I played with the rings on my fingers while looking outside the café's window. The same one where I and Alex had our first coffee date. It was almost six months ago, but I swear it feels like yesterday. As you think about it, it's sad. Shit, I hate goodbyes. I always catch such sentiment for everything. Even the bad things.

I finally called Alex, asking if we can meet here. I think he knew why, because he wasn't asking any questions. He just agreed.

I wasn't afraid of him, especially not in a public place, though it wasn't a lot of people here. I just wanted it to end as quickly as possible, so I could go back home and rest(read: feel down but eventually get over my feelings) before we need to fly to Vancouver.

I was a bit anxious that someone can notify paparazzi about me being here, but I had sincere hope they're aware that I'm also a human being.

I kinda zoned out when I suddenly heard a voice greeting me. I knew who's voice was that. I looked up to find ocean eyes focused on me. I motioned him to sit down.

"Hey. You wanted to talk?" he started, making himself comfortable on the seat across the table.

"Yes." I cleared my throat. "I don't wanna bring up what happened few days ago-"

"I know, I'm so sorry, once again." he can be so sweet sometimes. I think that's what I'm gonna miss after all.

"I know you're sorry. But it's gone too far." I said and watched his face fall. "I've been thinking of it a lot and- and I believe we need to end this. I know I wasn't perfect either, but I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry."

As I was talking, my hands started feeling gross and cold, but I cared about what he's gonna reply more than how uncomfortable I am.

"That's- I- I can't lie, I've seen this coming." he hid his face in his hands, but after a few seconds he went back to sitting straight. "It was going so well, and I ruined it."

I frowned a bit. What was going well, our arguing all the time?

"What do you mean?"

"Noth- or you know what? I'll tell you. I see no point in hiding the truth anymore." he started. "When I saw you for the first time, back then at Joe's birthday party, I couldn't stop thinking about you. But I also saw him. I saw how you looked at him, how you wore his jacket and then his glasses. How you trusted him with MDMA. I knew I had to hurry."

Ookay, that's kinda creepy.

"I thought- I hoped, that after paparazzi caught you at the cafe, you'll be reluctant to be with him. That you'll find his fame problematic."

"Wait, what? How-" then suddenly the realization hit me.

[We got our coffees and I stole a glance at the man sitting near the main bar. He was giving the, I think, boss waitress money. But a lot more money than you pay for a coffee. He sorta reminded me of this one boy at the party yesterday. Weird, that I still remember him.]

"It was you who let them know! You bast-" I was about to say, but I bit my lip hard.

"My friend is a paparazzi guy. The waitress went to high school with me, so we pretty much kept in touch, and she was probably the first to know about me fancying you. So she called me. I thought it was a perfect opportunity." he kept talking, with literally no visible emotion on his face. What the fuck?

"You made me have a fucking panic attack!" I was careful not to raise my voice too much so other customers wouldn't be too alarmed. "If not Johnny-"

"Johnny this, Johnny that, my ass! All you talk about is him. He doesn't deserve you." I noticed he went from emotionless to lowkey mad. "And I? I could give you the world."

"No, you couldn't Alex." I answered as I shook my head. "You're delusional. Obsessed."

"Fuck, if you only didn't wanna talk with Johnny again. I thought leaking your secret will end your friendship, I really thought it did, until you said you're going to meet Johnny to sort things out. I got so mad I couldn't control myself."

"You.." I slowly started saying. "You did what?"

"I told the secret the same paparazzi friend. Then it just went around the world."

"No, no, no, wait," what the fuck is it? some conspiracy against me? "You didn't know it. I never told you."

"Yes, you did." he argued, leaning back in his seat. "Do you remember Halloween? When we first had sex. You took Molly earlier."

"No, I didn-"

"...I took Molly only once before. I hope I won't tell you my deepest darkest secrets or something while I'm high." I chuckled, looking at Alex who was only smiling.

Fuck, I did. Right! The blackout, maybe it was because I took MDMA. Oh shit, Johnny was right.

"Why, Alex? Why did you do it?" I asked helplessly. I felt like in some sort of a movie. I begged in my thoughts so someone would just yell cut!

"I didn't want it to affect you, but that asshole. Listen, Elektra, I wanted to love you. To make your life wonderful. I love you." He reached for my hand that rested on the table, but I quickly took it back and placed it on my thigh. "Johnny was in the way to our happiness."

I shook my head, "You're fucking insane. You can't love healthily. You should go to a therapist or some shit."

I was so confused. Only one person responsible for all the times I felt bad, for the time when me and Johnny didn't talk. Now I'm sure that all my supposed feelings for him are gone. Actually, I might have realized that there never were any, and that's why I couldn't say I love you back to him. How could I be so blind?

"I don't care what you're saying. I can easily replace you anyway." he crossed his arms over his chest and stared outside the window.

What is he, bipolar? "Then what finally? You love me or you can replace me?"

I don't know if I was sad, angry or what. I could use a cigarette to sort all the feelings out. Either way, I don't wanna listen to his bullshit anymore. I'm magically hearing lots of new things about me.

"I'm just saying I wouldn't have to try that hard. Keep that in you, please. I don't want you to live in wrong, which is that someone will be ever truly interested in you." he added with mean smirk on his face.

"Fuck you. Really, sincerely, fuck you. I regret meeting you at all. You're a maniac, keep that in you, please. I don't want you to live in wrong." I countered.

"Maybe I'm not the problem here,"

I froze. I got a sudden flashback.

I shrugged it off, grabbing my jacket and walking out. I swear, I'll never speak a word to him, ever. I thought we might even end it as friends, but I don't think there's a chance anymore.

In a blink of an eye there was a cigarette between my lips and, out of the hurry to make it to the parking lot where Jack was waiting in the car, I dropped my lighter on the ground. It almost made me cry, and I never wanted to be at home more.

I entered the car and immediately was assailed with questions from Jack.

"Just drive, please." I said, inhaling the nicotine desperately.

He didn't have to be told twice.

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