Thea

After doing some routines in the studio and freshening up, I hop into the car with my overnight bag and drive to Zach's place. The neighborhood seems nice but you can definitely tell that it's a party street.

I cringe at the trash that litters the streets and sidewalks. Can't these people just throw out their cups and cans in the trash like respectable people? 

I pull into a side parking spot in front of Zach's house and text him that I have arrived. As I step onto the creaky porch, the front door swings open and Zach pulls me into a tight hug.

"Hey, babe. I've missed you!" 

I tilt my head up in a welcome kiss and look up at his pretty brown eyes. 

"Hey, I've missed you too."

He grabs my bag and takes my hand in his while pulling me into the house and leads me to what I'm assuming is his bedroom.

On our way there, we pass some of his teammates sitting around and playing video games on their large tv in the living room. I immediately see Chase and greet him. 

"Hey, Thea. Nice to see you" he says, while lounging on a chair, a beer in his hand. Just as I'm about to continue our conversation, a busty brunette wearing a sorority shirt walks out of the bathroom and places herself on his lap. 

She turns to kiss him and reciprocates, ending the chance to continue talking. I'm not one to feel comfortable around PDA but I'm nosey and when I take a closer look at this chick's face I notice that she looks nothing like Chase's new girl friend. 

After Stells and I hung out with him and Zach the night of the game that they invited us to, about a month later he started dating this girl. The only reason I know about this is because I follow her on instagram. I think her name was Jade? She and I have a few mutual friends from class so we follow each other on some socials. 

Hmm, interesting. Maybe they broke up already? Although I could've sworn she posted a pic of him on her story two days ago. Then again, I'm not known for my impeccable memory. 

Zach gently pushes me through the door way of his bedroom after we climb up the stairs and I immediately scope out the room. Zach isn't the cleanest guy per se, but I like him enough to over look that issue. Especially since lean more on the neat freak side. 

He encircles his arms around me from behind, kissing my ear and jaw and I enjoy the feeling of being held. It took me some time to be affectionate since it hasn't been something that I've seen between my parents in my own household. Nowadays, I seem to crave his presence. 

"What do you wanna do, babe? The guys and I started sharing an HBO account so we can watch a new show if you want?" 

I take a deep breath before releasing it. My palms are a little damp from my nervousness. If I don't say anything now, I might chicken out later in the night even though I know that I'm ready to take things to the next level.

"Zach, I'm actually ready." I whisper breathe out

He automatically knows what I'm referring to and turns me. He slides his hands up and down my arms. 

"Are you sure? I don't mind waiting if that's what you want."

"Yes, I am."

At this, he immediately crushes his lips to mine and leads me to the bed. His tongue tangling with mine as I tug gently on his hair. 

We've seen each other naked before but I still always get a little self conscious before he sees me entirely. 

After a few moments, he sits back on his knees to look at me, his eyes scanning my body. 

"You're so hot babe. I've been wanting this for awhile."

He strips me out of my clothes while nipping my body here and there, taking his time. 

My core clenches and my back arches while he sucks on my sensitive nipples, switching back and forth between them. I moan as silently as possible to not stir his roommates attention from downstairs.

He then removes his shirt and I admire his muscular physique. I've seen this all before, but the view never gets old. Once he get's to his boxers and pushes them down, his dick juts out standing at attention and I mentally calm myself before he gets up to walk across the room. 

Zach grabs a condom from his desk drawer, slips it on and gets on the bed, hovering over me. 

"I'll go slow." He says, while kissing and sucking on my neck

I spread my legs as he rubs the inside of my thigh with his left hand while grabbing his dick in his right, guiding himself through my glistening folds. As he begins to push in I shut my eyes and let my body relax, recalling what the girls told me to do.

They all mentioned how the first time for them was painful and what I should do right before he pushes in. I shut my eyes as I feel him move himself slowly into me and my eyelids tighten as I feel a slight pinch. 

Zach kisses me while whispering how well I'm doing and how good I feel. And after some more movement, my body loosens more and it starts to feel good. The fullness and stretch of my body felt odd at first. I've used my fingers on myself before but it's nothing compared to the feeling of something this large being inside me. 

After we finish, Zach quickly gets up to discard the condom and grabs a wash cloth to clean me up. We lounge around and talk for a bit before passing out. Overall, I'm content with life. I have a hot boyfriend, great friends, a good job and I'm doing well in my classes. The only thing I'm missing from my life right now is Will, but if he can easily disregard me like he did today, I can do the same. After all, a relationship works both ways. 

***

A year and seven months later 

March

Thea

"Theaaa, hurry your ass up. We're gonna be late!" Kari shouts from her room 

"Coming, coming!" I shout back while quickly slipping my thigh high boots on 

I grab my card wallet with my ID, credit cards and some cash and slip it into my deep back pocket. It's Sienna's birthday, she's turning 21 today and while neither me or Stella have turned 21 yet, we both have fake IDs. Vivi gave me hers this year and I'm grateful that we look similar.

"Ooo girl, your ass looks great in those jeans." Stella comments while giving a tap to my ass cheek 

"Not as great as yours." I say while giving her butt a squeeze 

"Okay ladies, the Uber is outside right now. Remember, the plan is to keep an eye on this one right here." Kari says while using her thumb to point at Sienna behind her who is currently adjusting her boobs in her low cut top 

"I'll stay the most sober just in case, so feel free to let loose." Stella responds 

"Perfect! Now let's get the birthday girl wasted!" Kari screeches 

After three pre game shots, the four of us get into the Uber and arrive at Karma, a mixture between a bar and club. We get through the outside line with the bouncer taking a brief look at our IDs and giving Sienna a once over before wishing her a happy birthday with a wink. 

As we walk in, Dior by Pop Smoke is blasting through the speakers while people are singing and dancing a long to the music. 

The three shots from earlier are giving me a nice buzz and I'm excited for a night out with my girls. Kari pulls Sienna to the bar to probably get us some drinks leaving me and Stella to follow them. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I take a look to see a message from Zach.

: Hey, the guys and I are at the reserved couches. We're going to leave a little early since there's a party going on at the house right now 

I inwardly sigh. After about 6 months into our relationship, the girls started disliking Zach. There were even times where Kari and Zach would openly show their distaste for each other. 

Since Josh and her broke up a year or so ago, she began to notice some "red" flags that she saw in her own relationship with us.

She's mentioned how unreliable he is where he'll tell me that he'll pick me up from campus to go to his house or that he'll meet me at the library for a study date but 90% of the time he ends up bailing. I'm always excited to spend time with him but he ends up leaving me disappointed. 

I've also noticed recently how rude he can be to waiters and waitresses. At the beginning of our relationship he was pretty polite to people but nowadays he'll give workers a hard time if things don't go exactly the way he wanted it. 

Last month he yelled at a teenage girl who made his smoothie incorrectly. He hates bananas and she accidentally mixed it into his drink. The shop was ridiculously busy at the time so it wasn't completely her fault for the mix up. 

I felt so bad that I apologized for his behavior and gave the shop a generous tip. I was so embarrassed. 

Kari is not wrong though. 

Zach has been unreliable. Case in point, right now where he doesn't want to spend time with me and one of my best friends for her birthday. He's known about this for two weeks and has agreed to stay with me the whole night but of course he's telling me last minute that he's going to leave early. 

Most of his excuses in these situations are that he's a senior and wants to live up his final year which I get, but he's also sticking around here for his masters so it's not like he's leaving to go back home for good. 

We also haven't had sex in the past three months. I can't help but constantly hear Kari's opinion on that. If he's not getting it from you, he's getting it from someone else. I'm sorry T, but knowing how sexually active you guys were just rubs me off the wrong way. Just be aware.

We did have sex pretty frequently but it kind of died out over the past few months. I get the feeling that he's not into the relationship as much anymore. There have been times where I've initiated but he would claim that he's too tired. 

This is coming from the guy who would want to fuck three times in a day. The guy is an athlete after all, his stamina is on a different level. 

I push these thoughts away feeling sick. I can't just accuse him of this, even though I get a weird feeling when I'm with him sometimes. 

: Okay, I see you. Coming over rn

As I make my way to Zach and a few friends that he invited, I notice a blond girl that he's chatting with. I know that it wasn't Kari's intention to make me second guess my relationship and I know that she's looking out for me but I hate feeling like there's a possibility that she's right. 

I do my best to ignore this sickening sense and the voice in the back of my head. I strut through the crowd with the confidence that my friends have given me over the past year. Head held high, hips swaying. I still remember the girl at the start of freshman year who hated being the first person to walk into a party.

I felt like I didn't belong and would trail after my friends. In other words, hide behind their amazing boldness. Nowadays, I embrace who I am. I hate to admit it, but Zach also gave me a surge of confidence at the beginning of our relationship. Giving me compliments to make me feel like I shouldn't be afraid to show people who I really am instead of constantly holding back.

Unfortunately, like the rest of our relationship that I'm trying to keep in tact, those compliments have began slipping away too. Holding onto this relationship is like trying to grasp a wet bar of soap. No matter how hard you try to hold on, it always slips away- just out of reach. 

I clutch on to the fact that I know that I look good in these clothes. I know that I am my own bad bitch the way Sienna, Kari and Stella are. I am not the young woman that my parents wanted to hide away from the world. The one who should act in a certain way to not get anyone's attention.

Just as I'm about to cross in front of a few other couches to get where Zach is, I hear my name being yelled out.

"Yo Thea!" 

I spin around to see where the voice is coming from, but it's difficult over the pounding bass. 

Just as I'm about to walk towards Zach, I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around. 

"Long time no see!"

I look up to see Devon wearing a fat grin. 

"Oh my god! How are you?" I ask in surprise and go in for a quick hug

I haven't seen Devon in over a year now. Neither of us run in the same circles anymore since Sienna stopped hooking up with him. I haven't had the chance to speak to him either. Whenever I see him in passing it's usually at the gym and I'm either too busy teaching a yoga class or he's on his way to practice.

He looks exactly the same but his hair is slightly longer. 

"I'm great! I'm actually here with Quinn, Will and some of the other guys. We're celebrating a win tonight. You come here often?"

My heart stops at Will's name. I haven't seen him either. Every once in a while I still feel the pain of our broken friendship. 

I've tried talking to Zach about my insecurities about not living up to my parents expectations- something that I use to rant to Will about and every time I bring it up, he always tries to one up me with his own problems.

Usually he'll mention how frustrated he is that his parents are making him get his masters and how they get mad about his grades at times. I get that he has his own problems but he never really listens to me the way Will did. 

"Congrats! I'm here with the girls and Zach. We're celebrating Sisi's birthday."

At the mention of Sisi's name, I notice Devon's expression slightly change. Sienna never wanted to share the full story between them but I get the sense that Devon may have wanted more at one point. Poor guy.

"Well if I see Sienna I'll make sure to wish her a happy birthday. Let me know if you need anything, T. Don't be a stranger." 

As Devon turns around and walks to the couch his group is in, I make accidental eye contact with familiar green eyes. 

Shit, I was hoping to completely avoid him tonight.

Will is leaning back, long legs man spreading with his arm around a girl and a drink in his right hand. He gives me a small smile and slightly tilts his chin up in a greeting. 

I wave back as normally as I can, hoping that he doesn't see the awkwardness in my body language. 

Just then, I get a whiff of Zach's cologne before he grabs me into his arms, his hand coming to grip my ass. 

"Hey Babe" he says in greeting before pulling me into a kiss.

Hmm, he hasn't done this in awhile.