I suddenly broke away from the kiss as the sound of oven's beeping reached my ears.

"Hold on one second," I said to Alex, removing my body from his and breaking the streak of, like, an hour and a half of cuddling on my couch, watching movies.

He smiled, letting go of my waist and I stood up, then went almost flying to the kitchen to get my delicious, home-made pizza out of the oven.

It's New Year's Eve today, the last day of this crazy year. Alex has spent the night here and now is just hanging around, since we have a little party planned for later. It's not with insane amount of humans, just a bunch of people smoking cigarettes and what-not else, talking about life.

It'll be the same group of personages it always is, means the band and everyone they wish to bring along. I don't really know where it is or who's throwing the party, but Johnny is supposed to text me the details. I think it's his friend or something, but I've never met them.

It's snowing and awfully cold, so I plan on dressing casually, only to be all warm and cozy.

Although it's still plenty of time until the darkness sets and we have to get ready, and because of the fact that we're both too lazy to get anything else to eat, we decided on making a pizza with anything we want. We combined many different things together, so I can only hope it turns out good.

Another thing, it's past Christmas and I've spent it in a way I didn't think was possible anymore, roughly getting through.

I know I've said my foot will never enter my parents' house again, but maybe two days before Christmas Eve I got a call from Arabella, nearly begging me to fly over to LA. At first I tried to explain to her the terms me and my mom are on and how we don't talk, but she sounded incredibly upset and it made me feel nothing but an almost stabbing pain in my chest.

I fought with my pride all until she told me mom has been distant lately, like she's sorting things out in her head. I found it weird, after all I've certainly never seen her do that before.

Hate is a small word for the feelings she caused me back then, but maybe something had changed this time?

I didn't know it, but I decided I'll go. I couldn't do that to Arabella, not when I felt like she's literally my own child ever since she was born. I know it sounds cheesy, but I don't know how else to express it. So, in the end I thought, what do I have to lose? and told Elsie to book me a flight as soon as possible.

When I got there everyone was already settled in the house, exactly like the last time here. The happy expression on my dad's face when he saw me kind of made me feel better as a person, and I don't think I have to describe Arabella's.

Though when I finally saw my mom, you could immediately feel the tension, but I managed to greet her. It's so bizarre but so her, how she won't apologize but can act like nothing happened. I always admired that skill of hers.

When the Christmas' Eve dinner came around, everyone could hear the silence before the storm, but the storm never happened. The next two days at the house went by peacefully, without my mom exaggerating things and I tried my best not to, too. I guess it kinda cleared the atmosphere, but still, it's not like we're suddenly besties.

And here I am, back home and alive, not bringing any hurt along with me. That's a strange thing to experience. Maybe there actually is a hope for better times?

I grabbed the soft, kitchen gloves and pulled the trace with food out of the oven. As if no one has expected that, it was hot as hell, and knowing me I had to be really careful not to burn half of my skin off.

Probably attracted by the smell, Alex showed up in the kitchen with an excited expression on his face not long after.

We sat and waited together, talking a bit about the soon-to-be party later. Speaking of which, I finally got the text from Johnny, and from what I know it's 20 minutes by car to get there.

When the pizza cooled down enough to be sliced and tasted, I decided to clean up the kitchen and all the ingredients, since I haven't yet done that.

I was met with the bag of flour, suddenly getting flashbacks from the other night with Johnny. I smiled and looked over to Alex to see him being extremely focused on slicing the food with the little circle kinda knife you use to cut pizza.

A smirk flashed through my lips as I took some of the flour between my thumb, pointing and middle finger. Out of nowhere, I threw it at him, but just a little amount, only to get started.

It landed on his green jumper and his jaw, instantly catching his attention.

"What the hell, El?" he rather growled, dead serious, making my smile fade. "Do you know how long does it take to clean this up?"

He raised his voice slightly, but not loud enough to yell at me.

Well, that's the last type of reaction I've expected. My chest filled out with bitterness as I mumbled an apologize and moved on with cleaning.

"Hey, I'm sorry," he started, calm now, placing his hands each on one of my shoulders. "it's just.. we're not toddlers anymore. We can't spread flour all around recklessly and spend, what, two or more hours on cleaning."

"It's okay, I understand." I replied with small voice.

He then pulled me into a quick hug.

"Wait," I continued. "Why did you call me El?"

"I thought you might like it, the pet name." he answered. "Do you like it?"

What am I supposed to say? Don't call me that because Johnny already does? He'd only be more annoyed.

"Not really. I like Elektra."

That's half true. I just like one particular person to call me El. Like is a light word to express it, though. I worship it every time it leaves his mouth.

"Alright, as you wish." he replied. "I love you."

"Me too."

I don't know why, but I couldn't bring myself to answer with the exact words, just me too or when he'd ask if I loved him I'd say I do. I didn't truly do feel this.. urge yet, the sudden thought out of nowhere, the famous I love you. My best theory is that I need a lil more time, that's all.

--

Soft music played in the background while we all sat in somewhat a circle made out of two couches and some armchairs. The topic went on movies, and I couldn't enjoy enough how Johnny and others talked about it, in kinda respectful way, beautifully.

It was still about 3 hours 'till midnight, and I felt just good, actually ever since me and Alex stepped into the house. I loved the old music here, songs I didn't know the title and pieces I haven't heard before. It all put me in sorta mysterious feels.

I noticed Johnny was looking for something in his pockets, and I figured out he was about to excuse himself to go out for a cigarette. I thought it's a perfect opportunity to give him my late Christmas gift, as we haven't seen each other ever since the holidays started.

Johnny told me he'll be flying over to France to spend Christmas with Vanessa and the kiddies, so I also didn't really wanna text him that much. But now we finally have the chance to meet and I truly hope he's gonna like the present. I honestly didn't care if he'll give me something back, I only wanted to maybe make him smile.

I joined him already in the corridor leading to, apparently, a balcony in the other part of the house. Not long has passed and I watched Johnny light his cigarette up, observing the omnipresent snow all around. I, however, wasn't that interested in smoking. Instead I pulled out a black, silky little box.

"Johnny," I said, gaining his attention and he hummed in response, taking a drag. "I've got something for you."

He looked down to my hands, then frowned. "Oh, no, no, you didn't have to-"

I knew he was gonna react like this. "But I wanted to. Listen," I started, unpacking the box and presenting two signet-rings. "the colors aren't just random. I tried to get the shades as accurate as I could, actually. The ring with the black-brown crystal is for me," I explained, but after seeing his face expression I knew that he'd figured it out. "Because it represents your eyes and I adore that color. The dark blue, sapphire kinda one is what I want to give you."

I was kinda nervous because I couldn't read his face no more, he was just looking at it with his lips parted a bit. The smoke from his burning cigarette was still rising up to the air.

I suddenly started doubting the whole thing. Eye-colored rings? Geez, it sounds so embarrassing now.

He pulled me out of the overthinking by placing his hand on mine, the one that was holding the little box. I looked up at him as he spoke softly.

"El, this is.. and I mean it, the most precious gift I've ever, ever received. Thank you so much!" I grinned. "But.. I'm afraid I can't take it. It looks expensive-"

"Johnny, that's literally what matters the least." I replied. "It's a gift. Merry late Christmas."

And then he brutally attacked me with a bone-crushing bear hug.

In the next minutes we both smoked and talked about how we've spent the holidays. We wore the rings and Johnny was at times just randomly glancing at it, smirking lightly. Knowing he likes it removed this stone of worry pressing down on my heart.

We went back inside and I made my way to Alex again, and he was sitting right where I left him. I plumped down beside him, allowing one of his arms to sneak around my shoulders. I relaxed into his body.

"Did you give him the gift?" he asked. Alex knew about everything since he was the one to help me get the thing.

"Yes."

"Did he like it?"

"Oh, I think he did. Very."

"Good." he answered, sipping on his drink.

Suddenly, a girl came up to us all, with a ball of what seemed like sea of small, maybe two-inch pieces of paper. Kinda like the one you get in fortune cookies. We fell silent, ready to listen what the girl has to say.

"Everyone in this room must sink their fingers in the magic bowl, and draw one of the little papers. A challenge is written on it, that one certainly has to do, in order to have a successful and happy year. Not doing the challenge means the exact opposite, and no one wants that."

The woman seemed a bit too energetic, but no one really cared since everyone got very excited and all. First one's started dipping their fingers and mixing the small pieces of paper, pulling out one after another.

I found out there were two hours 'till midnight.

Some of the dares were so weird it left me sitting with my jaw dropped, but they were also incredibly hilarious. I had the best time, until it was Johnny's turn to draw. I could have never ever expected what would happen in a moment.

With an amused look in his eyes, he pulled out a piece. He read it. Then along the smile on his face came a roll of the eyes.

"What are we, 17? Do I have to do that?" he asked and everyone bursted out laughing for some reason.

"You don't have to, but then you'll be attracting misery on every step you'll take for the next year." Someone answered. "Come on, read it aloud. Everyone did."

He looked at the guy that just spoke, then at the paper again. And sighed.

"Kiss the prettiest girl in the room."

Yes, I know. We all had the same reaction, someone even gasped. Curiosity of what he'll do was eating up my brain from the inside.

I sat more on the edge of my seat, in a way where Johnny was maybe step or two away from me.

Suddenly, our eyes met only for a split second, but it was enough for me to see the look he had in them.

Oh my..

It all happened in a matter of 0.2 seconds, when Johnny took a step in my direction, the same step that divided us earlier. Once he was right in front of me, he leaned on the floor on one knee and gently put two hands on either side of my face, bringing me closer. I didn't even have enough time to react properly.

I thought I knew what was gonna happen, but apparently not really, since the one and only thing I felt, and also that made my insides go wild and eyes instantly flutter close, was his lips just brushing against mine. Then he suddenly was pushed away.

The next image I saw was Alex meeting Johnny's face with closed fist, and then him grabbing his nose all of a sudden.

Johnny carefully stood up, wiping off the blood from the underside of his nose. His eyes burned with a giant fire of anger, and not long after, as expected, he punched Alex back.

He stumbled back a step and roughly fell to sit on the floor, holding his face.

I couldn't believe my own eyes but I still had to do something, so I also stood up, stopping Johnny from walking any further with my forearm against his chest.

He visibly softened once we made eye-contact.

"Johnny.." I breathed out.

"I'm sorry, I- I shouldn't have done that. You have every right to be mad." he said and I noticed even more blood on his face.

I tried to wipe it off but he almost sorta flinched, and looked down at me with an apology written in his eyes. He then grabbed his jacket and before I even had the chance to say anything back, he hurriedly left the room.

I probably would've gone right after him, if not Alex. I kneeled down beside him instead, thinking what the fuck just happened.

---

I drove back to my house with Jack, tired and have-had-enough eyes staring at the colorful sky, full with fireworks. The car was silent, not even radio playing.

I almost got worried to death because I didn't know where Johnny has gone, but I calmed down once I got to know that he's with Jerry, all safe and sound.

We've previously also had Alex in the car, but he said he wants some time alone and that he'll take care of his swollen cheek by himself. I didn't protest. I just let him go and we dropped him off at his house.

I was so worn out, barely processing stuff.

Johnny tried to kiss me, in front of my boyfriend, because he had a dare to kiss the prettiest girl in the room. But did he even look around?

It felt like my brain was too small to keep all these informations and too tired to think.

We made it to our destination and I walked up my front door stairs, head bowed down with hands in my jacket's pockets. I almost didn't notice the rather medium size box, or more like present wrapped in Christmas paper, chilling next to my door. I slowly approached it.

I read what the little card attached to it said.

You deserve it, darling. Merry Christmas.

Yours Forever,

JD

Oh, Johnny.

🐲

🌺