Another big thank you to HamnahKhan for the beautiful cover! C:

"Come on Ruby, you know you want the crisps." Imogen waves the bowl of cheesy puffs in front of me as I try to focus on the exam question I'm attempting.

"Nope," I mutter, trying hard to get this paper finished and not get distracted by the snack in front of me (which Imogen knows is my favourite). But, after this question revision will be done for the night. With exams only a week away Imogen and I decided to get together to study in my living room.

She gave up fifteen minutes ago and is now luring me to do the same.

I scrawl an illegible answer before closing the paper and chucking it behind me.

"Finally!" Imogen sighs. I notice she looks a little downcast as she sets down the bowl in front of her. "God, I'm going to flop Geography."

I shake my head fervently and nudge her shoulder with mine. "No you won't, not after how bloody hard you've worked," I assure her. "And don't forget, you're amazing at French and English, you're going to smash those."

Imogen gives a small smile. "Ah, merci mon petit gemme."

She then sprawl herself across the carpet to reach for her bag. "Soooo," she says, "what should we watch? Changing Tatum as a hot stripper or Channing Tatum as a hot undercover student?" she asks pulling out two DVDs.

Laughing, I shrug. "Whatever you want."

Imogen holds 21 Jump Street to her chest. "This one fulfils all my fantasies."

Soon, underneath a heap of blankets, we're nestled into the sofa, ready to do nothing for the rest of the evening.

Just as Imogen finishes skipping past all the opening promos for other films, my phone begins to vibrate, its loud ring tone making the both of us jump. Picking it up, I'm surprised to see 'Luke' flashing up on the screen.

My eyebrows rise in surprise, he never calls. The most conversation I've had with him on my phone involves short text messages that trail off on his behalf.

I tap the green answer button. "Hey?"

"Ruuuuuby!" Luke's voice exclaims at the other end. My mouth curls up in a surprised smile. He's drunk. "Ruuuby," he says again, "listen, you needtopiiiissoff Ed, fuck of mate. I will get you. Sorry about that. Rubes, you need to get here right NOW. It'ss emergency."

I hold the phone away from my ear at how loudly he yells the last word. In the background I can hear the muffled, alarmingly chaotic cacophony of music, uproarious hollering and yelling. It sounds pretty wild.

"I'm not really feeling up to a party mate," I say, shaking my head at Imogen who looks at me questioningly.

'Party?' she mouths. A spark of excitement glints in her eyes, even though she looks as comfortable as me in her pyjamas and blankets.

I shake my head even more vigorously at her as Luke goes, "Nooo," on the other end. "Not like that," he says, "I mean I need YOU." I'm starting to wonder if he's going to end every sentence sounding like a foghorn.

"What?" I ask. His words sound ominously like a booty call.

"It's Levi," Luke says, sounding a little more serious now. "Just get here. Weee are at, lemmejusscheck-" He stops speaking as he leaves the phone to yell around the room to ask whose house he's at so loudly that even Imogen hears.

"Blimey." She looks at me, her face a mixture of amusement and disbelief. "He's wasted."

I don't manage to smile back. When I heard Luke say Levi's name I immediately felt a tug of worry. Ever since he received the phone call a few days ago he's kind of fallen apart. He comes to school looking like he's not slept, his clothes and hair are always crumpled and he looks unendingly exhausted and troubled. Whenever any of us ask what's up he just shrugs it off and carries on with whatever he's doing as though he hadn't heard.

"I'm back!" Luke cries, "We're at Charlie's. Charlie Waters'. Get here soon." And with that he hangs up.

"So," Imogen says, getting up. "Are we going?"

"Yeah." I reply. "But only for five minutes, just to see if Levi's alright."

Imogen grins. "One beer, one song and one dance is good enough for me," she says brightly.

Fifteen minutes later, when I'm out of my pyjamas, I'm knocking at Charlie Waters' front door after wading through his front lawn which is littered with people and plastic cups. It's evident that this party has gone completely out of control. Boys and girls I don't even recognise are milling around, looking way too off their heads and leery for my liking.

When no one answers and I try knocking again before I find the door's open away. Walking in, I see it's even more chaotic inside than it is out.

"Jesus," Imogen breathes, her head turning to take everything in.

In the living room, I immediately spot Luke chugging a keg of beer as a group around him cheer him on. It's times like this I remember he's popular. Given his surly, serious nature he could've easily been just one of the guys just watching. But his weird charm and god knows what else sees that he's one whose back all the guys are thumping as they chant his name.

I remember how he told me he barely goes to parties but I'm guessing when he does (and Natalia's not here with someone else) he's a riot.

"Ruby you're hereee," Luke exclaims when he sees me, he wipes his hand across his chin where he's dribbled some beer. Nice. Unsurprisingly, most of his steps are stumbling. "Sorry tuh have dragged you over but it's important."

He motions to the other end of the room where I see spot Levi leaning against the wall in a corner. When I walk over I notice he's holding a bottle and his phone which he's staring intently at, as though he's waiting for something.

Levi looks up. His downcast expression brightens a little with a crooked smile. "Ruby," he says. Even this one word is heavy and slow and I realise he's probably as far gone as Luke. Yet his voice doesn't sound as dejected as his expression, like he's pleased at seeing me here.

I notice his eyes are a little red, from drinking or crying I don't know. Levi must realise I've noticed because then he rubs his hand across his eyes, as if to brush it away.

"Are you ok?" Imogen gently asks beside me

"I'M fine." A frown tugging Levi's lips downward. "World's jus' fulla bastards and my Mum happenstobe in love with one," he says before taking a long drink. He looks ahead with a dark expression before sighing. He looks back at me with that barely there smile. "So whatta you doing here?"

I swallow. "Luke called about you."

Levi rolls his eyes. "I'm fine! He needstuh stop worrying. Y'know what? I'm gonna have a word with him," he declares before trying to take a step forward, but in doing so he just ends up stumbling back, falling into the wall a little.

I gently ease the bottle from his fingertips and place it into the windowsill beside him.

"Do you want to go home?" I ask quietly.

Levi's eyes darken and he stares past my shoulder with a frown. "Why should I go home?"

I shrug, trying my best to keep everything nonchalant so I can convince him to come with me. "Just seems like you should call it a night. We could walk there together."

At this Levi smiles wistfully. "You already know I'd go anywhere with you."

The way his words stumble remind me that he's drunk but don't fail to make my heartbeat falter in my chest. Just when I'm about to suggest we head out the front door, Imogen nudges my shoulder.

"Someone has bought in a snow sled. And they're sliding down the stairs," she says giddily. "It's crazy here."

"You stay," I say, noticing how excited she looks. After all this studying, I figure she'd more than love a night out.

"I love you." Imogen grins, giving me a quick hug before someone calls her name and she rushes off.

I stretch out a hand towards Levi. He reaches forward and wraps his fingers around mine, his grip warm and tight, like he's trying hard holding on.

We leave the living room and push our way through the hall before finally reaching the front door. We're down the front porch and just about to the leave through the gate when I hear someone call my name.

Turning around, my eyes widen when I see Ryan standing in front of me. In the dim glow of the moonlight, he looks just as bright and carefree as everyone else at this party. I feel a rush of relief when he smiles at me. It's warm and genuine and this time I know he's forgiven me.

Ryan hands over a jacket to Levi, who for a second looks confused before realising it's his. "Thanks," he says, sounding just as surprised as I would've felt it hadn't been for our conversation a few weeks back. Ryan shrugs, his hand reaching up to sift through his black hair.

"I figured you wouldn't want to forget it," he says. A quiet second passes by as we all look at each other. He then nods at the both of us. "Well, see you guys about."

"See you," I say, my voice catching as a familiar sensation of hope sits in my chest whenever I'm around him. I've never forgotten how much I love having him as a friend and whenever I see him I remember how much I miss it.

Ryan turns around and heads back up the lawn and into Charlie's house.

"He's nice," Levi says quietly, watching him go.

I nod. "Yeah, he is."

Levi pushes his hand into his pocket, pausing a moment before fishing out his keys. "My car's just here," he mumbles before passing them to me. Imogen and I walked here and I figure driving Levi home would be way better than staggering all the way there.

I'm so busy getting him into the car that it's only when we're in it I realise it'll only be the second time I'm driving on my own. I got my licence last month and whenever I'm in front of the wheel my insides always flutter with nervousness.

Taking a deep breath, I turn the key and we drive away from Charlie's house. The drive to his house is quiet; neither of us say anything as Levi stares ahead at the upcoming road before us.

After a short while, I arrive outside his house, deciding to park on the curb than on his drive. We sit in the car, quiet for a moment as the muffled rumble of the engine dies.

Hesitant, I turn towards him. "What's happened?"

Levi shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. "You don't want to know."

"I do," I say. I want to tell him that I hate seeing him like this. It breaks my heart watching him fall apart so quickly and suddenly and having no idea why.

Levi shrugs, even now trying to act nonchalant as he smiles weakly. "David's left."

David. Levi's mum's partner. The man who's an absolute dick, to say the least. "Isn't that... isn't that good?" I ask tentatively.

Levi shakes his head. "You don't want to know," he says quietly again. His brown eyes look at my so sadly that it breaks my heart.

Unbuckling my seatbelt, I reach forward to wrap my arms around him, pulling him to close to me in a hug. This surprises the both of us since we know I'm not a hugging kind of person, but after a second of being still, Levi hugs me tightly back, burying his face into the crook of my neck.

"Cranberries," he mumbles into my hair.

He's quiet for a moment and I think he's fallen asleep when he whispers, "I feel so bloody... lost. I don't know what to feel when I think about Dad, when I think about Mum... when I think about us."

Us.

I feel my body still in his arms. I don't know quite what to say. Us. I'm not even sure about us.

Levi pulls a little away from me before leaning his head close towards mine. The way he still talks a little slowly has me reminding myself again and again that he's not sober but that doesn't stop my pulse from picking up and racing when he reaches forward to clasp my fingers in his.

Placing my hand against his chest, Levi looks at me, looking sad and serious and beautiful all at once. Underneath my palm, his heart is thudding fast. "That's what it's like when I'm around you. All the time."

My own heart's beating so hard against my ribs, it's as though it's trying to escape.

I try to tell myself that with everything that's happening and how broken he feels, Levi doesn't know what he's saying, that he's only drunk. I haven't had anything to drink and I don't know what to say.

Even when I'm trying to rationalise everything, there's something deep in my chest that can't help but lift at the idea that we both feel the same way.

I stay quiet for too long. Levi takes my silence for an answer that I hate myself for finding it so hard to say.

He draws back, giving me a sad smile. "I should probably go home."

I just nod, like an idiot. Tell him, a voice urges at the back of my head, tell him how you feel.

I swallow and all I can manage is staying silent.

Together, we get out of the car and walk to his doorstep. His street seems deathly quiet, there's no one outside, there aren't even any cars on the road. It's all still and silent, as though it's a second out of sync from everything else.

After hesitating a moment, Levi rings the doorbell. Well, to be honest he presses the living daylights out of it. From inside you can hear the long, high ring and I'm about to shove his hand away from button when the door suddenly swings open, revealing a woman who looks both agitated and pissed off at once.

"What in God's name do you think-" she stops short when she sees Levi staring back at her. I blink at her distinct American accent. I think she's from New York.

"You're still here," Levi says in a dull voice.

The woman's eyes fill.

The first thing you notice about her is that she's big, and that's not a comment about her weight. She's tall and broad and looks strong in a way that I can only describe as muscular. But among all that there's also an undeniable softness about her facial features. About the way wisps of brown hair escapes from her bun and the way her eyes peer sadly back at the boy standing next to me. Eyes that look familiar. Like honey and autumn leaves.

Levi's eyes.

My breath stutters when I realise that she must be a relative, at least an aunt or cousin or something.

Levi doesn't say anything else. He gives me one last glance and a half-hearted smile before walking past the woman into the hallway and up the stairs.

That's when I notice the broken furniture strewn about before the door. A hat stand lies wrecked on the floor, vases are smashed and pictures have been ripped off the wall.

My heart twists painfully in fear as I wonder what the hell's happened.

When I look back at the lady standing in the doorway she stares at me in a way that doesn't tell me to mind my own business. Instead it asks me to ignore what I've just seen, to just leave it.

I do.

"Thank you for bringing him home," she finally says, a hand reaching up to the doorknob. Her voice is weary and tired. "We appreciate it."

I nod, taking a step back off the doorstep. "It's alright."

She musters a small, warm smile before retreating back into the hallway and closing the door.

Standing outside it for a few moments, I listen to the sound of glass and whatever else being swept up and the thuds and movement of furniture being rearranged.

My heart beats fast and thick as I stare at the closed door.

What's happened?

You don't want to know.

After seeing the state Levi's got himself into, the state of his home and family, there's nothing I want to find out more.