I listened to music on full blast in my living room while doing some work, like planning and actually creating stuff. Over the last two weeks I've literally visited every coffee shop in NYC, meeting authors who wanted me to take care of graphic side of their project. Most of the ideas were really cool, and I loved that I could freely pick which one made me feel the best and participate in it. I also saw people on the internet crediting my work as an extra thing for their posts.

It's been long time too, since I have seen Johnny. You can't imagine how guilty it makes me feel that.. Well, do you recall when he asked me out, saying he'll 'make it up to me'? He did, in fact, text me once or twice if I'd want to go grab some coffee, but I refused every time, saying I have lots of work going on.

And it's not like I don't wanna go, but the thing Elsie said actually happened. Now more people are interested in me than my relationship with Johnny.

I thought a lot about the thing that happened between us, and why I reacted so intensively, even though literally nothing developed out of it. But like, I mean it, I've never had such butterflies.. Or I'm just exaggerating, that's all. Yeah, anyway, I'm sure Johnny doesn't remember it anymore.

And also, every time I remind myself of when I called him pretty, I want to scream into my pillow out of embarrassment. Now I can tell why he didn't respond to it.

To change this horrible topic, I'd say I feel like drinking coffee right now. Not home-made coffee, but the one you go and order in a coffee shop. Then you just sit outside for a while, watching busy streets of New York. Oh I definitely need to do this.

September has barely started, so even in late afternoon it was still warm. First, I decided to shower, because then you feel all clean and ready to live.

Throughout the shower, I washed my body and then hair. I also put some lotion and conditioner into it.

Stepping out of the shower, I turned the volume up on my speaker. Dunno, how about you, but screaming lyrics of your favorite song when drying your hair is the best part of living in this shitty hole.

Speaking of hair, I've got a new haircut recently. It's inspired on David Bowie, which basically means that's it's all dyed red except little bangs that are blond. In my opinion, it looks fucking awesome.

After getting everything done in bathroom, I moved to my room's wardrobe, to pick something chic, but not too chic, more like chilly-chic. Lately I've been obsessed with all the people posting their outfits on Instagram when they go out. The idea really got into my mind, so I decided I could make something up too.

Black, high-top converse. I swear, Converse shoes have been carrying my style since I was 13 or something. They feel like family to me.

I decided on navy blue, mom jeans. I also put on belt with a flower pattern, and two, thin gold chains hanging from it.

I buttoned up my dark purple crop top. With only sorta high-waisted jeans, my upper and middle stomach was exposed. Finally something worth going to gym so many times. I left a few buttons undone, so my alien necklace was shown.

On the top of it, I've thrown a plain, black jacket over it. Added some- well, 'some' has relatively lots of meanings. I meant rings on all fingers except thumbs, piercings on my ears and black, cat-eye sunglasses.

All right, after this really long description, I think you can imagine how powerful I felt. I locked my door, and soon after plugged in my headphones. Since the city center is in about 20 minutes by foot, I decided to just take a walk.

Halfway through, the need of smoking a cigarette came over me. Damn, these things really took me over. I got the pack out of my pocket and put one between my lips. I searched for a lighter, but then I remembered that I had this jacket the night Johnny scared the shit outta me, and I dropped it. Holy goddamn shit. Guess I'm not smoking then. I'm still gonna visit the nearest shop tho.

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I made my way to the exit, with the coffee already in my hands. I sat outside at one of the tables and observed everything. I know it's sounds kinda weird, but looking at people passing by, watching their body language or what they are currently doing, wondering how much their life is different than yours, really is an addiction of mine. I started doing that as a teenager, observing people to a degree that is like ill. Not in a serial killer way, but just out of curiosity, and it stayed with me. I wonder how it'd look if we would have to just stay home, without a possibility to see each other. It'd be shitty as hell, I think.

The time passed by, and I started to see some very dark clouds coming onto the sky, so I thought it's better if I head home. I wasn't in the mood to walk in the rain, getting ill later or something. However, the idea of dancing in the rain is not bad itself.

I stood up, ready to put my empty cup in a trash bin, when suddenly I bumped into someone. I was all ready to drop the rain of 'sorry''s, until I saw those eyes. The always light brown ones, never darker nor lighter.

The ones I keep in my heart like nothing else.

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here's the photo of the hair

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