Will

I don't think she feels the same way about me.

For the past month and a half I've been trying to give Thea subtle hints. I touch her more often to see how she reacts to me, we hangout often seeing each other at least three times a week. I sometimes wait for her after her yoga classes so that we can go out for lunch.

I'm happy that she doesn't have any lingering feelings for Zach and I'm noticing that she seems lighter nowadays. I think she just needed to talk to someone about it and to cry it out of her system.

Last time, I accepted the friend zone. I stepped back and accepted her relationship with Zach. This time, I'm worried that if I come off too strong she'll run. However, if I don't even try, I lose the chance of ever being with her.

There are so many different things to think about. If she does notice my attraction to her, I wouldn't want to be some rebound. Lana is right, basketball consumes me and when I hangout with Thea I forget about how stressed I am about getting an invitation to the combine. I don't know if I could handle being just some kind of hookup to her.

Then there's the worst of it all. Me screwing up our friendship to even try anything out.

There have been so many moments where I've come so close to kissing her but end up chickening out.

I'll see her rubbing her lips together (something that she probably doesn't even realize that she does) while she's focused on an assignment and I can't help but stare at her plump lips and imagining what they would feel like against mine.

When I'm desperate, I'll think about the first night we met on Halloween when she kissed me on that dare. I remember how she tasted like candy and the soft and happy sounds she made when I took the kiss further. They're engrained into my brain.

I'm usually confident around women and on what the next steps are but it usually ends in a fling. I tried reconnecting with Ashley again from freshman year but we didn't mesh well. I felt like she was with me for my status the way other people have sucked up to me in the past.

With Thea, she barely knew who I was in the beginning. She thought I was a damn baseball or badminton player.

I want that extra layer of intimacy that boyfriends and girlfriends share. I want to be able to hold her and kiss her whenever I want. On days that I have to hit the gym early I want to come back to her still in my bed, lounging the way she does when she's too lazy to get up.

The guys have noticed how strung up I've been about her. I haven't been with anyone since before the first night we bumped into each other at Karma and they've noticed how often she comes over to sometimes watch a movie in my room or the way she'll randomly stop by with takeout.

I adore her.

That's it. I admit it. I want her so bad but I don't think she wants me and it's hard building up these feelings with her again only to think about how when she's ready, she'll be back on dates with some random guy.

The thought brings me dread. To see her with someone else who isn't me this time will feel like a punch to the stomach.

Her 21st birthday is coming up in two weeks and I'm planning on throwing a surprise party at my house for her. Her roommates and I have been in touch about it and I'm excited to see her reaction. You can never tell with her, she'll either tear up (despite her hating to cry in front of people) or she'll laugh in joy.

Either way, she deserves something special.

I'm sitting in the campus cafe with a coffee in my hand while scrolling through my phone to check my grades when I feel a small hand on my back. At first, a rush of excitement hits me because I think it's Thea who got out of work a little early.

On the days she has her early class, I'm able to meet up with her after practice.

"Heyy, Willl" a flirty, higher toned voice greets me.

I deflate a little when I see who it is, it's Ashley and after I broke things off with her 6 months ago, she's been trying to get us back together by texting me non stop. I'm usually able to avoid her but once in a while she'll catch me off guard.

I've been direct with her in the past in how I'm not interested in anything with her. Sometimes I just want to be a jerk so that she'll finally leave me alone but I can't bring myself to be an asshole to her.

Sure, she's used me to better her image but I know better than to be a dick to a woman.

"Hey, how's it going Ash?" I ask as politely as I can

She slides into the booth next to me, right into my personal space and wraps her arms around my right one. I try to shift out of her hold but she only tightens it around me.

"I'm great! I was thinking we should hang out soon. Maybe you can come over to my place the way you used to." She says, with a coy smirk on her face

I'm not really sure why I continued this thing between us for so long.

I sigh, "Look Ash, I've already told you this but I'm not interested in what we were doing before."

She gives me a pleading look in her eyes and laughs.

"Come on baby, what we had was so good." She bats her lashes at me and tries to cling to me harder.

xxx

Thea

With a big smile on my face I open the door to walk into the campus cafe that I'm meeting Will at. It's only 9am and I'm having such a great day. I had some of my favorite regulars come in today (including Alana) and it's always relaxing doing a class with people that appreciate me as an instructor.

Unfortunately, Alana and her friends had to leave early to prepare for an exam this afternoon which is why I'm making the hike to meet up with Will alone. The three of us haven't had the chance to hangout yet. One of us always has something that comes up but I can't wait to see how the Jameson siblings interact with each other.

Alana is all sunshiney and doesn't seem to give a shit what anyone thinks about her. Will is the overprotective, overbearing brother that probably tries to calm her down.

I snicker at the thought of them arguing over something stupid, like Alana trying to flirt with one of his teammates.

As I look towards the back of the cafe where Will and I typically sit, I feel my smile drop at the sight of a blond all sidled up right next to him.

He's been so good to me and I love spending time with him. A piece of me feels like he's mine and seeing him with another woman makes me not want to share him.

Jealously travels through me at the sight of him with her. Then disappointment hits. I didn't think about how he might be spending his free time. We hangout a lot but I guess when I leave his house at night I never thought how he could be inviting other guests over.

I don't even know why I'm so upset, it's not like he's my boyfriend. He's just my friend who I like to see a lot. Plus, I doubt that he has any feelings for me. My chest prickles in a thorny pain.

Feeling a little sad and not wanting to interrupt him, I send a quick text letting him know that I can't meet up with him anymore.

I quickly leave the cafe before he spots me and head off to my car to go home. This was a perfect reminder that I need to stay focused on school and being independent.

Having feelings for someone only to get hurt again is what I am absolutely trying to avoid and Will being someone who's friendship I value so much is a recipe for disaster. Maybe I can find someone who I won't get attached to and can just have fun with.

I want to enjoy sex again. To be frank, I'm horny and maybe if I hook up with someone, I won't be thinking about Will too much. It'll help keep my boundaries solid and clear.

New plan: as Kari and Sisi would say "Find rebound dick."

Kari has been going off on how it's a great idea to find someone to and I quote her "get my rocks off with". I roll my eyes, thinking about her crazyness.

Only Kari and Sisi would talk me into embracing my new single freedom. They're not wrong, I should.

So then why does the thought of being with a stranger feel wrong?

xxx

Hey guys! It's a short one. I know, I'll try to continue to update again this week. Till next time!