protection from the Heaven. But there's nothing on his face other than the furious expression he wears. I look at my mother, silently pleading, begging for her into talking my father about this, but she never looks at me in the eyes. In fact, she turns her head away and looks at anywhere else but me and I feel my heart sink down like a Titanic once it hit the iceberg.

Tears begin to run down my cheeks. Without thinking of the consequences, I turn on my heel and run away, ignoring my father's booming voice, calling me to come back, still angry. I ignore his voice. The tears keep pouring out of my eyes like the water flowing across the river.

My mind reels back to the pond of life, where I've seen the mortal woman getting cornered by the evil-influenced mortal man. My wings begin to unfold behind my back and I soar high into the sky. The sun is burning, burning my skin as my eyes squint as I focus. My father is being unfair, and he knows it really well. There's a different purpose why sending me down on Earth as a mortal is his chosen punishment for me. I try to think of the other possibilities, the greater good at this punishment I'm going to receive, but I can't seem to think of anything. It couldn't be because I can't define love. It couldn't be because my father wants me to know what the purpose of love is. No, that's something I can learn from here and not on Earth.

As I near the pond of life, I land on the paved ground swiftly, my wings folding behind my back and I feel the cool breeze of the air hitting my skin, making my skin tingle. I wrap my arms around me, feeling the cold. My eyes scan the area. There's nothing strange around here yet why do I feel like there's something off about this place? I walk toward the pond and see the Earth, and I'm surprised that it doesn't reflect anything. I lean down and squint my eyes, trying to see if I could just catch a glimpse of Earth, but it does not show my anything.

Then everything becomes a slow-motion, as if we're in the movies I've seen when my servant Léandre brought me DVDs, television, and a DVD player (I don't really know why he was able to bring those stuff to me, but I enjoyed watching DVDs, especially Avengers. Mortal movies are so cool!). I hear a voice behind me and I whirl around, but I never catch a glimpse of that angel. I feel the angel smile at me in a creepy manner, and I know that somehow, somehow, that the angel is already tainted with darkness. But I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

"See you on Earth, Hadraniel," it says to me, and I don't have time to face him as he stabs me something inside me that made me gasp. It's not hurting me, but it's definitely consuming the power I have and I feel myself weaken. It pushes me to the pond of life and I'm swallowed by the water. It's not my father. It's not my father. It's not my father who pushed me here. He will never do it.

And suddenly, I'm falling from the sky and a scream never gets out of my lips as I open my mouth, the air getting inside my mouth and I shut it close. Tears prickle my eyes and I wrap my arms around myself, as if to protect myself from hitting the ground.

I close my eyes, not wanting to see how I'd land with a smack on the ground of Earth. My clothes are being torn apart as the wind tries to lift me up, but I notice that my wings are not spreading wide. In fact, I don't feel like I have wings at all, and suddenly, I feel like a piece of me has been stolen from me and I cry in frustration.

In any minute, I'll be landing on Earth, and that's where my journey will start.