《EN | Chilumi Week 2022》𝟸. ✧ To have a heart to shatter
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Since the events in the Golden House, I thought we were getting closer.
Was I the only one to feel that way?
Those laughs, those smiles, those touches of the hand, had I imagined them?
Why was I seeing you, arms linked with him now, as if you were infatuated with him? I thought I had improved, enough to be on your level, away from all the darkness I was willingly bathing in. I thought I had made progress, that I had become a better person, and that was because of you. You had a power over me, you were able to take me where I never thought I would. So why was I seeing you walking away, your figure getting smaller and smaller, without you ever looking back, to the past, to me?
You'd put your arm under his, you'd put your hand on his when he drank his usual tea, you'd smile broadly when he forgot to bring his moras. I could see it. All your attention was focused on him, just him, and only him.
Those sweet words he must whisper in your ear when he leaned over to you, that hand he placed without hesitation on your lower back when he accompanied you into town, those smiles he flashed at you at the slightest opportunity; why did they hurt me so much?
I didn't have a heart until I met you. You rebuilt it, brick by brick, so that I could have feelings again. But what use was it to me now that you refused to be by my side? You gave me back this feeling that was love, that I intended for you. You gave me back the feeling that was fear, that I felt as I thought of you going farther away from me. You gave me back the feeling that was jealousy, towards this man I considered a friend. And after filling that heart once again, you left me. What was I supposed to do now?
Seeing you sitting at this table with him while listening to Yun Jin's famous opera only made my heart crumble. He, who was only focused on you, annexing his whole environment, and you, who were holding his hand while turning your attention to the singer; you looked so happy at that moment.
I, who was near the stairs, ready to turn away from this spectacle that was piercing my heart with thousands of poisoned needles, couldn't however resolve to simply leave. Your enchanting aura still haunted me as the blue of my eyes detailed every single strand of your hair twirling in the soft early evening breeze, and the reflection of the fading sun on your delicate complexion.
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I wanted to reach out and knock over the table with the drink on it, to vent my anger and fear that kept sticking to my skin and casting my shadow. I couldn't stand my pathetic state, but I just couldn't change it.
I just wanted to know why this sudden change in behavior. What did he have that I didn't? Was it his millennia of knowledge? Was it his love for contracts? Was it his austere taste in clothing, or his constant poverty?
No matter how many times I asked myself these questions, I could never come up with a decent answer that made sense.
So when Yun Jin's opera ended, and everyone present began to get up and go about their business, my body moved by itself, guided by this perpetual search for an answer.
Without even realizing it, I was already standing in front of you, your bright name coming out of my mouth in a husky tone as if I hadn't spoken to anyone in decades, the intonation almost desperate. Your golden eyes pierced me, looking at me without really paying attention to me, as if I wasn't something worthy of attention.
All it took was one glance from your partner for you to turn back to him after vaguely greeting me. So I stretched my hand, the fabric of my glove gripping your wrist tightly, forcing you to turn back to me, to look at me again, to stay with me as you did not so long ago.
And you turned back to me as I hoped, black pupils now shining under the moonlight that enveloped the harbor in a bluish halo, body stopped in its tracks, mouth half-open in surprise. But the look you were giving me was less surprised than impatient. Impatient at the idea that I would release you, so that you could probably continue your date with him.
At that moment, my newfound emotions were bubbling up inside me, in my rib cage that was far too narrow to contain them all, that was giving way under the pressure. I was tired of having to watch you from afar, of feeling rejected, of not understanding your behavior. So I said what was in my heart, in a voice that was much weaker than I would have liked, almost broken, like my heart in pieces.
"Why? I thought we were getting along, getting closer, having a good time together. So why him?"
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Unable to meet your gaze, I just stared at my black boots on the red wooden deck of Liyue Harbor, the apprehension of getting an answer making my bruised heart leap. I wanted to understand, but I knew in advance that this much-sought answer would only hurt me all the more.
"Childe..."
The soft intonation with which you pronounced my name surprised me. It was the same intonation you used to give me in our moments together when we laughed without constraint, without being afraid of each other. This intonation that I had learned to love and hoped to receive every time I saw you. Then I raised my head, to observe your glittering golden irises that always accompanied that unique tone. But that sparkle was no more. That shine was no longer the same. It had been altered, most likely by the man who was behind you at this very moment, his gaze resting sternly on my hand around your wrist.
"It's not against you, don't take it the wrong way."
That gentle voice gave way to a comforting tone, albeit tinged with a touch of guilt. The reason for your guilt though was a mystery. But that comfort did nothing to ease the pain I felt deep in my gut. I didn't want comfort. All I wanted and desired was you, but perhaps that was too much to ask?
"What does he have that I don't?" I heard myself whisper again, but I couldn't stop the words from slipping off the tip of my tongue.
"It has nothing to do with having or not having something," you said quickly, your features subtly hardening in annoyance.
You had enough of me and my jealous behavior.
And I was tired of feeling empty emotions.
So my grip around your wrist tightened, in a vain attempt to keep you close to me for a few more minutes, seconds, or even a fraction of a second. You tried to free yourself, moved your wrist in all directions without succeeding in breaking my hold, a grimace of pain taking place on your seraphim face.
"Childe, you're hurting me," you said, as if you believed that words still mattered to me. If I didn't let go of you, then I would get what I wanted, what I desired, what I now needed.
But a hand came to rest on mine, firm, threatening, imposing me to stop this violent behavior. My blue crossed the amber in a guerrilla war of lightning.
"It's enough."
His deep, steady, wisdom-filled voice rang out, silencing all the onlookers who had gathered around this tense spectacle. This new silence enveloped us, exacerbating a hundredfold the beating of my heart drumming inside me, galloping and hectic.
Obeying an order from him wasn't something I would tolerate. But when he started to crush my hand, forcing me to let go of your arm, I could only give in. As soon as I let go, you began to massage your sore wrist, a now furious look focused on me.
And at that moment, my world fell apart.
I brought my hand to my side, looked away, and muttered a breathy "I'm sorry" in a way that showed everyone that I was aware of my inappropriate behavior.
I was aware of it, and yet my fist clenched of its own accord, externalizing all my frustration at not being able to hold you close to me, at having to see you arm in arm with him, as if you were meant to be together.
I was hurting. My heart was bleeding in my chest. My breaths were labored and jerky as a sudden urge to cry surfaced in me. What was I supposed to do with this heap of feelings that seemed ready to burst into flames at any moment? I wanted to rip it from my chest and go back to being the insensitive person I used to be, but a part of me prevented me from doing so, and instead cherished those emotions that only you had rekindled.
I felt as if all the blood in my heart was escaping from my body, leaving only an empty shell desperate for reciprocal feelings from you. But that irritated look, then upset, that annoyed face, trying to avoid me, that distant behavior that you had adopted, I couldn't do anything to stop them.
So my gaze turned towards the heavens, chin raised so that I could observe this night, a thought flashed through my mind to prove my dismay.
Am I not worthy of being loved?
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Taking Over the Villaness' Body: 365 Days to Live As I Like!
Ann, a corporate slave in the modern life, suddenly couldn’t resist her body’s drowsiness and fell asleep after working non-stop for... who-knows-how-long. Her sleep wasn’t a good one as she was overly worried she wouldn’t be able to finish her work. When she finally woke up, she was greatly shocked. An unknown room, an unknown man with his icy expression, and moreover, the man addressed her as “Arlea”, and not “Ann”.And then she finally realized. She somehow ended up in the body of “Arlea”—a villainess in the fantasy/romance otome game she had played in the past, when she still had free time to relax. To make things worse, she remembered that in the next one year, she—Arlea—was fated to die. ‘In such a situation, what should I do?’‘Let’s think seriously of a way to overturn the situation?’‘But hold on, what if I can’t change the scenario? Why bother?’ Having lived her days in the modern life as a serious and restrained woman who became a corporate slave to her death, Ann finally decided... to spend her additional 365 days to live freely as she likes! Little did she know that her decision would cause everyone who knew Arlea to be very surprised and alarmed with her change.What happened to the villainous, hateful woman called Arlea? Why did she become like this? What is she scheming now??Let's see how long she can keep up her pretense! - This novel is influenced by Japanese LN/WNs, so there will be the use of Japanese suffix (-sama, -san) and terms! - This novel is originally posted in my site, and can also be accessed in CreativeNovels. If you're not sure you're reading the most up-to-date chapter, feel free to check there. If you want to support this series, gain access to rewards such as advanced chapters, and help in increasing this series' update rate, please check my Patreon page~. - Thanks for reading! Please don't hesitate to leave a comment and review, especially if you enjoy it, as it will boost my motivation ^^
8 186Chimera Dire
Michael Kargas’ mission was to protect the royal twins from harm until the Allerian people overthrew the Rowowan empire, secured their independence, and reestablished the monarchy. His efforts to do so were complicated by civil strife, an entitled princess, an out of control prince, enemy agents, and an unsolved murder.
8 105The Author's Will
❝ 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐧... 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲? ❞⠀ When an aspiring author passes away before she can complete her first story, she is petrified to find herself reborn as the villainess her own unfinished novel. The calculative, vicious daughter of a duke, who is to be ruthlessly slaughtered by the crown prince - Irene Cherliann.Not only is there an impending doom awaiting her - but even her life is filled with misfortune. Irene's father is cold and dismissive, her mother passes away at a young age, her brother is a frighteningly violent knight, and the main villain - an illegitimate prince - is living in her home.In order to survive in this novel, Irene must change its course entirely. And by using her advantage of knowing the future events, as well as her abundant affinity for summoning spirits - she is prepared to reshape this story into that of her will.⠀ "𝐒𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠?"But when she realises that this world is not as simple as she thought, and that danger lurks in every hidden corner outside of her expertise, will Irene be able to protect the people dearest to her? And when the man she wanted to remain romantically uninvolved from suddenly confesses his feelings to her, will she be able to give him the answer he wants?─────────────𝐀𝐧 𝐎𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐂𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐲 @𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞
8 193The Luna's Awakening
I always felt like I was different somehow. I knew my wolf could feel it too. But it all changed on the day of my 18th birthday when I inherited my Luna powers and the mark. But the thing is... only the first born daughter of the Silver Moon Luna pack gets these powers and my mother is not a Luna (female Alpha), she is just a member of the pack like me. So then I guess that leaves me with one unanswered question.....Who am I really? Over the years only the first born daughters of powerful female leaders in the SilverMoon pack are born with the same mark on their hip. They are the ones to become the next pack leaders, Luna's. But what happens when Lara King, an ordinary werewolf whose mum is not a Luna, receives a unique mark on her hip on her 18th birthday which no other wolf or first born daughter has. She knows she is different. Her parents tell her she was born to be a powerful leader like no other, they tell her that when the time comes she will need to reveal her real identity to everyone to save her pack and defeat a powerful enemy. However Lara is worried and feels like she is not the one. Until the day when the current Luna of her pack finds out of her true identity and is set out on killing her. She knows the time for her to reveal her big secret is closer then she expected but she has many challenges to face along the way, some which include love triangles, death, secrets, hunters and the biggest of them all... war against the vampire king.This is my first book so I'm sorry for any mistakes but I hope you enjoy my story! :)
8 198Grabbed(VancexReader)
What if the Grabber actually grabbed kids and just kept them? A Vance Hopper love story, if you want any other characters remake of this then lmk! AND NO SMUT, LET ME REMIND YOU HES 16 IN THIS FANFIC AND THE ACTUAL ACTOR IS 17. If your over 18 I would kindly advise you off this story now.
8 92Abstract Theories
Highest rank #10 in spiritual"Take me home, please-" She requested him in a broken voice. Haani paused to look in her direction for a moment but she refused to meet his gaze. Nodding more to himself, he understood at once what she meant by home. Walking towards her side of the car he opened the door for her. Without a word she got out and started walking towards the house before Haani could clasp his large hand around her arm to stop her. She abrupty stopped and turned around to face him. Her face as blank as a stone sculpture yet to carve. "It's not safe here." He informed her with genuine concern. "Then where is it safe? With you?"......Famous artist Haani Fateen knows that nothing comes for free, you always have to set a bait to catch your fish. So, when he finds the source of inspiration to his art, he sets his game. Sanari Abdul knows one thing, men are enslaved to their desires. So, when she finds herself trapped in his games, she can't escape anymore.
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