𝙵𝚎𝚕𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝙸 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞.

𝙸𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚊?

𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎.

𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚒𝚊.

𝙲𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞.

𝚄𝚙 𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚎𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚛.

𝙺𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜.

𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝.

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘

𝚆𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚔 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜.

𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜.

𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚢𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚜.

𝙼𝚢 𝚞𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

Lennon disappeared into the dark. She clung to the backside of the house to both stay hidden and make sure she didn't get lost.

There were people in the hot tub and drunks were past out in the yard like Lennon had stepped into some kind of rom-com. Nobody paid her much mind and by the time she was slipping into the yard beside Heather's, she was undetected and shivering.

The cold didn't bother her. Her body might have reacted in a quiver, but how could she be cold with alcohol pressed to her lips?

The substance made her feel less anxious about leaving in the manner she had after finding Billy and Tina making out on the couch. She wasn't contemplating or worrying or feeling the insurmountable weight of guilt for stringing what felt like two guys along.

She giggled to herself and ran towards the green and white van sitting in the far corner of the neighbor's backyard where nobody would've guessed to see it. Lennon looped around the side and drank as she waited for Eddie to join her in her victory because that's where her loyalties laid. She wanted Eddie. She always wanted Eddie; she was just never able to admit it before.

Meanwhile, inside, Eddie spun on his heels with shifting and skeptical eyes turned to the ground. He was trying to piece together what the hell just happened but whatever he tried coming up with didn't make any sense.

He did as he was told though. He trusted Lennon. As ridiculously crazy as she seemed, he couldn't help but want to please her. He casually walked out into the hall and pulled on his coat before leaving.

Grant had gone home and after saying goodbye to a very suspicious Gareth and Jeff, he was eager to go.

He cast a cautious gaze over his shoulder to see if anyone saw him leave after Lennon and once he was in the clear, he was gone.

He swerved around the parked cars and found Lennon standing in the shadows of the neighbor's house with her elbows propped up on the hood. She was smiling at him but it was difficult to make out in the darkness. She still had the bottle of vodka in her hand but at least half of what was left was gone now.

Eddie unlocked the vehicle and turned over his shoulder again to make sure nobody grew suspicious before hopping into the driver's seat. As soon as their doors closed, Eddie was wasting no time interrogating her.

"What the hell was-"

But apparently, Lennon was also not wasting any time with him, only, she was more interested in marking his body than asking questions.

"Shhh," she shushed him, lifting her leg over his lap and clasping her mouth to his.

Eddie mumbled something incoherent against her lips and when the pressure of her hips falling on top of his midsection caused a wave of euphoria to wash over him. He became alarmingly aware of what she was insinuating and the pressure was driving him over the edge.

"Whoa... Hey... Lennon, sweetheart... Hey, wait," Eddie hissed between her possessive kisses.

"You've had your fun," she whispered drunkenly. "Now it's my turn," she smirked and planted a firm kiss on his supple lips before trailing down his jaw, and stopping around his collarbone.

Eddie's eyes fell and a soft sigh fell from his lips as she peppered him with kisses.

She was always good with words. She was able to give him verbal affirmations all the time, but she had never catered to his language of physical touch before.

Her confident kisses were dripping in want. She needed to feel his pleasure after being restricted to merely seeing it. He satisfied her eyes, but it wasn't enough. She needed more.

She kissed his neck and her heavy breathing in the silence of Eddie's van was not encouraging him to stop like he knew he should. His hands found their way to her shoulders when he forced his eyes open and as if she knew what was coming, her hand trailed down the side of his chest to bring him closer.

Her fingers were suddenly snaked between the fabric of his shirt and the cold from her fingertips caused him to yelp. "Shit... Lennon. You're drunk. C'mon-"

"Shhh," she repeated beside his ear.

She placed her warm lips against his earlobe and chuckled, sending goosebumps down Eddie's neck and chest. He was blushing. She wouldn't be able to see it, but he was blushing madly. His chest was a bright red color and his ears were beginning to turn flushed at her cheeky teasing.

He sighed a heavy breath of restraint and threw his head back in desperation.

She smelled like alcohol and she seemed unstable. She was wildly brazen and overzealous and roguish but damn did it feel good.

It felt good but it felt familiar; it felt painfully familiar. The easiness of it, the desperation, the need for a quick fix, he felt it all before.

It was sexy but it wasn't Lennon. It didn't smell like Lennon and she didn't sound like herself. He knew it was her, but the similarities of past hookups and how Lennon was acting didn't sit right. It didn't feel right. It wasn't right. It felt good. But it didn't feel right.

Her hands quickly warmed to his skin as she stroked his sides with a gentle touch. Her teeth were happily grazing his skin in the same manner he had done the night before. Her lips were wet and overtly hot and her delayed breathing beside his ear was intoxicatingly seductive.

Her legs were spread over his lap, straddling him with tightened thighs pressed into the sides of his. She had angled her hips which cushioned her body on top of his and allowed her to reach down to his lips and neck without having to contort too absurdly. She had one hand wrapped around the shoulder of his seat and another clasped to the side of his head, cradling his face and curling his billowing hair around his ear for better exposure.

"Lennon..." he drew out hopelessly.

She ignored him and continued to kiss the sides of his neck. The hand she had holding the back of his seat to lock him in place had fallen possessively down his shoulder. She let her fingers run towards his spine before dragging the sharp edge of her nail across the hemmed outline of his boxers. Her multi-textured adulation ran closer to the center of his body which caused him to shiver and gasp softly with surprised.

"We shouldn't do this," he winced, pushing her back slightly by the shoulders. Instinctually, when he came to the conclusion that they should stop, he wanted the pleasure to stop too. It would make it easier to say 'no' to something he inadvertently wanted. His hand went to her toying one and pulled her from his waistband to stop any further touching that may cause his refusal to become harder.

She sighed. Her back was almost flush with the steering wheel as Eddie forced her to meet his eyes in the dark but because there was no light close enough, they were almost vacant. They were almost swallowed by utter darkness and Lennon could only see the outline of his dark pink lips and pale face in the frame of his messy head of hair.

"You don't want to..." she spoke timidly. If Eddie could see her, he would've seen the most innocent look of despair on her face, but because he couldn't, Lennon couldn't feel reassured by his reaction. "I went too far, didn't I?"

"No!" Eddie swallowed uncomfortably and sighed, lifting his hands to her arms to comfort her. "That's not- You're drunk an-and you and Billy-"

"I caught Billy making out with Tina," Lennon wagged her head tauntingly as the image made her feel better about being denied by Eddie. Her self-sabotaging head was telling her it wasn't a rare occurrence to essentially be cheated on. Nothing was official. Things were fluid between her and both Billy and Eddie, and she wasn't the first choice for many people. It felt like cheating. It wasn't, but that didn't disqualify how she felt. So, why should Eddie be any different?

He's different. He's always been different. That's why. You know better. Stop acting like an insecure brat. Stop. Just for a second. Stop trying to ruin your own life.

"You're joking," Eddie's voice went deep and doubtful. "You're telling me his cocky ass had you and he still managed to lose you all in the same night?!" Eddie derided hilariously.

"Oh my God... Here I am," he put his hands over his heart, "working my ass off to get you to fall in love with me while this douchebag gets a free merit and he still can't cuff you! It's that easy, huh? It's that easy for him to be the worlds biggest piece of shit. How does he manage to fuck that up?!" he laughed.

Lennon hummed amusingly and shot her eyebrows upward with surprise. She had her hands on his shoulders and felt the rumble of his merriment course through his body. She couldn't help but smile and contain her inappropriate laughter.

"What a dick!" he continued to deride happily, causing Lennon to pull her finger to her nose as she snickered.

"What a dick..." Lennon giggled lowly, nodding her head in pleasant agreement before leaning down and connecting her lips to Eddie's in a less intense kiss than before. He chuckled against her lips and held her wrists against his chest before turning his head.

"Alright... Lennon," he turned solemn when he spoke. "If you weren't drunk and we weren't in a van right now in front of Heather Holloway's mansion, I would jump on this opportunity. But you really need to get off..." he chuckled nervously, shifting underneath her weight and trying to discourage the blood flow he had no control over.

"Mmm," she scrunched her face up and complained. "I don't care right now. I don't care where or when, I just care that it's you," she reconnected their lips but was rudely refused another.

"Well, I care," he admitted. "I'm not Hargrove. I don't wanna fuck you like a whore and gloat about it the next day," he sighed and shook his head lazily.

Lennon giggled. "Doesn't sound so bad if it'sss you," she stopped trying to occupy those addicting lips of his and possessed his neck instead. "In this van or... in the neighbor's yard across the street..." she snickered, causing Eddie to laugh despite his growing frustration. "Or... I saw a nice park down the road..." she giggled, causing Eddie to pull her back and smile.

"I'm serious," he simmered in his amusement and tried to find her eyes in the sheet of darkness that consumed them. "The cold helped before..." his eyes fell to their laps before they shot back up to her face. "But you're warming part of me up that shouldn't be warmed up, Clever One... And it's late..."

"Theeen what? We go to your place another day or I sneak you in wheeen Brontë is working and thennn what?" she drew out drearily. "I need Miss Vodka or else I'm no fun. The... the uh...the..." she twirled her finger by her temple and giggled. "The voices... the uh, you know, the angels..."

"Uh-huh," Eddie drew out sarcastically as he watched her shadow dance with intoxication and innocent humor.

"Yeah," she agreed. "They have voices up here," she pointed to her skull but Eddie was struggling to see it. "So... just let my demons play with yours right now..." she pouted, leaning down and almost touching the tip of her nose to his.

"Those angels help you make smart decisions," he countered enthusiastically, taking the bottle she had shoved into the cup holder between the seats and tossed it out the door.

"Hey..." she frowned, slumping her shoulders and being so upset with the removal of her drink that Eddie was able to peel her body off of his and help her into the passenger seat.

"You aren't your angels, Seagrave," Eddie shifted in his seat and tried to hide the semi Lennon left in her wake. "You aren't your demons either," he explained. "This might be a good decision... It might be a bad one... But I don't want you regretting anything when your head clears up. I don't want you making this kind of decision without the input of those angels," he plugged the keys of the van into the ignition and turned to her.

"Seatbelt."

"Bore," she scrunched up her face and curled into herself for warmth and comfort.

"Oof," he tilted his head playfully and leaned over to buckle her in himself. "Your demons are sore losers."

"I don't think they lost..." she smiled lazily, shifting her gaze over to him and leering down at his lap.

He felt her staring and grew uncomfortable with having his frustration on display. "Fuck off," he smiled, pulling the van into drive and shifting in his seat again.

Lennon giggled deliriously before pressing her forehead to the window and closing her eyes as the heat from Eddie's van started circulating. "You reeeally had to pull the consent card, huh?" she drew out with a drunken smile and a drowsy tone in her voice.

Eddie made it out of the community before he turned to Lennon and felt the corners of his lips turn upward when he saw her slumped over with a soft smile clinging to her lips. "What 'consent card'?" Eddie asked incredulously.

"You know..." she pulled herself off the window to softly punch Eddie's shoulder. "The card that the good guy pulls in all the movies... The 'I wanna fuck but I don't wanna take advantage of you when your drrrunk' card," she pouted and peeled her eyes open to watch Eddie as he drove her home. "I can't take advantage of your lack of... taking advantage..."

"What?" he laughed with a puzzled look on his face. "You're not making any sense, sweetheart," he chuckled and turned onto the main road rather quickly since it was late and hardly any cars occupied the icy streets.

"You're not real..." she yawned.

"Oh really?" Eddie countered sarcastically.

Lennon hummed and nodded her head matter-of-factly. "I made you up," she popped the 'p' and pulled her knee towards her chest as she continued to watch how Eddie watched the roads with a careful eye. "Men this perfect don't exist in the real wooorld," she cringed and turned away.

"Trust me" Eddie's tone turned doubtful and dreary. "I am not perfect," he scoffed in disbelief.

"That's not true," she called out defensively. "You have... You have these friends," she waved her hand and furrowed her brows with a look of envy. "You have those guys... and the little ones... The little Hellfires..."

Eddie chuckled. He glanced over and saw how passionate Lennon was about the subject and the nickname she gave Will, Mike, and Dustin was too adorable not to smile upon.

"You all love each other..." she explained. "And you have this super cool, super hot bad-boy thing going on," she waved her hand around his body like she was presenting him as evidence.

Eddie played with the edges of his teeth as he listened to her presentation and felt his cheeks begin to ache after trying not to smile for so long.

"But you aren't a bad boy... You're this crazy, cute, hot, caring... funny...creative... intelllligent man who doesn't give himself enough credittt... And you don't reeealize how adorable you are which makes you ten times more attractive."

"Don't forget the drugs," he reminded her, trying to prove a point that he was very human and very real and very imperfect.

"Right!" she exclaimed excitedly which caused Eddie to laugh curiously at her estranged sense of humor. "And you've got this sad," she moaned, "depressing," she continued to deepen her voice as she described his seemingly bad traits, "soul-torturingly tragic backstory that keeps you grounded... Fuck," she cursed and fell back in her seat with respect. "I don't blame you for using drugs after the shit you've gone through," she watched Eddie glance over nervously.

She was drunk, but she noticed his worried stare and felt obligated to explain herself. "You use drugs to cope with the loss of your mom... and Warren."

The sound of his name being said out loud caused Eddie's heart to drop.

It wasn't entirely horrible, but he didn't expect her to mention his dead friend. He didn't get mad though. She was talking about his pain and mentioned his friend like she knew him personally, but he wasn't mad.

He couldn't be upset because she paid attention. He couldn't be mad that she listened. He only mentioned Warren once so he was surprised she remembered him so vividly. She was drunk too, so he couldn't hold her very accountable for being so blunt. And she cared. She referred to him in a caring manner. She wasn't picking him apart or talking badly of the boy, she was actually showing her condolences and sympathy even though it didn't quite sound that way at first.

"That doesn't make you a bad guy, Eddie," she sighed. "It means you care... It means you're trying... So, like I said," she quickly noticed the melancholy tone and diverted the conversation to a more uplifting tone. "You're too perfect to be real..."

Eddie didn't respond. Her speech was bittersweet to respond.

She said nice things but he didn't realize how much she deducted about him. He didn't realize she knew so much about him in the few months they'd known each other.

It was effortless how she recalled all that and had explanations for every indent and chip he had in his person. She understood him and that scared the shit out of him.

"You uhm..." she closed her eyes and continued to talk despite the terse tension coming from Eddie as the realization struck him. "And you have this surprisingly soft hair and these big, endearing, brown eyes that feel like you can just fall in and get lost forever if you stare for too long."

She opened her eyes and saw him staring at the open road with furrowed brows and a soft smile on his face like what she had to say was heartwarming but also slightly confusing.

He didn't think there was anything special about his very bland colorings. His hair and eyes were a dull brown. Nobody ever said their favorite color was brown and they seemed less intricate and beautiful than those with lighter-colored eyes. He never thought something so dull could be seen as something so ravishing.

But Lennon begged to differ.

Her way with words made it impossible not to believe her. She said it so efficiently and she was drunk. She didn't have a filter which meant what she was saying had to be true. She couldn't help herself. She was beautiful; everything about her: her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her dark sense of humor, her manic behavior, her way with words, her appreciation, her self-deprecating ways of nature, everything.

He loved how she loved and he loved how she made the world seem like this endlessly invigorating place to be. She had a deep appreciation for the things people often overlooked and she considered everyone and everything, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. She looked to the minorities and didn't judge people for having different opinions or for being different.