I felt miserable.

I felt like I have failed to protect her from trusting in me. I fail to let her feel she is secure with me. That's why she choose Martin,.. again.

I promise myself that I'll protect her but...

My hand was still bleeding and I watches the red blood dripping down the floor. The only pain that I had was in my heart. It feels so lonely.

I couldn't bear to watch y/n with Martin as they stood on the stage smiling together, warming up the crowd but my heart froze, so I run away. Away from her.

It was more than 30 minutes and I did nothing, nothing to cover up my bleeding hand nor my feelings. I don't think it can be ever healed. All I was thinking about was y/n.

So, is this how it feels when someone you love leaves you?!

It feels miserable.

It feels so dark.

All the past years, is this how y/n felt for Baekhyun when he left her?

She must have been hurt so bad... cause it hurt so so much.

Y/n, what did I even do to deserve you?

I was lost in my thoughts but it alert me when I heard a similar voice shouting coming from behind. It shouted the words repeatedly with fuming anger.

"Get your hands off me!"

I saw crowds blocking my view when I turned back. The only thing I saw was some officers dragging out a man as it keep shouting. I didn't think who the person was but the voice was familiar to my ears.

"Hyung!"

Jungkook's voice suddenly echoed as he march towards me. He was breathless when he reached me.

"Where have you been? I have been looking all over for you?" He said, breathily.

"I couldn't bear to watch her," I replied in a low voice which he probably didn't hear me. The pain keeps on stabbing my heart as I look down at my palm.

"My God, Hyung! What happened to your hand. It's bleeding!" He quickly grabbed my hand and took out a handkerchief of his own and wrapped it around my injured palm.

"Jungkook, Why did you ask her if Martin was the one? Did you know that she came back? Why didn't you tell me? Why... Why.. " I was barely holding back the tears that were asking I should let it out but I hold it back, "Why-Why didn't she tell me?"

"Hyung?"

Jungkook look up at me from my hand as I questioned. He paused, staring at me as I waited for him to say something, but it looked at me with a perplexed look.

"Why are you crying?" This was what only came out from him after a moment.

"I'm crying because I fucking love her so much! I'm crying because I'm in pain. I'm crying because I don't know what to feel other than being helpless! I literally love her so much that I don't know what I am supposed to do without her?! Like I just want her. Physical and emotionally she is all I fucking want!" I cried. I couldn't hold back my emotions any longer and I know I was crying ugly.

But Jungkook once again seems to be surprised yet confused at my sudden outburst of confession.

"Oh my God Hyung, you didn't stay till y/n confession?"

"How can I?!" I shouted with anger yet pain filled in it as my palm twisted into a fist.

That was when Jungkook understand Yoongi did not witness any of the truth and Martin was arrested. The only thing Jungkook feel right now was frustration because It was meant for yoongi to witness but he didn't. But seeing yoongi, he realized both lovers prefer to act strong instead of showing their weaknesses. Seeing yoongi so vulnerable for y/n, Jungkook smiled. Right now, the only thing he could do was comfort him and wait for y/n so she could tell him the truth herself.

Jungkook step forwards and hugged yoongi and gently begin patting his back and said.

"Hyung, look, this is the very reason why y/n didn't want to tell you. Hyung, I can't make you feel better by minimizing your pain but one person I know can do it. Now, I know all pain within one person matters a lot. Come on, I'll drop you off at your house."

The ride was silent until we reach home and Jungkook escorted me inside. I felt sorry that I have burdened him with my pain, but he have always been good at taking care of me, even when I almost lost my mother he was there for me and I am forever indebted to him.

"I'll bring you water." He said rushing to the kitchen.

I didn't say anything but stared at nothing as I sat down on the chair.

"Here," He came back with a glass of water. I didn't want to say no as Jungkook watches me, worrying about me so I silently took it and gulped down the water.

The water actually tasted weird.

I suppose this is how everything tastes when you are not feeling yourself. I didn't give much interest until the next second I feel my eyes getting heavy as my sight got blurred and I couldn't even see Jungkook's face.

"Sorry, Hyung." That was the last word Jungkook said before I passed out.

I struggle to open my eyes as I groaned and tried to move my body but I felt something around my arms preventing me to move. I was slowly able to open my eyes and the first thing I saw was y/n sitting on the table in front of me.

I realized I was tied up in a chair with a rope and that was what prevented me from moving. I was dreaming. I was dreaming about the same day I got kidnapped by y/n. The day she became my reason.

"Y/n?" I muttered.

At first, I have hated her so much.

But now, It hurt that she's no longer here.

"You lie to me, Yoongi." My dream spoke.

Weird! I remember clearly this was not what she said that time. She was evilly smirking but right now, the Y/n in front was upset in my dream.

Why?

Funny. Did the scene in my memory change?

I start laughing dry at the weird thought. What was in the water actually that Jungkook gave me? It's making me feel dizzy and hallucinate things. And this hallucination feels so real.

If only I wish she had a smile on her face instead of those upset and devastated eyes.

"What are you laughing about?"

Even her voice feels so real.

She leaned in and touched my forehead with the back of her palm which even feel so real that her touch radiates my sense. I wasn't dreaming.

So, why am I tied in a chair... again.

"Jk! I told you to give just a little amount of it." Y/n pout her lips in bitterness as she turned around the other side where I saw Jungkook peacefully drinking a banana milkshake.

What the fuck is happening here?

"Wasn't my fault. I did what you told me. Was the sleeping drug that strong?"

"Of course, it is! It was a drug!" Y/n sighed as Jungkook argued back.

She turned back at me as I look at her perplexed at the dilemma.

"Yoongi, can you hear me?" She asked, clapping my cheeks.

"Untie me," I order in a demanding voice as the pain of darkness took over me. She was surprised by the way I spoke, but I wasn't going to take any of her shit after what pain has caused me. But why Jungkook was helping her out. I glare at Jungkook and he immediately marches to the kitchen saying, "I'm..gonna get some more banana milkshake." He tried to avoid me.

"No. Not until you answer my questions." She crossed her arms around her chest as she fold her leg on top of the other, still carefreely sitting on the table.

"Why did you run away? Have you not had trust in me?! Did you really think I'll betray you?" she almost yelled.

"Why wouldn't I?! I'm tired of fighting! Even the smallest shift in you dring out the biggest perspective in me, y/n! I tried to trust in y/n and I still do, but I'm just so scared of losing you that I overthink! I tried my best, but I guess it was not enough to make you stay!!!" I shouted not noticing the tears in me again. I have never felt this way before for someone and this emotion was cause for y/n and she was the cause too. And maybe I have wished, she will be cause to heal. A struggle cry escaped from me as I waited to hear her. The pain was so tremendous that it felt like a knife has slid open my heart. I struggle not only to cry but my breathing was unstable too. I was letting it all out.

A tear roll down from her cheek and y/n instantly she hides her face from me and looks down, feeling mistaken.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way, but today when I look at you, you know what I felt? When I look at you I felt I was finally at home. I told myself that you are my home. That is what I see with you." In between her words, she sniffed and even her voice became weak, struggling and forcing herself to speak as she hide her cries. She got down from the table, still not looking at me, and walked out of the room.

I regret shouting at her after her confession. She makes me feel vulnerable in her best way as her words only torture me. I didn't understand if I was the bad guy here.

It was Jungkook who released me after a minute. I groaned and rubbed my face in devastation when I was free. I said nothing to jungkook as he stood beside me, watching my helpless catastrophe.

"It was your fault, you know." He suddenly said.

"You are saying I am the cause of all this?" I abruptly stood up and look at him with anger raging in me. Even the chair falls hitting the floor with the force.

"Martin Tuan has been arrested."

Jungkook announced.

I stayed silent for a moment, taking in the information as my anger vanished.

"What are you talking about? He's arrested? What happened?" I asked.

"Asked Y/n, What happened?" With that, he turned around and left. But he returned as his head peeked out from the door.

"Y/n is outside, in the pool area." With that, he completely vanished.

Martin is arrested? What happened in my absence? Was there something I have should be known?

I walked out, in the pool area, because that was the only choice I have right now to find out the answers. It was dark outside but brightened by the lit of moon in the sky, probably it has already passed midnight.

Y/n was no where when I went out. I look around but only found a pile of clothes on the ground.

Jesus Christ! My heart screamed in attack. She was under the water.

Without thinking twice, I jumped into the water and pulled her out. She gasped for air when I pulled her out of water.

"Y/n What the hell are you doing?!" I start shouting without knowing I was raising my voice at her.

But she looks at me unconcerned and answers me in a cool manner.

"I can hold my breath for 5 minutes."

"That doesn't explain why you were under the water?!" She stayed silent looking at me, but more like gazing into my soul. The pool water was cold as we stood in the middle of the water. I immediately take action as my heart told me, I pulled her and hugged her. Securing her in the cage of my arms. My heartbeat like I have run a marathon.

I smiled when she hugged me back.

"I'm sorry," She breathe out, but then starts crying in the next second as she hides her face in my chest and her warm tears start rolling down through my chest and into the water.

"Y/n, don't cry. You have no reason to cry." I said, breaking the hug and holding both of her shoulders to look at her but she continued to shed her tears as she shook her around.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your mom." she cried.

"My mom?" I grew confused.

"Thr-Three years ago,." She struggled to speak as she cry, "The person who hit your mother with the car was Martin. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner because I was afraid you'll end up doing something wrong. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry I hide it from you. I'm sorry for your mother. I'm sorry for everything. I have to get him arrested that's why I didn't tell you. I'm sorry,.. I just wanted you to be protected. I- I.."

"Shush," I try to hush her but she keeps on continue to cry and says sorry. Of course, the information was too much for me at the moment. I was rage and devastated but what mattered now was what I have right now beside me.

"Y/n, look at me." I hold her chin up as I make her look at me in the eyes as she continues to weep.

"You don't have to be sorry at all. You did what was right. And I should be the person to be sorry. I promised that trusting you was my decision if you ever betray me and proving me wrong was your choice, and you have proven to me that your love is greater than anything in this world. But of course, you indeed get crazy sometimes, but that doesn't mean I will ever stop loving you." She finally stop weeping and tried to smile in between her tears.

"Y/n, each day I know my love for you will grow even more because you are full of surprises and I'm never old for surprises." She immediately hug me when I was finished. I hugged her back as she cries the words out, "I love you, I love you so so much."

I smiled, realizing y/n is my pill of happiness and sadness. She is the only thing I ever need in my life.

The hug lasted more than minutes until..

"I'm sorry, but you guys are so beautiful." A voice cracked from behind and the voice was of Jungkook. We broke the hug and turned at him. He was dramatically fainting himself with his hand trying to hold back his tears as his other handhold a banana milkshake. Y/n and I shared laughter looking at him.

I turned at the person in my arms as she genuinely smile looking at Jungkook. Once again, I hold her chin making her look at me and I leaned in and claimed her lips. It was a short, slow and gentle kiss.

Everything in my life matters, even sadness because it is a memory. Even the pain because it taught me life lessons. And y/n existence was all I was thankful for. Her little gesture was what made me feel breathing for. Her scars were just not scars but a written Scripture of her past, pain, and the struggle she have gone through, and our love was the result of overcoming all barriers.

How can she say, I was never supposed to fall for her.

THE END