still for Amara. Everything felt strange. Odd even. She was hugged and kissed by her loved ones, that she didn't really have a second to register to what had happened.

She died.

Her hand went to the spot where Karawn had stabbed her, but it wasn't there anymore. Her eyes slowly move to Freya's limp body.

She did that.

She was responsible for that.

Her fault.

Her fault.

Despite being filled with some type of glee and happiness of her friends being thrilled that she was alive, she felt hallow inside.

Orson did not let go of her.

The boy held onto Amara's hand as Poe swung one of her arms around his shoulders to help her up. Amara was still a little weak.

The walk back was a combination of liberating, but also guilt wrenching. Amara's eyes stayed low to the floor.

They past everything saber slash in the walls, bodies on the floor, every mark that indicated that Amara fought and was a victor.

These bodies. She was responsible for them as well.

Her fault.

Her fault.

She felt eyes lurking on her with concern.

It had to be Poe and Ben mainly. They hadn't said much since she took her first breath since coming back, but as relived as they were, they were also worried about how she was mentally.

{A NEW ORDER}

observing Amara's wounds, or rather lack there of wounds. She and Finn were left alone in the lounge of the Falcon.

Poe was piloting with Ben and Rey keeping him company. Meanwhile, Ahsoka was taking Chewbacca with her and Freya's body. They were all going back to Ajan Kloss. Ahsoka wanted to allow Freya to have a funeral. She deserved much more than that.

Finn was closing the kit and turned back to Amara.

"Why did you do it?" Finn asks.

Amara frowns, "I didn't think we had much of a choice."

Finn looks down, "We did, Amara. You just decided to jump at the chance to go alone." He says.

Amara looks away, "I know."

"Look, you and Rey are sometimes so different, but- but this- running off and getting-," Finn ran a hand through his hair, "I- I just kept thinking about Exegol."

Amara looks at the young man.

He looked hurt. Tortured with emotions.

"I kept thinking about how it felt feeling Rey just-," Finn pauses his words, "And the idea of feeling it with you and- and then actually feeling it."

Amara looks away, "I wasn't thinking of anything besides making the galaxy a little bit safer." She says, "I wanted Poe, you, Rey, Orson, Ben, everyone to be safe."

"But what about you?" Finn asks.

Amara looks at him a little startled.

"You deserve happiness." Finn says, "You don't have to throw your life away just to protect us."

Amara kept her frown on her face, "I'm aware of that." She sighs, "I- I felt like I had to prove something. Do something to maybe correct what I felt was wronged on Exegol."

Finn furrows his brows.

"Ben was willing to do what Freya did for me," Amara confesses, "I- I stopped him. I suggested we both bring Rey back. In doing so, no one died."

Finn looked stunned.

"I- I was selfish. I wanted my brother back after just getting him back. I wanted Rey to have everything she ever wanted. I- I wanted- I wanted," Amara stops.

Finn steps over, "Wanting a family isn't selfish, Amara. You've taught me that." He says.

Tears slide down Amara's face. Amara doesn't try to stop it or hide from Finn, it just happens. Finn placed his hands on her shoulders and then pulls her in for a hug.

"I- I didn't mean to," Amara sobs, "I- I am so sorry."

{A NEW ORDER}

for their return was something alright. Everyone that was still on the base on Ajan Kloss was there to greet them. Rose, Jess, Lando, Jannah, everyone.

"Welcome back!"

"We knew you could do it!"

"We're so glad you're okay!"

The voices began to echo and begin to dull out in Amara's head. She felt overwhelmed. She felt constricted. She never felt like this before. Was this a panic attack?

Amara, though, pretended to be fine. She smiled through it all, but all and all, she was faking. Badly.

Amara felt a hand on her shoulder, snapping her out of her trance. It pulled her back from a void of emptiness and numbness.

She glanced over and it was Poe.

He didn't need to be Force sensitive to know what Amara was thinking. It was written all over her face. She was trying to hide it but couldn't.

Amara looked like she was ready to break. She was ready to just collapse onto the ground and cry.

Poe looks at her calmly, "Amara," He says softly.

Amara's eyes dart from him and saw Ahsoka and Chewbacca hauling Freya off Ahsoka's ship on a gurney with a sheet over top the body.

Her eyes move to Lando.

Lando placed a hand over his mouth. He closed his eyes and shakes his head.

Amara couldn't hide it.

She shakes her head and looks back at Poe.

"I- I can't," She says.

She takes her sabers off her belt and hands it to him.

Poe looks at her confused, "Amara?" He asks.

She then ran off.

"Amara-!" Poe yells.

"Mari-!" Ben yells.

{A NEW ORDER}

was one thing she did right. Amara always ran away. She ran away from all her problems. She took on other people's problems and ignored her own struggles.

When she first discovered she was Force sensitive as a child, she repressed it. She ran from it because she was scared. She was always a scared little kid.

She ran.

She ran.

She ran.

And ran.

Until.

A cliff.

She stopped.

She looked at the cliff. And looked below. It was a long way down. She paused any thought of running anymore. She settled for sitting down on the edge of the cliff.

Amara placed her hands on her face.

Her fault.

Her fault.

Her fault.

"My fault-," Amara found herself say.

"How is it your fault?" A familiar voice gained her attention.

Amara lifts her head in a sudden shock. She turned her head around to see as clear as day, Han Solo. Her dad.

Although, he didn't look like he did that last time she saw him. No there was less grey. He still had some brown in his hair and less wrinkles.

"It's- You're not really here," Amara says with tears in her eyes.

"My little princess, why are you crying? This isn't your fault." Han spoke.

Amara knew what he was referring to, it wasn't about Freya, but it felt as if his words were trying to pull herself from a pit of despair.

This conversation was about when Amara tried to drive a friend's speedster with them riding on back. They thought since she was Han Solo's kid she'd be naturally good. But it didn't end well. She and her friend got hurt.

Amara blamed herself.

"I- It's my fault," Amara finds herself saying, "I am the reason people get hurt."

Han shakes his head, "No. You do reckless shit, Mari. You get that from your mother, mostly." He grins, "But you're not the reason you get people hurt."

Amara stands up, "If not directly me, then the Skywalkers! The legacy! We're a constant black eye!" She yells.

She hears him sigh, "Solo, Organa, Skywalker," He scoffs, "Sure they're our names but that doesn't define our stories. I was supposed to be a smuggler, right? But I ended up marrying a princess. No one saw that coming for a Solo."

Amara looks at him.

"Don't tie yourself to your name too much, squirt. You'll only stress yourself out." Han says.

Han walks over and placed a hand on Amara's shoulder and gives her a big smile. Han always had a smile for Amara, it didn't matter if he was grumpy or not. He would always smile for his little princess.

"Now get that stupid idea of you being the reason people get hurt," Han says, "You're too smart to think that way."

Amara felt his hand touch her cheek, but it really didn't.

He wasn't really there.

Amara closed her eyes and turned back to the cliff.

{A NEW ORDER}

pacing back and forth. He was in the command center with everyone, well everyone he allowed inside. It was Rey, Ben, Finn, Orson, Rose, and Maz. Ahsoka and Chewie were with Lando getting things in order for a service of some sort for Freya.

"I should've gone after her," Poe says, "I shouldn't have let her go."

Ben frowns, "You wouldn't have stopped her."

Poe shakes his head.

Finn looks torn. He really feels for his best friend. He hates seeing the ones he cares about hurt. He thought after defeating the First Order things would be great, but in reality things were just more complicated.

Rey had a frown on her face.

"She- She's struggling," She says.

Eyes lift to her.

"She feels guilty. She feels responsible." Rey looks at Poe, "When she woke up in your arms after what Freya did-,"

Rey's voice trails off for a moment.

This had been the first time she had ever spoken about what happened on Exegol, had actually talked about it.

"When Amara and Ben brought me back, I was overwhelmed with a lot of feelings. Emotions. I didn't have time to deal with them, because we had to rush off Exegol." Rey says, "But after we celebrated, the feelings came crashing hard."

Ben looks at Rey.

"It was numbing. It was exhausting." Rey says, "It felt like there was a void. A pit. A- A- I don't know, a feeling that just felt off."

"Rey," Ben says, "Why didn't you ever mention it?"

Rey looks at her boyfriend, "Because, I didn't know exactly what it was." She looks at Poe, "After what happened with Amara, I knew- I knew she carries the same weight I carried that day."

Rose looks at Rey, "So Amara will get back to normal? Right?"

Rey looks at Rose, "I'm not sure I totally feel normal. I feel different, but it's okay."

Poe looks at Rey, "What do we do for Amara?" He asks, "I can't-,"

Poe had tears in his eyes. His voice cracked a little.

"I can't- lose her again," Poe says, "I- I can't handle it happening again."

Finn placed a hand on Poe's shoulder for comfort.

Orson glanced at Poe with worry. He remembered seeing Poe basically forget about his own welfare and took Amara's blade to fight. Poe was ready to die like Amara if she was gone.

Rey gives a comforting smile, "As obvious as it is," She says, "We be there for her. She needs up more than she'll want to admit."