He needed her and she needed him. That was how most disasters began.

—

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"Khalid isn't only the Khalifa, he's my brother too."

"I know."

"Then you must also know that who the throne belongs to after him."

"Habibti, I know what you're trying to say. But enough with these futile efforts."

He watches his parents argue from the hiding. His mother looks furious and his father heedless to the matter.

"You can't be rebelling against my brother. He will forget that you're my husband and get your head for the treason."

"I'm not rebelling against anyone. All I'm saying is that your nephew is still a young, naive boy to be a Khalifa. And you know health of caliph Khalid is declining day by day. In the given circumstances someone more capable should rule over the kingdom-- take hold of the deteriorating situation."

"You mean you."

"And what's wrong with that? When Yusuf comes of age, he can claim the caliphate then."

"Listen to me, Marwan," his mother hisses, seething in rage. "If you decide to be a traitor, then fine. But I won't stay with you anymore. I'll take my son with me and leave. I cannot let him bear the stain of your deeds."

"Halah," he grasps her wrist, "your son is my son too. He's not going anywhere, neither are you."

She roughly tugs her arm free of his hold. "We will see, my love."

"Is there war going to happen?"

"You're here at midnight to discuss war with me?"

"What did you expect?"

Adam looks back at her from where he's lightening fire at the fireplace. Noura pulls her robe tighter against her body and crosses her arm.

"What?" She arches an eyebrow. "You didn't think I was going to have a love talk with you?"

"Are you cold?"

She blinks at his question. "No?"

"Then stop hugging yourself so defensively. I'm not going to pounce on you."

"You can't be trusted."

"That's why you're here at this hour?" He stands up and drags a chair close to the fireplace. "Sit here. Warm yourself."

She obliges, ignoring his irony as she goes to sit on the chair. He drags a chair for himself too and sits beside her.

"You can't sleep because you're worried about the war?" Adam asks, resting his forearms on his thighs and leaning forward. "Or are you worried about the general?"

"This is not only about Eskander."

"Good thing, because if you were here to ask me to stop war for him, my answer would've been no."

"Don't worry, I don't expect so much of you. You're not the Khalifa to stop wars for me, if not him."

She notices Adam working his jaw, the fire swallowed by the dense blackness of his orbs as he takes the burn.

"So much faith in the Khalifa, no?" He scoffs. "Should've just married him than coming to me."

She too takes the blow to her ego, gritting her teeth. "Well there's still time to test my faith if you divorce me and I marry him instead."

"Noura," he growls her name dangerously.

She stubbornly stares at him, unaffected. "You're so petty. You've to rub our marriage in my face every chance you get just because I was in a desperate position and came to you for help."

"You prioritize every other man over me."

"You speak as if I've affair with every other man."

"That's not what I'm implying. But you've no regards for me."

"What do you want me to do for you?"

They both silently glare each other. He narrows his eyes and she flares her nostrils. Eventually, Adam gives up when she wouldn't stop giving him the look of displeasure.

"Nothing. What can you even possibly do for me besides trying to stab me?"

Noura purses her lips and silence settles between them. He mindlessly stares away into the fire and she awkwardly glances around. After a long, heavy moment of unease, she finally sighs and turns to him.

"Forgive me for my rudeness. But you provoke me with your snide remarks."

"You're no less." He looks at her. "I know we didn't start on good terms, but you're hell bent on keeping it that way."

"That's not true." She bashfully steals her gaze from him. "I do regard you too. As I said, I don't worry about the war only for Eskander, but for everyone who are going to fight in it. And I know you'll do too."

She doesn't tell him that a greater worry than them participating for her is Eskander and him battling against each other. The thought is a dagger to her heart, an agonizing possibility too hard to consider.

"You worry for me?" he asks with such surprise it makes the blood rush to her face in self-consciousness.

"Is it too hard to believe?"

"You've no idea."

"Do you really think of me to be so heartless?"

"No. Just cold towards me. The heart of course is there. How would you love the general otherwise?"

She frowns at him. "You bring him up, you start the argument. Don't blame me then."

He raises his palms in surrender. They both once more fall silent. He keeps his eyes on her, and she lowers hers to her hands in her lap, fidgeting with her fingers.

"You know," she begins after a while, speaking quietly, "when Eskander and I were children, he wanted to be a soldier and I wanted to be a queen." Noura smiles to herself, the memories now a blurring fog in her head but still there to reminisce about. "I never wanted him to be a soldier; I'd tell him soldiers die in wars, as if to scare him off and change his mind. But he thought them to be noble. And I thought of becoming a queen to be so glorious." She looks back at Adam, finding him staring at her. "He got what he wanted, and he's happy with it. But I," she shrugs sadly, "I realized my happiness never lied in what I wanted."

"What do you want, farasha?"

She chuckles softly at his endearment and leans closer to him. "What does a butterfly want?"

He smiles at her question, the first gentle smile on his lips he has ever given her, small and fleeting but enough for her to witness it.

"To fly and not be trapped," she utters. "I want my freedom back."

"Would that make you happy?"

"I believe so."

Adam doesn't say anything more, and she pulls back, sitting straighter on her chair. The fire has provided enough warmth to her, but she continues to seek more.

"I know the general and you grew up together," Adam says, and she focuses her attention on him. "I can understand your attachment to him-- he's family to you, your fondness for him aside which I'm not fond of. But this is his choice to make, his life to live. You cannot force him to change that."

She exhales heavily. "I know."

"But if you really want your freedom back, if that makes you happy, then I'll give it to you."

She gapes at him, stunned, and he swallows thickly. She wasn't expecting the turn in the conversation, neither him bending so easily to it.

"That's not what I meant," Noura argues weakly. "I mean even if we divorce, I'll still be held captive in this palace. I want freedom from here."

"And not from me?"

She doesn't know whether he's serious or toying with her, but she manages to stammer out a response, "I-- well, I wasn't referring to our marriage. This isn't a prison I mean, but the palace is."

"But you still want divorce?"

"At some point, I suppose." She licks her lips uneasily. "That's what we decided."

"So you can marry Eskander?"

He calls Eskander by his name unlike how he usually refers to him by his rank. Noura turns to him with a perplexed expression.

"You don't think I'm going to take divorce from you and actually go to marry the Khalifa?" she comments lightly, trying to ease the growing tension in the air, but Adam doesn't buy it, simply huffing out a short, unamused laugh.

"What about him fascinates you so much?"

"Eskander?"

"Yes. Besides his looks, because I know women find him attractive. I as a man don't relate to them, but I'd like to know what is it aside that face and body to have bewitched you?"

She bites her lip, considering his question. "A lot of things. I don't know how others view him, ruthless maybe, but he has always been kind to me-- he cares for me." Noura puts her arms around herself, looking Adam in the eyes. "He makes me feel safe with him."

"And I don't?" Adam asks quietly, in a whisper, as if afraid to know of her answer.

Noura doesn't respond, shifting her eyes elsewhere. She doesn't have an answer for him-- she hasn't experienced closure with him in any good way until recently. They've only been at each other's throats if anything.

"So," she asks instead, "who else besides me fancies Eskander?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You mentioned women."

"And you're jealous now?"

"I'm only curious."

"You should be rather wary."

"Why do you say so?"

"Not everyone is to be trusted blindly."

"Stop speaking in riddles. What does it even mean?"

"Nothing," he dismisses effortlessly, and before she can inquire more, he flips the topic. "The war is between the brothers, Noura. Don't worry yourself too much about it, because there's nothing we can do regarding it."

"Brothers?" She clicks her tongue. "Al Shafay only rules in caliph Yusuf's name. Nobody even knows if Yusuf bin Khalid is alive anymore; if he never returns, how long will this go on? Al Shafay is not rightful heir to the throne. It's understandable that prince Sulaiman would want the throne for himself since he was the next-in-line heir to it after his brother."

"And who are you? Prince Sulaiman's advocate?"

"Well, no. But don't you think it's unfair on his part?"

"No, I don't think it is."

His features pull terse, displeased, eyes hardening and tone turning sharper-- words biting. Noura holds back herself from saying more.

"The caliphate belongs to whoever deserves it," Adam continues. "Caliph Yusuf earned himself the throne when his uncle rebelled against him for it and failed. Then, Al Shafay earned it for himself when prince Sulaiman rebelled against caliph Yusuf and lost the battle."

"Clearly he took advantage of the chance," Noura remarks. "You think that's the way to earn the throne? Spill blood to prove your worth for it?"

"Clearly you know nothing," he retorts, and she feels a new wave of fury crashing into her.

"You defend Al Shafay because you serve him."

"I serve Yusuf bin Khalid," he corrects. "And any man who's loyal to Yusuf, I'll be loyal to him."

"You could be serving a dead man, Adam."

"Time will tell." He leans back in his chair, crossing his ankle over his knee. "He was a fair rule, kind to his people, but just when required. He took me from slavery and gave me my freedom back. If it wasn't for him, I'd still be rotting in that hell getting lashed every minute of it. I owe him my life-- I'll sacrifice it for him if need be."

"I understand your reasons and dedication to him, but he took the right of heirship from his brother. Wasn't it wrong of him?"

"Even when Yusuf bin Khalid was the Khalifa, prince Sulaiman was given authority over many regions of the kingdom aside his governorship of Dimashq. I think he was already enjoying a good exercise of power despite him not being a caliph. Yes, the caliph did change the rules and took some rights from his brother after a son was born to him, but his son didn't survive which naturally put the prince back in line to the throne. Yet still, the prince rebelled." Adam shrugs a shoulder. "The change of rules didn't exclusively remit prince Sulaiman from heirship. It only put a limit to his tenure if he was ever to become a caliph, after which a heir of caliph Yusuf was to succeed him and not his own, if he were to have any."

"I don't know how that's still a justification."

"It's complicated."

"That's an understatement."

"From caliph Yusuf's point of view, he was only securing the life of his children. In the battle for the throne, he didn't want his brother to spill their blood," Adam clarifies. "It can be ugly, Noura, and he didn't want the prince to be so drunken on his lust for power that he could sacrifice his own family for it."

"He didn't trust his brother?"

"Well, what does the prince's rebellion prove to you? He already brought one war upon this land. Now he wants to bring another, all only so he can have the entire kingdom to himself-- no governorship but to have the title of the Khalifa."

Noura buries her face in her hands. "I don't even know who is right anymore."

"I think it's an individual choice for everyone. Those faithful to the prince seek justice for him. And those who stand with the caliph fight for him."

She looks back up at him. "And you've made your choice?"

"Yes."

"But if caliph Yusuf never returns, will you continue serving Al Shafay?"

He doesn't answer, but his silence is enough of an affirmation for her. She doesn't argue with him over the matter anymore.

Noura clears her throat, finding it better to change the subject as she asks him, "Why would they lash you in slavery?"

"I was disobedient and not good with taking orders."

"You were taken from your home?"

"No, from the caravan during migration when the the first rebellion took place and Yusuf bin Khalid became the caliph."

"So these marks on your back are from since then?"

He smirks, orbs once more tinting with devilish mischief. "Most of them. Some from battles. And then there's the one which you signatured in my flesh."

"I wish my apology would fix it, but you really know how to infuriate me," she excuses.

"You actually thought I would harm you?"

"It's hard to believe you."

He places a hand on his chest in feigned disappointment. "Do you really think of me to be so heartless?"

Noura cannot help laughing as he uses her line on her, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. Adam simply smiles in response, this time broader than before, genuine and captivating, watching her with adoring eyes. She takes glimpses at him, finding him less beastly and nefarious, less sinister to alarm her. Rather, he appears vivacious and human, like a touch of warmth after numbing cold. She relishes in the sensation of this warmth.

She would've told him to be like that more often. She would've told him she finds him delighting this way. But something holds her back. Maybe the strings of his heart entangled with someone else's. Or maybe her own. She cannot bring herself to utter those words to him.

His gaze subtly falls to her lips. Her eyes subconsciously mimics his actions before she could stop herself, unfortunately unlike him, less subtle. He stares at her with something intangible, maybe with something dark and luring like a devil's sin. Her throat dries up but she cannot break the eye contact with him.

The smile is no more adorning his face, neither is the mischief glimmering in his orbs anymore. He looks like a meticulously articulated sculpture, still and unmoving, the fire casting shadows and light over him. Noura doesn't know why, but suddenly he appeals to her, and in that one moment, he's just one touch away. She wants to reach out to him.

"I'm not heartless," he finally says, sending a galvanizing buzz in the air. Adam leans forward towards her, almost off his chair and hovering over her. Noura doesn't attempt to move away this time. "Not for you," he whispers.

She wants to believe him, but she knows too little of him. He has been nothing but a mystery of which she knows more lies than truths-- too intricate to fathom in one lifetime.

Noura brings her fingers to his face, barely touching, grazing them up his cheekbone to tuck back the long strands of his hair falling forward. He appears transfixed by her, completely mesmerized, and she smiles at him.

"What are you, Adam? Who are you?" she asks him in murmurs. "You're all dark shades of infinity. Why do you make yourself an arduous man to be understood by me?"

"Why don't you try for me?"

She doesn't get to respond as a knock on the door interrupts them. Adam clenches his jaw, clearly irritated, and she pulls away from him.

"Whoever it is, go away," he calls out.

Noura stands up urgently. "It could be Hafez."

"Adam, it's me."

And just like that, Arwa's voice drags her back to reality as the moment shared with him dissolves into an evanescent dream.

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Sorry for killing your joys at the end and leaving you on a cliffhanger. Unfortunately I've an upcoming exam, so next update might be delayed.

Until again, my love to you all.

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