"Enjoy your flight." The flight attendant said to me with a smile, then left elegantly.

I made myself more comfortable in my seat, grabbing a blanket from beside me. The weekend seemed to start off with incredibly low temperature, and I couldn't wait to set my seat a little back so I'd be able to take a nap. Sometimes I really forget how nice it is to fly private jets.

Johnny sat by the table, on other side of this kinda narrow corridor in the middle of the plane that divided us, with his PA and two other important people. They were all talking and seemed busy taking care of everything that has to be taken care of, so I didn't plan to interrupt them in any way. I also noticed that Johnny had plenty of those little thank-you cards to sign, that he sends to fans after he gets letters or all sorts of gifts from them. It's so very sweet in my opinion.

I glanced one more time at his moving lips as he was saying something to his companions, before turning my back to all of them and gluing my gaze to the blue sky outside the window. I wondered how much of a jet lag I'm gonna suffer once we get to New York.

I'm going back home for maybe a week or so, because there is a small break in the production. People responsible for it must check if filming is going the right way and how much more time it'll take, etc, etc. First it was supposed to be only a long weekend for the cast and crew, but in the end it turned out to be longer than that. I'm not complaining, it's nice to get some rest, but I'll miss the set and filming and the people. God, I really got attached to this whole thing.

Out of curiosity, I checked the weather in NY. As expected, raining. I bet that once I get there I'm gonna doze off in a lifetime lasting nap. After, of course, I greet Alex. He'll be already waiting at my place for me.

Although the whole thing with not texting back got solved by us talking later that day, I still have a little bittersweet feelings about him, if at all. Thinking of Alex wasn't giving me the satisfaction it used to anymore, and I had some very serious ideas lately.

I can't keep a relationship I'm not interested in no more because it not only hurts me, but also Alex, and that's the last thing I want. It was nice while it lasted, and I know it'll be hard for both of us. Though I'm terrified of how he's gonna react, knowing well how he behaved last time when I wanted to just take a break.

On top of that, what happened between me and Johnny few weeks ago really messed up with my head. I know it was me who asked him to not go back to this, but I couldn't not think about it. It's just too much of a sensation. To my body as well as my mind.

Also, it's not like it all suddenly disappeared. It was supposed to be normal after that, and we were supposed to act normal. But the goddamn chemistry was still there, kinda like a little bit of the magic powder that's left after you make a wish. Something like these random waves of heat exploding inside of me while he'd touch my waist or hug me, or just say a thing that might be taken as a compliment. I tried to keep my cool and ignore it, but it wasn't much of a help.

And it was scary, especially when I didn't exactly know what I feel and if it goes both ways. God, I'm all over the place and life's messed up. I'm glad that it's at least not awkward and we're still best friends, though.

Alright, I need to make a plan for the next couple of days. First, take care of the thing with Alex, then live through it hopefully without any big dramas coming along. Second, figure out what to do with Johnny.

Third, rest.

My eyes slowly started closing by themselves, and I sneaked one more look at the clouds passing by before the world went dark and quiet.

I barely managed to open my eyes since my eyelids felt heavy as hell, but I didn't regret waking up as the first view I got were orange, pink and red colored clouds, with some even more colorful sky.

The sunset.

Few moments had passed before I remembered who and where I am. I checked the time on my phone and realized I've slept through half of the flight, then got the urge to look around and see what everyone else is doing.

It was quiet and calm, if someone was not sleeping then they were listening to music or just on their phones. My sight finally landed on Johnny, but he didn't fit the general vibe. He was alone now, the other pals must've gone somewhere else.

He had his phone laying down in front of him, with both of his hands supporting his head. He was anxiously biting his lip, glancing at the glowing phone here and there. His expression showed stress, worry and anger mixed, and he seemed to be living in his head. So much he didn't even notice me looking at him.

I frowned a bit, thinking what could've happened while I was out, though first it would be great to get myself fully awake before going back to life and all its charms.

I blinked a couple times and rubbed my eyes, gaining more consciousness. Oh, how I wish I had an energy drink with me right now. I love naps, but the derealization you get after you wake up always knocks me off my feet.

I sat up, running a hand through my hair, and noticed that Johnny still hadn't calmed, deducing from his expression, the thunderstorm that was happening in his thoughts.

"Hey," I started quietly, trying to get his attention. "Johnny!"

He lifted his head, looking at me with doe eyes and somewhat surprised face.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Oh, uh, yeah." he smiled, immediately painting a different image, like nothing had happened.

"You sure?"

He nodded. "How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty good. Have you seen the sunset?"

"Oh yeah. It's beautiful."

I was gathering all my stuff as I prepared for leaving the plane. We made it safely to New York and I almost forgot how good it is to be greeted with rain pouring down. Literally, if you looked outside the window you could see pure sheets of rain. I already knew we would have to run to the car to not end up looking like we had just exited the shower.

"El?" I heard Johnny calling my name, and I turned around to face him. I raised my brows. "Can you, uhm, stay with me for a second once we're alone? I have something to tell.. or more like show you."

I agreed and started growing pretty curious, so when everyone finally left I turned my whole attention to Johnny and what he had to say.

"My friend was strolling New York couple hours ago and texted me this. I didn't want to be the one to see you upset, but I can't keep the truth away from you. I'm sorry."

He unlocked his phone and showed me a part of his messages.

My heart dropped. I tried not to make any specific expression as I analyzed the photo.

I probably would've left it alone if not the way this girl looks at him. I knew that look too well, because I happened to be giving it to Alex numerous times. Also, if not the obscure fact that he was giving the look back.

"Then they left.. holding hands." Johnny quietly added, like he was afraid to do so.

I stared at the phone some more before giving it back. I needed to get out from here, from everyone, not mentioning that even my mind seemed blurry. I certainly didn't want Johnny watching as I fall apart from how this knowledge was stabbing my heart over and over again.

I know I planned the literal break up, but being cheated on is a whole another thing. I don't even know how to feel.

"El-" he tried to come closer and hug me, but I refused.

I cleared my throat, "Could you, uh, send that picture to me?"

A bit of an uncomfortable silence fell around us before he spoke.

"Of course."

"Thanks."

"Tell me if there is something I can do. Like, for example, murder him."

"Guys, are you done? Everyone is waiting." Elsie suddenly popped her head in the entrance, making both of our heads turn towards her.

"Elsie, it's not-" Johnny started, but I interrupted him.

"Go. You too, Johnny. I'll drive with Jack." I replied. I saw him open his mouth to say something. "It's fine. I just.. need some time alone." I blurted out, grabbing my backpack.

I still couldn't process everything that had happened, but I could entirely feel my heart crying. I bet in some time I'll be too, if not angry. Though now I don't feel anything at all.

I put the hood of my jumper over my head, leaving both incredibly upset looking Johnny and confused Elsie.

I think there goes living through the day hopefully without any dramas coming along.

--

"Hi, babe. How was the flight?" Alex started sweetly right after I shut my house's door close.

"Hi." I replied coldly, not even looking at him. I was tired and sick enough of his bullshit.

"What happened?" he frowned.

I grabbed and unlocked my phone, then went to photos and showed him the exact same one Johnny had showed me. I handed him the device, then went to the kitchen to get some apple juice.

"So? She's just a friend." Alex started, still from the corridor.

"Oh, really?" I sarcastically asked, opening the fridge.

"Listen, she's an old friend from school. We met up to talk."

I shook my head with a mocking smile, "You're ridiculous."

"What's your problem now?"

"Are you blind? Can't you see how she looks at you? Also, by the way, how you look at her. You know, I'm not that dumb." I shut the fridge door with force, slowly getting frustrated.

"Alright, I heard she was in love with me once, so maybe she still has the feelings. But I don't! I never did. So stop exaggerating." he answered as I rolled my eyes.

"You weren't exaggerating when you held her hand while walking out."

He snorted, ignoring what I just said. "I somehow don't say anything when I see the way Johnny looks at you, and I'm not judging you because of the past you both had."

"We don't have any past."

"Don't lie. Everybody knows now."

I froze.

"What do you mean?"

I slowly put the glass with juice down as he pointed to the open laptop resting on the kitchen table. There was only one thing that came to my mind right now. I suddenly got all hot. Calm down, it can't be. Johnny would never do that.

I started scrolling through headlines of different tabloids as my heart beat faster and faster. These all showed about an hour ago, while I was still on the plane.

"This is false, all bullshit," I mumbled to myself, not believing the endless list of articles I was seeing.

"What?"

"It was a long time ago. We didn't know if we hooked up or not, but we promised not to tell anyone about it. And definitely not the press." I spoke, flabbergasted.

"Wait, who told you that me and that girl were holding hands? Was it Johnny?" I didn't respond, I just looked him in the eyes. "So, let me get this straight, you and him were the only ones who knew, and he sold that secret? And you still believe him saying I cheated on you?"

What Alex said was horribly messing with my head, but it was also true. Although.. Johnny wouldn't do that. I know him. And for what? I know he hates press and all that tabloid shit.

On the other hand, who else if not him?

Right now I was in such a roller coaster of thoughts and feelings that I think I need a cigarette.

Or three.

["No, but seriously, we won't talk about last night, whether we did something or not" He put out his hand for me to shake.

]

🌺