Thea

"Hey girl, are you okay?"

After being humiliated and broken, I rushed out of Zach's house with no place in mind. I just needed a second to compose myself before getting into an Uber and making my way back home.

I'd rather not have someone seeing me look like a complete shit show but of course, someone did seem to have witnessed everything.

Somehow, I made it to the park right around the corner from Zach's house. I don't even remember the walk here and any other day I would be terrified to be sitting in such a dark place alone but my hurt and embarrassment are overpowering every other emotion at the moment.

I turn to the tall girl on my right side where I'm sitting on a bench, wiping the tears streaming down my face and the ugly sniffles that are beginning to clog up my nose.

I can't really see her well in the dim lighting from the far lamppost on the street but I can make out that she's a tall and pretty girl with dark hair.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just a really shitty night." I answer, wincing at my croaky and stuffy voice

I'm grateful that it's at least dark enough for her to not see my face. I'm sure my eye makeup is smeared everywhere and I look exactly the way I sound. Like I've been crying like a complete mess.

"I was around the corner and leaving the lax house when I heard the end of your argument with your...yeah. I just wanted to make sure that you were safe." She tries to soften her voice but I can hear the powerful and commanding tone behind it. Like she's angry for me.

I try to sniffle again, breathing through my nose but my tears have completely left me clogged up leaving me no choice but to breathe through my mouth. It's been awhile since I've cried this hard.

I sigh. "I really appreciate you coming out here to check up on me. I just needed a minute to get myself together."

"Of course, can I give you a ride back home? My friends wanted to stay out and party a little longer and I told them that I was on my way out. I'm assuming you go to Central and live near campus?"

"If it's really not too much for you and not out of your way I would be so grateful. I don't think I need another person witnessing how much of a mess this night has become."

I know it's not a good idea to be in such a vulnerable state and get into a stranger's car but I trust her. I can feel that she's genuine.

"Not at all, girls support girls! My car isn't too far from here."

She grabs my duffel bag and loops her arm around mine like we've known each other forever.

"Are you okay to drive? Have you been drinking?" I ask the stranger

"Nah, I wasn't really feeling it tonight. I had like one beer and that was like 2 hours ago."

She doesn't seem to extend the conversation any further and I get the sense that it's because she's trying to be polite and giving me my space in case I'm not in the mood to talk. I don't think I've ever seen her around before, so she must be a freshman. She's just so nice. I'm grateful that she's not prying me for any information about what happened or that she's trying to coddle me.

I think I would just cry harder. My parents never taught me how to deal with my emotions so most of the time I like to be alone in my own thoughts. When I had any arguments with Zach, my first reaction was to just leave and be alone. Probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but it's not like that matters anymore.

My brain feels like it's half turned off and it feels like I'm not truly in my body but observing myself from some different perspective and even though I'm having a shitty night with most of my focus being on a broken heart, I continue the conversation anyway. I can't just ignore the nice stranger while she's giving me a ride home.

"So, what's your name and what year are you? I live at the corner of Cherry street, if you know where that is."

She gives me a small smile and steers me towards a new and sheek white Mercedes. Ah, she comes from money.

"Got it, and my names Lana. I'm a freshman and I love it here! I'm originally from the west coast but wanted to get a taste of the northeast so here I am! I'm a bio major and hoping to be a nurse or a physician's assistant. What about you?" She says with her cheery voice

This catches my attention and drags me away from my night's predicament. Lana? As in, Alana? There's no way this is Will's sister, he mentioned that she's in a sorority. Typically, sorority girls will go party at frat houses, not with the athletes. And if she does, he said she would most likely be with the basketball crowd.

"I'm Thea and a junior. I'm a computer science major, hoping to be a software engineer but it's a struggle out here. I feel like I'm drowning in school work so take in that freshman experience before your course work begins to pile up. By the way, I just want to thank you for this and I'm sorry that you had to be dragged into my drama."

Since I stopped crying and used my shirt to wipe my messy face, I sound kind of back to normal. Ish. I need to make myself look presentable before I get home in case anyone at home is still awake.

I'm not ready to talk to anyone about this yet. I need to adjust to my emotions first.

"Thea, huh?" She softly says to herself and if I wasn't listening, I might not have caught it.

"Seriously, don't worry about it. I'm just glad I was around to help and I'm enjoying my time as much as I can now. I kind of have to balance a bunch of things at the moment but I'm a little OCD and have my schedules planned to the very minute. Is right here a good place to drop you off?" She asks, pulling up to the front of the house

I step out of the car with all my stuff, shut the door and bend down to see her through the open window.

"Yes, again, thank you so much for the ride. I totally owe you one. I teach yoga at the school's gym so please feel free to visit me sometime and I can get you some coffee or something! My full name is Thea Chan, you should be able to find my class schedule online if you're interested! Bye!" I quickly say before I burst into tears again and she has to see me in another vulnerable moment.

I turn around and I think I catch a "Bye!" before I step up onto my porch and get the front door open. Just as I step in, I hear Lana's car drive off into the night.

All the lights are off, so it seems like everyone is asleep. I'm not surprised, everyone must be exhausted from the clubbing and taking care of Sienna.

I toss my shoes on our rack and make my way to our second floor. I love this place and it makes it even better that I get to live with my best friends. I'm starting to regret not being here as often. Zach always wanted me to stay at his place despite it being dirtier. It annoyed me how he didn't want to split our time between his place and mine.

Well, fuck him. He's stuck in that disgusting party house while I won't have to wear shower shoes in my own bathroom anymore.

Since the girls and I are all use to sharing our space, Stella and I have our bedrooms on the second floor and share a bathroom up there while Kari and Sienna are on the first floor sharing the downstairs bathroom. The house isn't very large but it's perfect for us.

I quietly make my way upstairs, grateful that our bedrooms are divided by the bathroom. We don't share a wall. Stella won't wake up to my crying tonight.

I open my bedroom door and toss my bag beside my bed and throw my keys onto my desk in the corner of my room. I check my phone to see that it's 3am. Nice, the worst night of my life seemed to have happened within a span of an hour and a half.

I don't know how I'll do it, but I have to be up by 10am tomorrow to make it to my 11am class.

Needing to wash the night off of me, I strip out of my clothes, grab a towel and head into the bathroom for a long hot shower.

You know in books when a character gets into a shower crying saying that they can't distinguish their tears between the water washing them?

That doesn't happen to me. Despite cranking the water to the highest temperature, hoping to drown my tears and sobs away, I can feel each individual tear when they make their way out of my eyes.

It's hard to explain what I feel in my chest. Like my heart is being tugged on by some invisible string and before it's yanked fully out of me, the line is loosened so that I can continue to feel the pain over and over again. A cycle of tug of war with my most tender emotions.

I might be mourning the fact that my first love had cheated on me, pulling out my insecurities into the light again. But there's a piece of me that's also mourning the wasted time and the mistreatment that I gave to my special friend who I lost because of Zach. I took my chances on a guy that I thought would cherish me, only for me to end up getting fucked over. Now, neither of them are no longer in my life.

***

Hello, my lovely friends. Ever had your heart broken before? I have, and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. It's been a few years and I can still remember the pain I felt in those moments. I feel like I wasn't able to describe it enough here, and maybe I'll come back and edit this chapter enough for you to really feel it. If you're reading this, and ever had your heart broken before and are comfortable with sharing, I would love to hear your story and if our feelings were similar (though I'm sure they are). Thank you for reading my story. Please upvote if you liked this chapter :))

xx