Lottie had messaged me earlier saying she wasn't coming over. She had high hopes Aunty would be "scolding some sense into me". Which never happened, albeit Aunty comforted me with love that I was so subconsciously desperately craving. Dad came home around midnight and we all had a really late dinner. He had showered me with kisses and hugs and multiple apologies for not being around more often. Which made me feel worse because he felt the need to apologize when he only did what he did so he could look after me.

I was in my room again, and for the first time in months, I felt like people were living in this house. The only thing missing now was Chris's laughter. I had my phone open in my hands as I struggled to type a message out to Blake. Would he answer?

Shaking my head, I try avoiding any thoughts that would prevent me from doing so. I typed a message and quickly sent it before I started to second guess myself.

Hey, how are you doing?

I waited for a reply as I sent the message, but there was none. Maybe he was already asleep. It was after twelve am. But that didn't stop me from pacing. I stepped out of my room for a change in scenery to cloud my thoughts with something other than Blake or Chris. My tracks stopped in front of my dad's room as I heard soft sniffles through the closed door.

"Lisa, I couldn't do anything good for her. I promised her mother I would look after her. I was so stupid! Trying to comfort her financially that I didn't even realize how lonely she must be in this house, alone, all the time" My back met the cold wall as I slid down, listening to their conversation with my head between my knees. Tears filling up my eyes. "I just want to turn back time, erase all the loneliness"

"Reese, you can't be too hard on yourself. Jackie understands all your efforts. She appreciates everything you've done for her." Aunty comforted him.

"Chris brought life into her. I thought she was happy before. But every time I saw her with Chris in this house, I hated myself. Because it showed how alone she felt in this house. I couldn't give my love to my daughter"

I wiped my tears, unable to hear my dad think so little of himself. I knocked on the door and slipped in once I heard them telling me to come in. They were both cuddled in bed, but I made no hesitations to force myself between them, cuddling both of them to the best of my abilities.

"Jackie, what are you-" Aunty laughed as I kissed her forehead, doing the same to dad.

"I don't want either of you complaining about not being able to give me enough love or not being there for me or blah blah blah" I cut her off. "You both provided me with so much love and I never want you to think that you didn't" I hugged my dad tighter "Especially you dad. Everyone has different forms of expressing love. And sure, you weren't here as much as we both would have liked, but you provided me with the best family I could ask for. Aunty and Lottie, and Mama and Papa. If it wasn't for all your efforts, then I wouldn't be who I am today"

No, I wasn't sugar-coating anything to make my dad feel better. It was true. Without him, I wouldn't have met Lottie's parents – mama and papa, Lottie, or Aunty. I guess it took a while to realize that I was never really alone.

"Since when did you grow up" My dad patted my head, placing a kiss. A smile finally gracing his lips.

The three of us just laid in bed, talking about various topics. From Chris and Blake to how my school was going to their careers. I was probably third-wheeling on their party, but they seemed to be happy having me there and I was happy being there between them, both of them making a sandwich out of me as they squished me. I don't know when we all dozed off, but I knew how I was feeling at that moment. A little kid snuggled up between her parents. Parents who loved her unconditionally. I only hoped that Chris knew how much Blake and I loved him. Love him unconditionally.

----------

The skies were grey this morning, but the birds seemed to chirp extra loud as I stood in front of his house. I never received a reply to my text last night and Blake decided not to come to school today. So, I did what anyone would do. Asked Caden to drop me off at his house and ended up skipping school, hoping my dad didn't find out.

My hands shook as my nerves kept getting to me. I didn't understand why I was so nervous to see him. My mind kept racing back to yesterday when Dante had kissed me. A wild inkling kept telling me that Blake saw. The car that drove off was him. I hoped to be wrong.

"What are you doing here" He finally answered the door looking like a mess. His black hair was dishevelled, his shirt nowhere to be seen as his clover-leaf pendant dangled against his chest, his voice still partly raspy, suggesting he woke up not too long ago.

"I wanted to see how you were doing..." He didn't look as inviting as he usually did. His glances said he wanted me to leave.

"How'd you get here?" He furrowed his brows at me, knowing well I didn't know how to drive or owned a car, and cabs make me uncomfortable because I didn't like riding with strangers. I really should work on that driver's license...

"Caden dropped me" My heart seemed to be racing fast as I struggled to cut through his thick ice tone.

"Baby, what's taking so long? who is it?" A hand appeared on his shoulder, soon followed by a face.

The girl he liked. Of course.

I manage a tight smile at her, trying to hold back the tears that stung my eyes at her presence. The wave of stupidity washed over me as it all became real. Chris was gone. I was gone. Alexa was here.

"I-I think I should go then, I guess I'll talk to you later" I muster up, turning around to walk away from the harsh reality in front of me. I start walking towards the driveway, trying to find a cab through my phone that would take me to school or home, or anywhere but here.

"Jackie, wait" He grabs my arm, halting me to a stop. "Come inside, I know you don't like cabs, and it's too far of a walk to your house or the school." He was standing in his driveway, shirtless and barefoot, looking like a mess

"Blake, I'll be fine. Don't worry. You should go back inside, Alexa's waiting for you." It annoyed me that jealousy took over my voice. He didn't need to know. Not when I knew he didn't feel the same way. I take my hand out of his grasp and continue to walk on the blurry sidewalk.

I hear a loud groan as I felt my bag get pulled, making it come off. "Jackie-"

I didn't want to be here. Not when she was here as well. Not when they were both together. "Blake, I'm ok. Really. I just remembered I have that homework due today so I should head back to school. I just wanted to know how you were doing" Lies. Well partly.

"You're really bad at lying" that was all he said before he threw me over his shoulder and made his way back into his house, while I continued to struggle out of his grasp, pleading him to put me down.

He finally did, once we reached inside. Alexa looked just about ready to kill me while I looked anywhere but meet her stare.

"You" Blake's voice urged me to look at him as he pointed at Alexa "Out" His tone was firm as he gestured her towards the door.

"But baby-" I felt like I shouldn't be here. This was awkward, I was caught in the middle of their lover's quarrel.

"No, Alexa. I told you before. We're done. We're not getting back together. And it's not ok for you to randomly show up at my house so early in the morning, or ever" I had never seen Blake so serious. This really was not the time for me to be so attracted to him... For me to be so turned on.

"But she's here! Did she not just do the same thing I did?!" No, please don't bring me into this. This is awkward enough as is, I did not want to be a topic of their conversation.

Blake rubbed the back of his neck as he tilted his head towards me, looking me over. A smile crept on his face, but he bit his lip to hide it. My stomach turned at his gaze. His expression hinted a bit of sadness and regret as he locked his eyes with mine "She's allowed"

I was too busy trying to control the storm that was happening within me that I didn't take notice of when Alexa left. I don't know how long I stood there just staring at him, probably like a creep. I finally came back to my senses when Blake was bent over in front of me, waving a hand and calling out my name.

I cleared my throat before speaking again "Y-you never replied to my text" He walked towards the living room, leading me as he held my hand, sitting me on the couch. He took out his phone, assuming to check the message

"I fell asleep pretty early last night, and only woke up a few minutes before you and Alexa showed up." A pitted feeling settled in my stomach as he mentioned me with her. He sat beside me, biting his inner lip as he forced a smile "I'm ok. How are you? Had us all worried, locked up in your room and all"

"I'm ok." There was this weird awkwardness between us. Like we both wanted to say something but there was no Chris to cover it up. "Chris must be happy to be back with his family" Blake looked around the room with softened eyes as his name escaped my mouth as if he wanted to avoid his topic, for now, giving a simple nod in response.

"So, how's it going with you and that guy... what's his name? Started with a D... Douchebag?" he quickly changed the subject but seemed to regret it as his fists were clenched, along with his jaw. He made no effort to show that he did not like Dante.

"I don't think I'll be seeing, or even talking to him again" I force it out. I needed to clean my slate with him. I liked Blake. I needed him to know that there was no one else... If he even liked me back...

A grin was plastered on his face as he scooted closer to me. Like a little kid, waiting to hear his favourite bedtime story. "So, no more you and Dante? I thought you'd be his girlfriend by now"

"There was never really me and him, to begin with..." He scooted closer as I squeezed my hands. My eyes trailing down his chest, the closer he got.

"Why'd you say no to him?" He seemed like he was waiting for an answer that would be music to his ears. But I wasn't going to tell him the little incident that happened yesterday. He didn't need to know that he was running through my mind while Dante kissed me, right?

Not having an answer for him, I switch the conversation to him "What about you and Alexa? Why'd you guys break up?" He once again scooted closer at my question, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear, leaning close to me, he finally spoke "because of you"

My eyes opened wide at the revelation as I sure did not want to be some home wrecker. I pushed my body back, bringing some space between our faces. "What do you mean because of me? Blake, I don't want to be some home wrecker. I told you to understand it from her perspective. And you can quit this act now, Chris isn't here" I rambled, making him cover his face with his hand letting out a groan, followed by a laugh.

"Are you serious?" His eyes desperately pleading me to tell him I was joking. What was there to joke about. I don't want to get involved with any feelings of regret from him. "God, Jackie. You're so clueless, it's frustrating"

He pulled me back to him, his hand softly cupping my face as my body relaxed. His lips slowly connecting with mine, kissing me softly before letting my lips go. My eyes were wide in shock. Did that just happen? My stomach turned his excitement as he continued.

"That day when I kissed you on the cheek, or any day I made any advances towards you, wasn't because of Chris" He placed a small kiss again, with every part of me not wanting him to stop.

"I broke up with her last time I kissed you, but I couldn't bring myself to tell you because you looked like you hated me" Another kiss.

"I didn't want to lose you as a friend. But I also can't keep telling myself you're just a friend" Another. It almost felt like he was teasing me.

"I can't be with Alexa or any other girl. Because you're the only girl I want to be with." There was that slow kiss again.

"I love you, Jaqueline West. Now and Forever" He rested his forehead against mine as I felt my cheeks heat up at his statement. Statement? No, his confession? I don't know. My brain was foggy with Blake the only one on my mind.

"If we're going to do this, you're never allowed to call me Jaqueline" I wrap my arms around his neck, my body pushing onto his as my lips connected with his.

"No promises" He pulled me onto his lap, a smirk tugging his lip as kissed me deeply and passionately. Much better than the slow teasing pace.