Even if I now saw you only once, I would long for you through worlds, worlds.

— Izumi Shikibu

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Him

"What does it feel like?"

"What?"

"Being home."

"I don't know. I think I've long lost it to remember. I keep searching it in people now."

"Well," he draws a finger across the table, mind afar, asking his friend without meeting his eyes, "what does it feel like in a person?"

"Like love."

"Love?" His gaze finally lifts up to him. "Tell me what is that like precisely?"

"Wouldn't you know?"

"How come?"

"You're insatiable." His friend gets up from his chair, walking towards where he's sitting and clamping his shoulder, looking down at him. "Keep lying to yourself, akhi, like you lie to the world. But you can't cheat your own heart. What it feels, it knows what it means, then whether you want to believe it or not."

Her

She didn't know if she would see him tonight. She didn't let her expectations soar but a frail hope still remained. Added to the many things requiring his attention these days, the incident at the bazar came more as a crack between their relationship. Though she understands his spare hours are limited to give time to her, she cannot help but feel as if he has drifted apart somewhat. And she's determined to make amendments over the matter.

The palace and the bliss in the air fade with every step of hers that takes her closer to Eskander's chamber. The jitters take over, making her skin tingle inch by inch. She feels a coil of nervousness in her abdomen like she always does around him, an unexplainable sensation-- a too wild to tame exhilaration. Today, she's dressed special. And it isn't often Eskander sees her like this.

Faris stays behind as she approaches his door. She knocks lightly on it and waits for him to answer it. He allows her permission from the other side.

"It's open, come in."

Noura gets inside and closes the door behind her. He's standing by his bed with his back towards her, his sword and dagger lying atop it, busy tying his belt around his waist and himself dressed formally, probably preparing to leave for somewhere. She clears her throat to get his attention.

"You're going somewhere?"

Eskander turns around at her voice. At first it's only a glance when his eyes fall on her, but then it turns to a gaze, from fleeting to gripped, and his lips part slightly.

"I-- yes. Yes." He blinks, as if trying to come out of a daze. "I've to meet someone."

"At this hour?"

He doesn't answer, blinking again, those earthly orbs suddenly alight. It takes him a moment to process her question and respond back. "Yes, it's something... important. Political."

She notices him being distracted by her, and there goes a sinful flutter of her heart. Her face starts to feel warm and she shies away from him when he continues to stare.

"I was hoping if you were free, maybe we could watch stars from the garden or something. It's been a while we haven't spent time together."

"I wish if we could." He slowly begins to move nearer her and her breath hitches.

"Eskander, I was meaning to speak to you about a few things."

"Yes?"

"I..." Her words drown at the look he's giving as he comes to stop a foot away.

"Aroosak, (doll)," he murmurs, leaning down suddenly and her soul shudders as his lips grazes her ear lobe. "Shoma ziba hasti, Noura (you're beautiful, Noura)."

Noura closes her eyes, the moment suspended amidst hurricane in her world like a tranquil coast, wrapping her in its safety. She places a hand over his heart, all the affairs she had to discuss with him flowing away like a river into nothingness in his presence.

All she can do is smile up at him. He smiles back, placing a kiss on her forehead before pulling away.

"I would like nothing more than spending time with you, but I've to be at a dinner and I cannot keep my guest waiting."

"Dinner?" Her eyes searches his as an unpleasant thought makes its way in her head, and before she could stop herself, she blurts, "With the amira?"

Eskander arches an eyebrow at her assumption. "Amira? What makes you think that?"

Her cheeks flare in mortification and she bites her lip. "She invited you to have dinner with her earlier."

"And I declined," he reminds her. "Ameer Zakariya wants me to negotiate over the defenses of certain regions with their generals sent by their governors," Eskander clarifies, stepping away and going to strap his sword and dagger to his belt. "I'll speak to them regarding their issues."

Noura contemplates over the havoc going on in her mind, wondering if she should voice out her concerns or wait for an appropriate time. But her worries get the best of her.

"I've noticed something, Eskander."

He cranes his neck towards her. "What?"

"The amira speaks rather fondly of you."

"Did she say something to you?"

"Not directly, but her admiration for you is not hidden. I think she likes you," she states uneasily, but Eskander seems undeterred by her revelation.

"Sounds like her personal problem," he casually dismisses.

She looks at him in astonishment, unable to form any further argument. He makes his way back towards her, holding her arms and staring into her orbs.

"No need to form friendships with anyone here, amira included," he advises. "If you go to the harem, don't let the gossips of those women get to you. People talk nonsense when they've nothing better to do."

She doesn't need him to elaborate, knowing well he's referring to the rumors circulating around about them. Noura nods at him.

"Don't stay out late, and don't create trouble for Faris, alright?"

She frowns, upset. "He's bothersome."

"For your own good, janem, please understand me," he requests softly. "Anyone who wants to harm me will get to you if they can't get to me."

"You mean Adam?"

"I've other enemies besides him. The palace is a den of snakes, and I'm not only fighting for my own survival here, but your life and safety too. So let us not make it anymore difficult."

She doesn't say anything, and Eskander peers down at her.

"Do we have an agreement?"

"I'll try. I know Faris will complain to you about me if I don't. Not to mention he's quite quarrelsome. He nearly started a brawl with Muawwiz in the corridor."

Eskander chuckles at her whining. "Who's complaining about whom now?" He makes his way towards the door and she follows after him. "He's nephew of the governor of Ar Raqqa. I've had good relations with his uncle so he sent him to me for training. He's from an elite background, no wonder he stood up to Muawwiz. I wouldn't have minded him beating him senseless."

They get out of his chamber. Faris comes to attention and Eskander gestures him nearer. He quickly strides towards them.

"Faris, be with the lady during the evening and stay on guard. I want no negligence."

"I won't give you a reason to disappoint, sayidi."

"I expect no less." He turn to her. "Remember, azizem, stay out of trouble."

With that, he leaves and she's stands there staring after him. Once more, the feeling of being watched alarms her. She glances around in apprehension.

"Something is the matter, sayidati?" Faris inquires.

"I don't know if my instincts are right or not, but whenever I'm with Eskander, I've a feeling that someone is watching us."

Faris knits his brows. "Is it so?"

She nods.

"Well, we'll find who's spying on you then."

They make their way to the harem, the place where Noura had avoided coming to during all her stay here. She never had been interested into it, how each one of those women there wanted to be the caliph's queen, and envied the one who would catch his attention, plotting to bring her down. She never even wanted the caliph to begin with. The palace cannot be home to her.

When she arrives at the harem, she find Manizheh, princess Maysoon's handmaiden, standing at its door. She rushes to Noura upon seeing her.

"Marhaba, sayidati."

"Thank you." Noura subtly peeks inside, catching a glimpse of colors and glitters in a blur. "Has the Malika arrived?"

"Not yet, sayidati."

"Ah, I was really hoping to give her my congratulations and leave. I don't want to stay longer."

"Malika might come later, sayidati." Manizheh's gaze flicks around subtly, making sure no one is listening to them, before telling her in a hushed tone. "I heard a few guards talking earlier that his majesty would be gracing the palace with his presence tonight. I don't know if it's true, but the queen's absence would explain it."

Noura feels something hit her with a shattering force. Her eyes widen, a realization dawning upon her. "Al Shafay?"

The first person who comes to her mind is the one she bumped into a while back. He was certainly someone not from the palace or she would have recognized him. And given his guards and the unexplainable strength he executed, she wouldn't be surprised if he's the one.

Her curiosity resurfaces and she turns to Faris only to find his keen eyes on her. Something must be done. Eskander's advise becomes the last thing on her mind as she looks at Manizheh.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course, sayidati," she agrees. "What can I do for you?"

"I want you to distract Faris so he won't follow me to where I'm going."

"But where are you going?" Manizheh asks, suddenly alerted. "What if you get in a problem?"

"Don't worry, I'm not going far. I'll return shortly." Noura holds her hand, squeezing it lightly, urging her to agree. "Can you do it for me?"

She hesitates a moment, chewing on her lip, but then nods. "Leave it to me."

Noura smiles at her gratefully and Manizheh swans towards Faris while she pretends to get into the harem. It doesn't take Manizheh long to distract Faris, and Noura waits until he's assured that she's inside. As soon as his eagle eyes stop scrutinizing her, she gathers her dress and exits back the harem, dashing down one of the corridors.

"May you not find this out, Eskander," she prays silently.

She recalls where she had seen the man and the turn that he had taken which could possibly have taken him to only one place. Putting two and two together, she takes a guess and makes another prayer for it to be right.

The courtroom seems miles away as she goes hiding in one corridor and the other from the guards on watch. Today, they're extra in number, apparently fooling others into believing they're an addition for the celebration, but only confirming to her that the Khalifa indeed is here.

When she arrives at the front of the courtroom, she notices a considerable number of men on duty, an absolute hindrance for her to spy around. Deciding to try another way, she sneaks through the back of the courtroom and to her satisfaction finds the hallway empty. There are tall windows lining the back wall, curtains covering each, not allowing the view inside. She glimpses through them one by one, trying to find an opening that would allow her to see the other side.

"I've been updated about everything that has been going on," the same enrapturing voice of the mystery man sounds through the window glass, flaring her curiosity some more.

She tiptoes forward to check more windows. "Ya Rabbi, please-- finally!"

A small crack in one of the window curtains permits her the view of courtroom. She can see the man standing with Ameer Zakariya, his back towards her. Arwa is no where to be seen.

"Adam gave me a few suggestions," the man continues, and her ears perk up at the mentioning of Adam's name. "I would like you to go through them. I trust his judgment, but you're experienced, so I would appreciate your input on them."

Zakariya tips his head at him respectfully. "You humble me, sayidi. Adam did talk to me and I considered his suggestions. But there a few things I don't think would be appropriate to do."

"Pray tell, what are they?"

"He suggested war strategies he thinks we should follow rather than what Eskander has proposed. But I think as a general of the army, Eskander is more fit for the job. He understands the ways of those men and battles better than anyone."

The man turns only slightly that barely enough glow from the torches grazes his face for her to see it, thus keeping his identity hidden. She narrows her eyes in concentration.

"Are you confident in Eskander?" he asks and for some reason her heart leaps at the tinge of doubt in his tone.

"Of course, sayidi," Zakariya proclaims. "The boy grew up in front of my eyes. He's skilled and I don't think anyone can do it better than him."

"That could be, but he served Sulaiman in the past," he states, locking his hands behind his back. "Adam is of the opinion that we give the rank of the general in Baghdad to one of our men, someone more trustworthy than him, and preferably send Eskander to the borders of Samarkand where he could stay far away and not intervene in case rebellion strikes."

Noura feels the blood in her veins bubble up in instant rage. Something within her boils and sears, something snapping, the pain shooting as if the bones in her skull breaking, wanting to go and strangle Adam with her hands. She grinds her teeth, hardly managing not to continue snooping and hunt him down. Snake. That's what he has been up to behind the pretense.

"Eskander has fought many wars for us and brought us many victories," the vizier argues. "He served the prince before the time of rebellion, and during the rebellion he was in Ar Raqqa. I think based on a few suspicions it would be unwise to replace him, that too without any cause. Besides, I did send him away to the borders once before and the restlessness among the soldiers was unmanageable; I had to call him back. I don't think they would take another general over them."

"That's rather disappointing to hear," he utters in dismay. "Make it clear to those men that above their general it is their Khalifa they should be serving and staying loyal to. If a general is replaced, would they stop their services to the kingdom? Whatever decision is to be made, the wellbeing of the people must be prioritized over everything else."

"Yes, sayidi."

There's a sound of door opening and closing and someone else entering the courtroom. She hears Arwa's voice before she comes into sight.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting so long, sayidi."

"The wait was worth it, malikati (my queen)."

Zakariya excuses himself, allowing them to be alone as he exits the room. The man open his arms for her and the queen walks into his embrace.

"Arwa, the light of my life." He kisses the top of her head.

She looks up at him. "My days have been long without you and my nights sleepless." Arwa takes his face in her hands. "Thank you for coming."

"How could I not after the news you gave me? You blessed me the world."

Her desire of actually seeing the man remains nothing but an unfulfilled wish as someone from behind her covers her mouth, pulling her against a hard chest. Before she could attempt to struggle with him, his words still her as he whispers in her ear.

"Always fluttering your wings where you shouldn't be, isn't it, farasha?"

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Hey

With my studies and never ending course to cover for exams, I take time from my sleeping hours to write for you guys. So please bear with my schedule and messy ways-- and cliffhangers and short chapters.

With love,

Laiba (:

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