❝ desensitized ❞

i remember

when i went home from the sleepover

i went home

without saying goodbye to anyone at all

nobody noticed,

aside from you

i remember

the annoying buzz of my phone

❝ bokuto, you called? ❞

what was that for, bokuto?

i remember your voice

so perturbed and quiet,

asking why i left,

before the sleepover officially ended.

felt like i almost tasted copper in my mouth

when i lied about myself being sick,

said i got a cold

when i actually never did.

remember when i joked about something?

and when i tried to celebrate about you getting hayami?

but you denied that it was nothing serious

god, how much of a liar can you be?

i remember myself

laughing when you asked

❝ ❞

well, i never thought,

you were trying to pull away my mask.

but still, i kept it on

as i laughed again

said again those words

❝ i was never jealous. ❞

as a part of me trying to abstain

from you

oh bokuto,

wasn't denying and lying a part of moving on?

♡