"You know he's married, right?"

My hand, which had been drawing mindless patterns on her back, freezes. "What?"

"Ryan." Amelia clarifies, her hand continuing its exploration of my chest. "He's married and a father now."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

My hand pulls her tighter against my body, so I can feel every inch of her, before continuing its thoughtless movement.

How was I supposed to know he was married? In general, we avoid his name in our house. A question suddenly comes to mind, and my hand, again, freezes.

"Why on earth were you calling a married man at four in the morning?"

She moves from lying on her side next to me to sitting up, pulling the thin white sheet along with her.

My eyes zero in on her clenched fist and my hands itch with the need to rip it away.

"He had texted me a few days before," She says softly and my attention is brought to the issue at hand. "To see how I was doing."

"He shouldn't be texting you, or calling, or having any contact." I growl, giving her a pointed look so she knows I mean it. She simply ignores my look, continuing.

"He said that I could call anytime I needed. That he's working from home and the baby keeps him up most of the night."

"What did you need that couldn't wait, Amelia?" I question desperately, truly desiring to understand. "After that night..."

I let my sentence trail off as I think back to the night I'm speaking of. Not many words were exchanged but she fell asleep in arms.

"That night," her soft voice snaps be back to reality. "I was so disappointed."

My pride feels as if it's been hit by a fucking truck. There are many ways I would have described the events that occurred, the word disappointing not being one of them.

"Not you." She says suddenly, forgetting both the sheet and her decency as she reaches for my face. "You were wonderful." Her lips suddenly mold to mine before opening, an invitation I quickly take advantage of.

Moments later, she pulls away, breathing heavily.

"I didn't realize it, but I part of me was convinced that once we took that step I would remember and when I didn't..."

"You were upset?"

"Terribly." She responds with a nod. "When you feel asleep the happiness start to fade and all I wanted to do was cry." Unconsciously, my hand moves to wipe the first tear that's fallen from her eye. She turns her head, her blue orbs trained on me as she snuggles her face closer to my palm. "I couldn't help but think how unfair it was, how I hated the old me for having memories with you. Then I remembered the letter-" She suddenly pulls away from me, burying her face in her palms. Her next words are somewhat muffled but I hear then just the same. "I remembered that the old me never got to know what it said, she never got it, and I had this overwhelming need for it. I wanted it. I wanted to have something she didn't get, I wanted a part of you she never had." When she looks up at me I'm at a loss for the tears in her eyes.

"You make it sound like you're competing with an ex-lover."

"I am!" She all but shouts and it makes me frown. "Everything that happens you compare to the past."

"I think about the past, sure." I tell her honestly. "But I'm not comparing you to yourself."

"How could you not?" She questions brokenly, her eyes searching mine. After moment of silence she looks away. "Exactly."

But it's not 'exactly', it's far from it. How do I explain it though?

"One of my favorite memories of Ryder is from the week after I adopted him. I was feeding him puréed carrots when he suddenly spit them all over my face." I start my story, hoping, praying, it helps her to understand how I feel. "I remember sighing in frustration which Ryder thought was absolutely hilarious. He erupted into a fit of baby giggles." My hands move to grip her chin, making it so she can't look away. "Then he said 'Dada' before trying to make the same sound as me which, again, caused him to burst into giggles."

She smiles softly but I can tell she has no idea where I'm going with this. Her eyes only hold confusion and sadness. "I wish I remembered."

"Ryder does too, but either way, he doesn't. That doesn't mean I love him less or that I love our babies more. It's a memory I think back to every now and then but I don't wish for things to be different so Ryder could remember."

"That's different."

"It's not." I insist.

She rolls her eyes in a nonverbal response while her lips quirk up. Seconds later though, she starts frowning before reaching for my wrinkled dress shirt at the end of the bed.

"What's wrong?" I ask watching as she puts it on, buttoning the top few buttons, just enough to keep specific parts covered.

She doesn't respond, instead, getting up and grabbing the lace underwear that lay strewn across the lamp and sliding them on.

"Amelia?"

Again, no answer as, this time, she grabs something of the pocket of her jeans before returning to the bed.

Silently, my eyes follow her movement as she makes her way back to the bed. She climbs in, crawling over to my side, not stopping until she sits just above my hips, straddling me.

Her stare pins me, frozen, to the bed.

"I love you."

"I love you." I respond, her words causing a muscle in my chest to tense. Yesterday, I thought I'd never hear those words again and now...

"I want to stay married to you."

"Good." I grin up at her before pointing to the small stone fireplace. "We already burnt the divorce papers."

Somewhere between love making, talking, and eating the papers were thrown into the fire, quickly being swallowed up in the flames.

Amelia smiles down at me, holding my thick, platinum band out for me to see.

"I didn't realize I wasn't wearing that." I mutter, reaching for it; my hand freezing when she pulls back. Then she reaches down, tightly gripping my left hand that lays at my side. She presses a chaste kiss to the tip of my ring finger before looking at me, her blue eyes glittering like some precious gem.

"I may not remember the first time I fell in love with you, but I remember this time. I know I love you, I know I want to be married to you, I know I want to make memories with you. I want you now and forever. Will you stay married to me?"