《a letter for him · bokuaka》iii

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❝ the fifth night of july : tuesday❞

remember?

when we had our first sleepover with our group of friends?

along with that girl that i didn't knew you were friends with in the first place,

i didn't care, except for the fact that she was the only girl within us,

since yukie and kaori declined, telling us they were too tired to deal with us.

a sleepover

you thought it was a chance to have it because your parents were on a five-day vacation,

remember when we had fun and chasing each other with melted chocolate?

melted chocolate, ha

an excuse to smear those on our exhausted but carefree faces.

we didn't care but just chase each other and our friends like mad dogs throughout the yard.

remember when we chased our friends with water balloons in the middle of the night?

we ran and ran as if we're pursuing our youth

remember when we caught them too?

you even hurt that one girl from our group because some water got into her right eye,

causing us to stop our little game

causing us to clean up for ourselves

causing us to change into our own pyjamas

but we didn't stop there

we drank cans and cans of beers that you purchased using your fake i.d,

acting as if we were in our twenties.

remember?

when we played spin the bottle?

remember when it landed on me?

and when konoha asked me?

❝ akaashi, truth or dare? ❞

obviously bokuto, i said, "dare"

because i simply thought i could do anything

i would willingly do anything

make me dance, make me sing, make you guys laugh

make me do any embarrassing things

i would do anything

anything

but the truth

please, not the truth

as i begged God

remember?

when konoha drunkenly smirked, then spoke the sentences i feared most?

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❝ well, well, well, akaashi. why not i dare you to say out loud your crush's name? ❞

you

you stared at me with such confusion, yet with interest.

of course you never knew who i liked,

i never even mentioned it to you,

and you never asked, so why would i?

what was the purpose of it anyway?

i do remember

when yukie's name left out heavily from my chapped lips,

but not a trace of regret following it.

❝ yukie. yukie shirofuku. ❞

everyone clapped, slapping their hands into my back,

saying i should hit her up, take her as my girlfriend.

i do remember you too

laughing with them, even nodding your head with approval.

even ruffling my hair in such a drunken manner.

well, guess what, bokuto?

i lied.

i lied about having a crush on yukie,

because it was you that i liked for a long, long time.

it was you

always been you.

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