TWELVE

Unimaginable Mistakes

"So, you just have to find the derivative of this question now?" I asked Blake and he nods in response. "This is so easy, just the word problems are hard" I add.

Blake was currently at my house, helping me with my calculus homework. We weren't in the same class but he had it with the same teacher. So we were sprawled across my bedroom floor, while Chris was on my bed, colouring.

Dad got really close with Chris and treats him like he was actually his grandson, it's weird but it's cute. It has been a whole week and a few days since dad met both Blake and Chris, and I would think that everything's going pretty well. He was currently on a business trip with Auntie and honestly, those two were so cute together. I'm happy that if dad's with anyone, it's Auntie.

It was currently 1 in the afternoon and raining now and then outside. Blake had called earlier asking what both Chris and I were doing and that he missed Chris. Upon hearing that I was struggling to do my calculus homework on a Saturday, he asked me if it was ok if he came over; that way he could spend time with Chris and help me with my homework, and take him home after we were finished. Of course, I said sure.

"Looks like we're done..." I tell him, as I closed my books and put them back in my backpack, placing my backpack in its spot by my desk.

"Looks like it.." He adds, but he seems to be out of it.

I walk over to Chris and placed a kiss on his head. "How's it going?" I sit down beside him.

"When I get older I want a bike like this" He holds up the picture he was colouring, I smile at him as Blake walks over and takes a seat on the other side of Chris. He looks at the picture that Chris had coloured.

"Hey, little man, what do you say we go look at bikes someday. And then we'll go on rides in dangerous places just to annoy your mom." Blake says, winking at me with a smirk. As instinct of being annoyed already, I grabbed a pillow from behind me and whipped at Blake's face. Chris let out a squeal in excitement.

"Daddy, you're not supposed to annoy mom, you're supposed to love her," Chris tells him.

"Exactly!" I agreed with him before realizing what the last part was. I can tell Blake knows that I didn't realize that Chris had said 'you're supposed to love her' and lets out a chuckle, smacking the pillow back in my face.

I see Chris reach for a pillow behind him and jump up on the bed "PILLOW FIGHT!" He screams and starts flinging his pillow everywhere.

Neither Blake nor I wanted to lose and grabbed a pillow. I quickly grabbed the colour pencils and paper from my bed and placed them on the bedside table. I faced the two boys and hit whoever I could. The room was filled with laughter, giggles and screams for at least half an hour.

Chris kept jumping on the bed, but I saw his foot slip and a gasp escapes my throat. I quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him close. It was so fast and sudden that when I took in what happened, I realized Blake had grabbed his other hand pulled him close to himself too. We were both holding Chris close to us, almost like a family hug.

I wanted this. I wanted a family just like this. 

I look up to see Blake looking down at me. We both let go of Chris and fell back on the bed. Chris dived in between us, one hand on Blake and the other on me.

I couldn't help but notice Blake smiling sadly at Chris. He was playing with his hair in the most gentle way possible and a few minutes later, all that was heard in the room was tiny little snores. I moved Chris's hand from me and turned him gently so he would be laying on his side rather than on his stomach. I got out of bed and made my way downstairs to grab a glass of water.

I hear Blake come inside the kitchen and I offer the now filled glass of water to him. He takes it and I take another out for myself.

I still couldn't help but notice that he seemed upset, stressed.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask him.

"Yeah, why?" He forces a smile as he takes a sip from the glass.

"You just seem upset"

"No, I'm fine. Just confused-"

"About?"

"Just everything with this situation and Alexa. Just seems so much" I didn't know what to say except an "Oh"

"I just, I just want my mind to be clear and choose already!" He puts his glass on the table and runs his hand through his hair in frustration.

"Anything I can help with?" I ask. His head shoots up at me and walks up to me, stopping a foot away from me.

"Actually yes! How do I choose?"

"Choose between?"

"But I don't want to make the wrong choice! Nothing lasts over" He was ranting now, walking back and forth.

"Blake, calm down" I put my hands on his arms, trying to steady him. After that, I just saw his hands lift and his fingers lifted my chin at the same time his lips connected with mine.

I stood there with my eyes open in shock. I forced them to stay open, not having enough strength to push him away.

He backs up, realizing what he had just done. "Sorry, I got carried away"

YOU THINK??

I couldn't speak. I was still frozen. He just kissed me. He has a girlfriend. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND HE JUST KISSED ME.

"You have a girlfriend.." I stated the obvious. This was wrong. He shouldn't have done that.

"I know I just... I was confused and I needed to know" He seemed to be confused himself. He himself didn't seem to know why he had just kissed me.

"You don't kiss someone else if you have a girlfriend.." I kept stating the obvious as it popped into my mind.

I was kind of mad and upset that he had just done that. I never thought he would do that.

"I know- I'm sorry" He was frustrated. He kept running his hands through his hair, and I could tell he wanted to turn back time.

"You shouldn't be saying sorry to me. You should be-"

"Mommy!! Daddy!! Noo!!" Chris was screaming. Blake and I shared a look, as it drifted towards the staircase. "Mommy!!" And that was all it took for Blake and me to run up the stairs.

"Chris?" I called as I entered the room. He was still sleeping but he was restless. He was sweating as tears were coming out of his eyes.

"Chris, baby, it's ok" I try to calm him down.

"Chris, it's ok. It's just a dream" Blake tries to soothe.

His eyes start to open as even more tears fall out of his eyes.

"Mommy! Daddy!" He looks at us and immediately jumps up to hug us.

"It's ok, we're here" I soothe in his ear as I wrap an arm around him, and Blake does the same from the other side. His hand landed on mine.

"I thought I lost you again," He says between sniffles. I move my hand slightly so it wouldn't be touching his.