《a letter for him · bokuaka》ix

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❝ congratulations! ❞

i remember

your enthusiasm coming out from you

as you ran up to me at the school hallway

telling me your so-called exciting news

❝ listen akaashi, i courted hayami and she said yes! ❞

❝ oh, really? that's great! congratulations bokuto! ❞

i couldn't do anything

other than plastering a fake smile

as my heart shattered into pieces

and the euphoria within me from seeing you decreases

the next few months arrived

we had lost contact,

due to graduation and going to college

and we were too damn busy,

chased our thesis, papers,

school, and future.

i remember ourselves

just nodding our heads in hallways when we see each other

of course, you along with her,

holding hands together.

i never cared much about it anymore.

then i remembered myself flying to U.S.A,

and the annoyance that i felt

when the same obnoxious buzz from my phone,

suddenly had pelt

do you still remember?

when you sent me a message?

i thought it was ridiculous

yet i felt it was miraculous

i thought you had forgotten me,

your bestfriend for years

you've never even said goodbye

didn't even lent a single tear

you know, i woke up one day

and suddenly i couldn't remember what i felt for you

i didn't thought of you,

and about what you've felt for me,

or even how you were doing in that day

i never felt the same butterflies in my stomach

and i never felt the cluttering mess inside my mind anymore

you were not in my mind anymore

i guess it is time for me now

it is time for me to close the door

of my heart

that you tore

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