The growing tightness in my chest forces my eyes open. Clutching a sweaty hand against my heart, I quickly sit up, dropping my head against the headboard while I struggle for breath. I realise what's happening when my trembling fingers grasp my pyjama shirt.

There's a familiar and horrible sensation in my chest as my heart beats erratically. It feels as though someone's thumping their fists on a drum, but with each strike they don't quite manage to hit the same place, making every beat irregular and painful.

My eyes search though the inky dark bedroom to find something to focus on and they find a glittering, small glass elephant sitting on my bookshelf. It's oddly calming. Keeping my gaze fixed on it, I think of the next step Mr Hibbert always advises me to do whenever a panic attack hits.

Struggling, I try to slow my breathing, focusing on not breathing too quickly. Sliding down the headboard slightly, I lean my head back and look at my ceiling that's scattered with glow-in-the-dark stars. The pain in my chest finally begins to ease.

After inhaling deeply, I glance towards my alarm clock on the bedside drawers next to me. 4:02 A.M. As I sit staring at the neon-blue digital numbers, I try and think of what I'd dreamt of that had made me lose it. Blurred images of hospital rooms and decaying gravestones begin to piece together in my mind and as soon as they do, my insides tighten again.

I stop trying to remember.

Instead, I sink back down onto my pillows. My gaze drifts back the dimly glowing starry ceiling. I think of last week and Levi and I looking up at the Big Dipper. I think of his hand in mine.

My breathing eases a little. Trying to thinking only of that starry sky and nothing else, I convince myself that my dreams had been nothing. It was just because of exam stress. If I go to sleep, I'll be able to think more clearly in the morning.

I close my eyes and hear the grass softly rustling in the night breeze, I feel Levi's warm fingers. There's the dizzying, sinking moment between being awake and teetering towards sleep. And then there is nothing as I finally fall back asleep with confusing dreams of graveyards and constellations drifting through my mind.

* * *

The sun is streaming brightly through the curtains- soaking everything in midday light. I shield my eyes away from the light, blinking and surprised at how I managed to fall into such a deep sleep, especially after a panic attack.

I'm about to get out of bed when the door bursts open and Evie comes running in, a little blur of red and blonde. Without warning, she leaps onto my bed, landing right on me.

With an oof, I land back on my pillows as she hums merrily. I notice she's got what looks like chocolate spread on her red pyjama top.

"You seem to be in a good mood," I say, sounding slightly winded.

Evie gives me a wide grin that I would have described as toothy had it not been for the fact that a good few of her teeth were missing. The Tooth Fairy has definitely become her new best friend.

She points to the window while bouncing around excitedly. "There's a boy outside for you!"

My eyebrows furrow. "A boy? Who?" Secretly, I have a feeling who it is and it both confuses me and has my heart beating a little faster in my chest.

Evie shakes her head, her little shoulders rising up in a shrug. "He's nice."

"Oh, he's called Nice?" I grin when she giggles, it's a colourful, mischievous noise.

"No!" she cries before sliding off the bed and running to the bedroom door. "He's outside and Mum says to come to the kitchen."

Evie then pauses by my doorhandle before turning back to me. "There's pancakes," she then adds, as if to further tempt me into coming downstairs. And then she's a rush of streaming bed-hair and colour once more as she opens the door and runs down the stairs.

The next ten minutes are spent hastily getting ready before also running downstairs to the smell of warm pancakes and chocolate sauce. I only pay the breakfast a few seconds' attention though, my mind's too busy a rush of thoughts over what and why Levi is doing here.

Mum beams at me when she sees me. "There's a surprise waiting for you outside on the porch."

I raise my eyebrows at Mum referring to Levi as a 'surprise'. My own surprise and bemusement deepens when she leans in to give me a hug and whispers, "Just enjoy yourself today, honey."

When she lets me go I'm thrust a plastic bag full of pancakes, a water bottle and my bag. Then I'm being ushered towards the door and the next thing I know I'm pushed outside onto the front lawn.

I'm bemusedly looking towards the closed red door with still no clue about what's going on when I hear his voice. "Hello, Ruby."

I turn and see Levi leaning against his car in the driveway. Even though we're in the middle of spring, he looks like the perfect definition of summer. His light brown hair is mused up by a pair of sunglasses he's wearing on his head and the smile on his face fills his eyes with a light that could rival the sun.

"Levi," I say, surprised at how he's really here and the way he says my name. It makes my skin heat. "What are you doing here?"

"Well," Levi says, crossing his arms as he observes me. "It's a Sunday."

"Right," I say, folding my arms too. The corners of my mouth crinkle in a smile I'm not willing to escape just yet. "And that's a reason because..?"

"Sundays are our thing," he says, shrugging. "Last Sunday we saw the Big Dipper, this Sunday I'm inviting you to come on the road with me."

"Go on the road?" This unexpected, and admittedly exciting, prospect of going travelling to goodness knows where with Levi leaves me unable to say much more.

Levi nods as he gestures towards his car. "Wherever you want," he says. His smile turns into a grin as I continually to look at him confusedly.

"Come on, Bug, it'll be more fun than whatever sad, sensible thing you've got planned," he says with an amused glint in his eye.

I scowl at him.

Lev raises an eyebrow in response. I have to admit, his offer's ridiculously tempting, which is pretty easy since it's only competition is a day of vague plans of studying. Levi's eyes glimmer brightly as he rests on the hood of his car, arms folded and keys dangling from his hand.

"Anywhere you want," he repeats before pausing. "Well, anywhere you want, in England."

"Really?" I pretend to look disappointed. "Is Vegas out of question then?"

Levi laughs before pretending to look appalled. "Mr Morris would have a heart attack if he heard that," he says. He then looks at me expectantly. "So... what do you say?"

With his arms crossed, eyebrows raised, and the corner of his mouth kicked up in an heart-fluttering smile, Levi waits for a real answer.

I look towards the clear sky before pretending to sigh in defeat, despite the fact that there's already a huge smile spreading across my face.

"Alright," I finally say. I don't even care how easily the word slips from my lips as it leaves in a rush of exhilaration. I feel excited for the first time in weeks. "Let's go."

Levi's car is rushing through the winding and curving roads of the countryside. Trees are a blur of green, clouds a hurtling stream of white, and for the first time in ages- I feel truly alive. The windows are rolled down and my whips about my face as I sink further down into my seat, content with feeling the sun's heavy yellow glow settle on my face.

A song that I've never heard before blares from the radio, it sings about endless summers, being young and free, and god, it's loud, wild and brilliant. Levi sings along- his voice is terrible but his enthusiasm is undeniably adorable. When he nudges me to join in I unexpectedly find myself joining in instead of shaking my head. I don't even sing properly, I'm far too entertained listening to him get the lyrics wrong again and again, as though he's decided he likes his own version better.

I don't even know where it is that we're going. When Levi asked where we should go, all I could do was shrug. My mind was as empty as it is when someone asks you about your favourite band- as hard as I tried to think nothing came to mind. I realise I don't even care where we're going, I'm just how happy to be sitting here, beside him, on our way away from heart ache and misery.

"There's this nice marketplace a few towns over," Levi says, once the song finishes. "How about we head there?"

"That sounds perfect." I grin. It occurs to me how ever since I've been in his car I haven't been able to stop smiling, whether it's a full-blown Cheshire cat beam or a small grin, the corner of my lips can't seem to stop turning upwards.

When we come to a temporary stop behind a large truck that's letting another car go by, Levi looks over at me. As his eyes roam over my face, they brighten. His mouth curls up in a soft smile as he continues to sit at the steering wheel, even though the truck's moved on.

He continues to stare at me in such a way that has me rapidly turning redder and more flustered. "What?" I ask, a hand drifting up to touch my face just in case I haven't realised some food or something was smudged there.

Levi blinks, like he's just tripped out of a stupor. He turns back to the windshield and resumes driving, his warm eyes seem distracted and his breath has shortened a little. "Nothing." He shrugs indifferently. A few beats of silence go by before he chances a glance at me again.

"Bloody hell," he mutters breathlessly, shaking his head. This time I feel like finding a mirror just to make sure I've got nothing on my face or I haven't grown some massive wart on my nose.

"Really, what?"

"It's nothing," Levi quickly replies. He grins slightly when I glare at him, even though he can't see me I'm sure he can sense it. Then he adds: "Except..."

"Except..?"

"Except your hair kind of looks like it's on fire."

"What?" I gasp; the comment catching me off guard. Despite all reason and the fact that it most certainly doesn't feel like I'm on fire, my fingers tentatively brush my hair as though I'm sure to find ashes and smoke.

Levi chuckles as he makes a turning. The road becomes less narrow, the greenery now less dense. "I mean when it's caught up in the sun like that, you're hair looks like it's in flames," he says.

My face feels like it's in flames as I stare at him, silent.

Levi's gaze firmly remains on the road ahead of him and I notice the way he seems a little abashed as his cheeks are ever so slightly tinged with some colour. Paired with his words, it makes me want to ask him to pull over so I can sift my fingers through his own coffee coloured hair and kiss the life out of him.

Instead I whisper a breathless thanks as I glance down at my clasped hands, wishing I did have that extra bit of courage. I feel like somehow I should repay the compliment and tell him something.

And then I find myself saying it, admitting one of the things I've found beautiful about him for so long: "You have brilliant eyes." As soon as the words tumble out of my mouth, I feel my stomach tighten in apprehension.

Levi smiles, it's a textbook combination of amusement and something teasing. "Why thank you, Bug."

To try and disguise how I'm about to groan at my awkwardness, I continue on in a rush of words. "People always say I have my mum's eyes, all the women in her side of the family do. So does my sister, she has blue eyes I mean. It's a trait, I guess," I say before adding, "What about you?"

Levi's quiet for a moment as his bright expression dims. I feel my heart sink.

"Well." He hesitates. "Apparently I have my dad's eyes."

I feel a stomach-tightening mix of surprise and guilt when I realise he's talking about him. I remember being in Year One and learning that his father had died, so all of us had to be supportive- a word that needed to be explained to half of us. All through most of primary school, Levi had been a boy who kept to himself, who didn't really talk to anyone. Rare days like 'Bring your Parents into School Day' would see him lose it with both his behaviour and control.

But then once he'd arrived at secondary, things changed- as things do then. I still didn't talk to him back then, but I remember this apathy he had. He looked empty; there were no times where he'd lose it. Instead he developed the steely, cool persona he'd treat me and many of us with. Girls had ridiculously found this mysterious and soon became interested.

And then there came the Levi who was adored by many, revered by both teachers and students. The one who worked hard, looked beautiful and was a riot to be around. But he was also someone who I could tell was sometimes struggling to keep that all up, hence him being a bit of an arsehole and ... needing Mr Hibbert's and Miss Howard's help.

When I turn around to look at Levi, I don't see anger, apathy or a cool demeanour. Instead he looks just a little bit sad as a faint smile plays on his face.

"I mean, he passed away when I was young," Levi continues after clearing his throat a little, "so the memories are a bit crap but one thing I can remember is that his eyes are brown. It's stupid but it made me like mine, it was something that belonged to both him and me." Whilst his voice grows quieter his smile grows a little wider.

I smile gently. "That's really sweet."

We both sit quietly as we drive on down whatever journey Levi has planned. After ten minutes we drive into a small town I'd heard of that could easily get away with being called a village. It's all post-card cottages and picturesque parks and it's completely beautiful. We park on a street by some shops and as we get out Levi gestures to the end of the street we're on.

"Just down there is Little Haddington's market," he explains. "Be prepared to try some of the best food in your life there." He sounds so confident and excited I start grinning.

We continue walking down the road that soon arrives at the market place. The sky's above us is a mix of white and blue and lilac, the colours streak and merge together like the sky is one big canvas of watercolour paint. Busking guitar music drifts in between and whirls around the sound of laughter and people's chatter and the ringing of bicycle bells on the narrow accompanying road.

"Oh look," Levi says, stopping in front of a stall selling all kinds of hair accessories from scrunchies to glittering hair pins. He picks up a bright headband that has felt triangle devil horns attached. As I glare warningly at him he leans forward to place it on my hair. Taking a step back, Levi pretends to gasp in admiration. "Now that looks hot."

As hard as I try to scowl at him, I can't help the grin that spreads across my face. "Let's see what we can find you," I say, looking through the accessories. I then find just the thing. A Santa hat. After picking it up, I stand on my toes to put it on his head, adjusting it carefully.

Levi looks down at me, looking endearingly gorgeous.

"Now we can both have one," I say, falling back onto my feet.

As we both resume wandering down the market, I realise we're leaving the knick-knack, ornamental part of it behind. From the warm and welcoming smell of food, a tantalising call of both savoury and sweet goods, my stomach tumbles as I realise we're heading to the food section.

"LEE-VEE!" A booming and rumbling voice calls across the market. Several heads turn to see who's Levee and who's calling him. I look forward and see that a middle-aged Spanish man wearing a little black hat and sporting a scruffy grey beard is calling us, waving his hands around to catch our attention. The only reason I'm able to pinpoint his nationality to Spain is because of the flags flying around his stall, cheerful banners of scarlet and yellow blowing in the breeze.

"Juan!" Levi calls back, lifting up a hand to wave back at him.

It's been confirmed, Levi really does know just about everyone in Wickworth and its proximity.

We head over to Juan's stall which smells and looks absolutely gorgeous. A variety of Spanish food beckons my growling stomach. Little, golden croquettes sit proudly together in a row at the front, ruby-like sun-dried tomatoes decorate a rich and hefty tortilla, marigold yellow paella simmers in a pot. And that's only some of it.

"You," Juan says, flourishing a hand at me, "will like this." He offers me a number of golden brown churros wrapped in pape. Somewhere more churros are frying nearby, filling the air with the pastries' sweet, hot smell. Levi holds up a little cup of chocolate sauce I suspect Juan's given him, otherwise I'm curious to find out what else he has in his pockets. I suddenly pause at my thoughts, redenning. That 'curiosity' sounds a whole lot dirtier than intended.

Shaking my head, I reach for a warm, sugary churro and dunk it in the sauce before taking a bite.

And, oh my lord.

Levi laughs when my eyes widen and I give a little moan. Forget donuts, or any kind of desert for the matter, these beautiful little churros are all I need in life. Juan nods proudly, as if he expects nothing else of his edible miracles.

"Thanks Juan," Levi says as we both hand over some coins and continue eating the hot pastries as chocolate and sugar coats my lips, which is just as nice to lick away.

We make to leave and I thank Juan again who simply waves his arms to silence us and instead thanks us for coming. His eyes twinkle as he heartily waves good bye.

"Remember niños, love safely!" he calls after us when we continue our way down the street. My face instantly flames while Levi simply laughs, shaking his head at the well-intentioned but totally ludicrous remark.

His laughter grows when he sees my expression. "It's alright you know, when it comes to loving I'm completely and utterly 'safe'," Levi assures me. This only has my cheeks reddening further as I give him a shove.

He continues to grin as he bumps my shoulder with his in return. "You've got to stop that you know."

"What this?" I ask, raising a hand to push him again. But this time, just before my palm finds his shoulder, Levi catches my fingers in his.

"No," he says, his voice gentle and amused. "I mean the whole blushing thing. It kind of drives me crazy."

My god.

Ironically I feel my face flushing more warmly as my heart flutters in my chest when he lets go of my hand. I manage to sputter nothing but air as I stare back at him, my mouth slightly parted. This boy really, truly is going to be the death of me.

Levi then continues to walk throw the crowd, weaving through the path so nonchalantly it's as though he never said anything. I follow after him, stuck between wanting to kill him for making me feel so flustered and desperately hoping that my cheeks will cool.

We continue strolling down the street and after we've scoured through the entire market, sampled a little food at every platter, bought a small trinket from every stall and looked through some books at every kiosk- we finally feel like we're finished.

Then comes the decision whether it'll be best to go back to Levi's car and dump the stuff we've bought before we go somewhere else- well if we go somewhere else.