𝚆𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜

𝙻𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚞𝚜.

𝙰𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛, 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚎.

𝙳𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎, 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚎,

𝚆𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜.

𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝙸 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘

'𝙲𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚛𝚊𝚣𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎 𝚜𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝙶𝚘𝚍 𝚠𝚎'𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗,

𝙽𝚘, 𝚠𝚎'𝚟𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚖𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚎 𝚐𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔.

Lennon, Brontë, Steve, and Dustin spent the entire weekend together building bonfires in the backyard, getting drunk, and singing to MTV. They bonded over that short period and when Steve had to drive Dustin home on Sunday, everyone was sad.

The house immediately became like a graveyard and it reminded Lennon too much of the house she left in Vermont. It was loud and boisterous and full of fun and laughter only to be left with rattled bones and a creaky foundation. The house used to feel lively when her mother came home every day from nursing school with stories about her day and the messy playing of Rion's guitar after dinner never failed to make her smile. But when they died, the house immediately felt like a prison; like a deathly reminder of what once used to be. It just prompted Lennon to be alone, that her family was gone; dead.

The lake house began to feel the same way except she had to keep telling herself that nobody died and that she was just overreacting.

Come Monday, everybody seemed to be in good spirits. Once she was exposed to a crowd of people, Lennon felt better than before. She couldn't tell if she had grown a tolerance for copious amounts of people or if she was actually beginning to like it, but she preferred to be at school than she did to be at home.

After that weekend, she didn't like the silence of it. She didn't want to be alone but she didn't want to be around a bunch of people she didn't like either. However, it was better this way. It was better to be with people she despised than to be with no one at all.

As soon as she arrived, she wanted to find Eddie more than anything. She needed to apologize about the Hideout. She needed to tell him that she didn't want to leave in the middle of his set but Brontë gave her no other choice. She wanted to tell him how good he was but she didn't know how she was going to do that with so many people around.

It didn't take long for Steve, Heather, Rebecca, and Jason to come over to her and invite her to the Christmas party Heather was hosting on Saturday.

She wasn't one for parties but the girl she was trying to be would. So, she said she'd be there.

Heather smiled gleefully. "Oh my gosh. I am so excited to see you there, you have no idea," she sighed a breath of relief.

"What?" Lennon giggled. "Why?" she asked incredulously.

"Lenny," she shot back playfully, lowering her head and staring back at Lennon from under the brush of her eyelashes.

"First off," she stared in disbelief. "You're cooler than anybody here at Hawkins and you literally brighten up everybody's day just by showing up..." Heather chuckled.

"Secondly, guys will be chasing tail if you come because... look at you. You're hot." Heather was hyping her up but for some reason, Lennon didn't feel the effects of her words in the way she meant them. It was something about her tone that felt overused and almost mimicked.

"Well, that's very kind of you," she replied with a soft smile.

"It's true!" she insisted cheerfully. "And it's nothing major, just some friends and lots of Christmas spirit," she smiled.

The bell rang and the group of people around her started moving down the hall to get to class.

"If you want to invite people, please do. The more the merrier!" she exclaimed joyously as she took a step back. "Are you bringing Billy or should I invite himself?"

Lennon didn't respond and Heather took that as a moment she might have overstepped.

"Or not..." she promised. "If you don't want me to, I won't invite him in case something happened between you two-"

"No," she responded quickly, smiling sympathetically to show that there was nothing wrong with what she said. "No, we're all good," she informed her. "You should... You should invite him," she nodded affirmingly.

"You sure?" Heather asked once more, taking another step back to move closer to her class.

"Yeah," Lennon promised. "I'll see you in P.E," she waved the girl off and hurried to class herself.

By second period, she was still thinking about the party; not because she was excited, but because she didn't want to go. The only way she could go and be happy about it was if she managed to go with someone she liked and that number of people was very limited.

The truth was finally taking its toll on her.

She was lonely.

Not in the sense that she was alone because she wasn't. She had made a life for herself where she wouldn't be alone but she was still lonely.

The only person she felt like she could be herself around was Eddie. She didn't have to pretend to be someone she wasn't because he already knew; he accepted her.

She wanted it back. She wanted him back.

Come lunch, she sat with Nancy, Fred, Jonathan, and Max. She was sitting at the head of the table and Nancy was sandwiched between the two boys on one side of her, leaving Max on her own to face Jonathan.

They were all talking about finals, papers, and the championship game, but Nancy was still hanging onto a personal project of hers which she was reeling Fred into helping her with. Lennon listened keenly as she picked at some green beans the lunch lady plopped onto her tray.

Nancy had a lead on some mysterious animal sacrifices found all around town. Campers, hikers, runners, and even homeowners who lived in wooded areas all reported some form of animal mutilation. Rabbits, birds, tortoises, cats, squirrels, anything small enough to hold in their hands. They were all gutted and strung up like decoration but some of their organs were missing.

Jonathan interviewed a woman only a few miles out of town to get more intel and the photos Nancy managed to snag from the police station were grim. Guts and blood and chunks of tri- colored fur was all Lennon managed to catch but it was more than enough.

"That horrible." She cringed. Lennon pulled Max from her daydream and only then did she notice the brutal images Jonathan and Nancy had

splayed out between them

and their lunches.

"Ugh. How are you guts still eating?" Max too shot the pair a look of utter disgust.

"Sorry," Nancy apologized and scooped all their images into one pile.

"We just got them all developed today," Jonathan added. "The red room's been a bit busy with final projects and all."

Max, Jonathan, and Nancy began to converse about finals and the winter game came up amid their mindless small talk.

"I am not looking forward to that game..." Lennon sighed quietly, resting her head in her palm and giving up on lunch.

"Why not?" Nancy cooed sympathetically. "You've been practicing like crazy."

"Yeah, "Jonathan commented. "We

haven't seen you for weeks," he chuckled,

finishing bottle of water and moving onto

his orange.

Lennon gave a small smile. "Yeah... but they're's gonna be a lot of people there and I have no idea what to expect..."she trailed off.

"You're gonna do great." Max said in all earnest. "And even if you aren't, you're amazing at everything else and it was only a matter of time before we discovered your one and only

flaw."

Lennon tried at a smile but all she could think about was her life back home.

If only she knew...

Instinctually, her eyes raced toward the table all the dorky metal-heads sat at. The didn't realize it was a response to anxiety until she found Eddie skittishly adverting his gaze.

That's unusual...

Eddie was usually brazen and often wanted her to know he was watching.

So, why did he look and when she turned to him? Why did he act like he was caught staring at something he wasn't supposed to?

Instead as finding comfort in his brown stare, she

was left feeling more nervous then before. She kept staring at the side of his face, waiting for him to turn and meet her gaze, but he never did.

It was more than his fickle attention that unnerved her, it was his droopy stature

and downtrodden expression. He was relevently

quiet and less exuberant then usual once Lennon

actually paid attention to him.

He didn't seem happy. He definitely didn't seem like Eddie.

When the bell rang, she had to pretend like ner mind wasn't preoccupied by a certain wild-haired, metal-head senior, because Steve and Jason wanted to run laps around the gym

together.

She had to pretend like everything was fine when it was in fact, not fine.

She worried she might have said something wrong to have hurt him but she was more concerned about the look on his face and his eyes

didn't shine like they used to. His smile never

reached his eyes and the image couldn't be shaken from her mind.

By the end of the day, she had taken her English midterm and instead of walking outside like she normally did, she stopped in front of Mrs. Turner's desk and tried at a smile.

"I was wondering if I could transfer classes next semester," she told the woman after a few minutes it small talk. She asked why and wondered if there was something particularly bothersome about the class.

"No. I just don't feel challenged enough, is all," she lied.

She was actually comfortable with the class she had. Her motives spawned from something else.

"Ms. Whitaker teaches Advanced English 3 Honors if you're interested and I can talk to her if you want."

"I was thinking... maybe English 4 with Ms. O'Donnell?"

The teacher smiled uneasily. "English 4 builds on knowledge you learn on English 3, Miss Seagrave. Your brother tried doing the same thing but you need the credit to get your diploma and he failed the test so-"

"Let me take the final," she spoke hastily.

The teacher chuckled almost mockingly, obviously not believing Lennon could pass without the second half of the class. "You just took your midterm, hun. I don't think it's a good idea to stress over the final because you would have take it and pass before Friday."

"Could I occupy your lunch period on Wednesday? I noticed you have a free period afterward."

Lennon was smiling like the Cheshire Cat, grinning darkly as she both charmed and surprised Mrs. Turner. The teacher's smile faded and her eyes slowly closed into a peer. It was clear that she had planned to enjoy her free period that day but due to school policy, she had to oblige.

"Even if you do pass by some chance, you can't make up for the lost semester in English 4..." she tried buying herself freedom.

"Well I'll still be around next year so if that be the case, I'll be well-versed if I have to retake it," she corrected the teacher, smiling and thanking Mrs. Turner once she agreed.

She hurried outside and found Brontë already waiting for her, contesting the sidewalk out front with the basketball team crowded around him as he had his backside pressed to the trunk of his car.

Lennon quickly waved them away when she reminded her brother about the shift he was working in half an hour.

On the ride home, she asked about the English 3 final and earned herself a laugh in return.

"Lenny, that was like five years ago..." He continued to laugh.

"So, you don't remember it?"

"Oh, I remember it!" he cackled. "It was the only test I ever failed..."

"By the angels. Here we go," Lennon complained and rolled her eyes.

For the rest of the car ride, she gained the advice and insight she needed if she ignored her brother's self-dignified tone.

Despite the added stress, she was more worried about Eddie. She kept replaying the image in her head like a broken record.

She hoped to force proximity under innocent pretenses but she wanted a reason to see him now. Waiting until after winter break was far too long and she couldn't keep herself idle.

Come, Tuesday, she was beyond anxious about the championship game and her English final, but she wanted to see Eddie again. She would have practiced in the hymn if it weren't for his reflective and timid behavior the day before.

Instead of doing the rational thing and gone with the girls to practice, she was sitting with the team, waiting the empty table across the room, waiting for someone to occupy it.

The routine was for Eddie and his band mates to take their seats first and the freshmen would soon follow. However, they never showed.

Lennon was beyond worried now and instead of following Heather and Chrissy to their worship class, she stayed behind and ran up beside Dustin as he was leaving the cafeteria with Mike, Will, and Jane by his side.

"Dustin." She approached him with a smile and frightened both Will and Jane as she did so. "Hi."

He glanced over and stared incredulously. "Hey," he drew out suspiciously, finding her sudden hospitality odd.

"Hi," she repeated, briskly moving into what she wanted to ask him once her introduction was over. "How is everything?" she asked. "I uh... I noticed the group got smaller..." she drew out nonchalantly.

Dustin furrowed his brows quizzically. "Are you asking about Eddie?" he pronounced with confusion.

"No!" she laughed, trying to backpedal after realizing how transparent she was acting. "No," she repeated. "I was asking about you and... everyone."

Dustin stopped in his tracks and stared at her with a blank expression.

He was almost three inches shorter than her so he had his neck turned upward to meet her curious gaze. "So..." he trailed off in utter confusion. "You aren't asking about Eddie?"

Lennon scoffed "No."

Dustin analyzed her for another moment and continued to stare at her with a dumbfounded look on his face. "Right... I'm good..." he said unconvincingly before looking away and following his friends toward their next class.

"Cool..." Lennon responded redundantly. "That's cool. I was just checking... Wanted to make sure nothing happened with the uh... with your senior buddies..."

Dustin stopped again and leered. "You sure you're not asking for Eddie?"

"No. Why would I?" she tried deflecting. "Should I?" she asked almost too quickly as she tried to seem innocently curious.

"No..." Dustin continued to stare dubiously, not understanding how one weekend of bullshit fun could make her such a friendly person at school.

That's when he decided to submit to his disbelief and give her what he initially believe her to be after. "Eddie's been practicing in the music room all period. We're good... Are you?" Dustin accused placidly.

"Uh..." she chuckled nervously. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Dustin's shoulders slumped as he concluded his earlier suspicions. "Why do you keep answering questions with another question?" he hummed amusingly.

"I-"

"Good luck with that," Dustin responded sarcastically and disappeared around the corner.

Lennon couldn't tell if she offended him of it that was simply his way of hurrying to class. She did genuinely like the boy but perhaps she shouldn't have lied or used him to gain information on Eddie.

After her woodship class, she went to the phone outside and dialed for her brother like she always did. They went home but she needed to go back to the Hideout. She needed to make sure Eddie was okay and her previous knowledge about his drug habits weren't reassuring.

She didn't know where his head was and she definitely didn't know if he was using again. If she managed to catch him before he went on stage, she could weigh her odds then.

After all, it didn't really matter what others thought about him

She never believed peoples perceptions of him before, why should she start now?

"Can I come with you to work so we can go over some material?" she asked innocently, feeling a sense of safety behind her partial lie. She wanted to see Eddie, but she needed to be prepared for her English 3 final as well.

Brontë was eating before he planned to leave. He turned away from his pot of macaroni and cheese and looked at his sister like her words offended him in some way.

Is he gonna be there?" Brontë drew out like he had become tired of her games.

"Who?" She tried playing dumb but not overly so. "I know you're not still wrapped up on Eddie."

They began talking about her motives but miraculously, all Brontë's suspicions were erased, giving her the benefit of his doubt. He took a deep breath and told her not to take advantage of his kindness of his loyalty as they loaded into the car and arrived five hours before Eddie's set.

She took her notebook to the bar and began 'studying' for the final.

Tuesdays were slow so Brontë had plenty of time to go over the rules of gerunds and compound-adjectives and subjective-conjunctions and a bunch of other words that would mean absolute nothing after high school.

If it weren't for the suspicion that Brontë had photographic memory, he wouldn't be able to recall a single question on that test, no matter how taunting his failure may have been.

She took notes like she was in a lecture while Brontë tossed bottles of liquor into the air and wowed a few crowds throughout the evening but she still couldn't stop checking the doors. Every fifteen minutes she was looking up to the front entrance, then another fifteen minutes would pass and she was checking the back door to see if anyone was coming.

In between studying, they would laugh and joke as if they were just brother and sister, enjoying their time together. It was as if nothing happened at all.

No murders, no trials, no custody paperwork, no stress about Eddie, nothing. It was easy for them to slip back into that comfortable state of being. Lennon supposed he was the only person she never had to pretend with. Everything came so naturally: her love, her hate, everything. It was never forced and there was a sense of comfort in the fact she had nothing to lose with him. She could pretend to be any version of herself but she would always slip back into being authentic self.

He was her half brother and blood bound them, as well as a legal document until she turned eighteen. She could be as rotten as she wanted and he would still be stuck with her.

The cycle continued like that for the next few hours. They talked about the test, they bullied each other, they made comments about customers that weren't the nicest, and then Lennon was looking back at the doors again. Over and over again until the loop was finally broken.

"I'm going on break. I'll be back in twenty," Brontë tapped the table beside her notebook before Lennon called out to him.

"Why so long?"

He chuckled. "I've gotta check on someone real quick. Jess has an eye on you. If you need anything, let her know. I'll be back." He motioned toward a short, older lady with red box-dyed hair.

"Wait! You're just deserting me?" she scoffed.

A part of her was genuinely concerned and curious about his whereabouts but another, more tempting part of her was more interested in what she might be able to get up to in the meantime.

"I promise, you're safe. There's a phone there and Jess will be working all nice so you'll be fine. I swear I'll only be gone a second!" he motioned toward the black phone hanging off the wall by the front but he had run off before Lennon could keep asking questions.