Here's what love is: a smoke made out of lovers' sighs. When the smoke clears love is a fire burning in your lover's eyes.

—

✵

"Joojoo?"

She pokes him with the wooden sword and he looks up from the sticks he's using to make himself a bow and arrows. "Yes?"

"Can you not be a king one day?"

He sheepishly shrugs and resumes making his bow. "I can be."

"But he said your baba isn't the Khalifa, so you cannot be either."

"Who said that?"

"The prince. I don't know his name. There are so many people here." She sits down on the ground with him, crossing her legs and putting the wooden sword aside, watching with eager eyes what he's doing. "What are you making?"

"A bow for myself. You can keep my sword." He smiles at her. "I'll ask my baba if I can be a king someday."

Her round orbs gleam with excitement. "And me? Can I be a queen too?"

He nods enthusiastically and she grins. "When I become a king, I'll make you a queen then."

A lot of times in life the life we're destined to live and the life we desire are only tangents meeting briefly before parting. Or maybe so is the case always. Human heart is a nomad trying to find home in this temporary world. And until the hourglass runs out of its sand, hope remains.

The inky blue of the pond reflects the specks of stars in the sky just like the hope in her heart. The night is in its early hours and the darkness it has brought with itself envelopes everything. There is a bite in the air from coldness, and she rubs her nose as she feels it numbing. The silence around her is heavy yet comforting.

Noura kneels by the pond, her fingers hovering over its surface but not touching, watching the faint outlines of fish swimming beneath the water. She traces them with her eyes, following their movements, before being interrupted by sounds of footsteps approaching.

"Sayidati?" Hafez calls her. "It's getting late. I should escort you back to your chamber."

"Is Fereydun back, Hafez?"

"I don't know, sayidati. I can go check for you if you want me to."

Noura sighs and looks up to the half hung moon in the sky. She doesn't know how many more crescents of new months she has to count before the one she has been waiting for returns to her.

"No news from Eskander?"

"No, sayidati."

She stands up and turns around to face him. "I want to see Fereydun if he's at the palace."

Hafez nods and both of them make their way inside the palace. "I'll go find if he has returned," Hafez suggests. "You should wait for me at your chamber, sayidati."

Noura wants to protest and tell him that the quiet and void of her chamber has started to haunt her-- that she doesn't want to go there. Without her mother, and without Eskander, every place no matter how fancy will be rotten to her. And by now her patience already has begun to thin.

But instead of speaking out her thoughts, she turns towards her chamber and Hafez waits until she's at the door before he goes around the corner towards Fereydun's chamber.

Noura stares at the wooden door a long moment. Then deciding against going inside, she walks through the corridors, torches lightening them, coming to where long glass windows and open balconies are overlooking the gardens. But before she could step outside, she hears voices coming from the other end of the corridor where the courtroom is located.

She hesitates going any further, but doesn't attempt to go back her way either. Maybe she would have ignored them and continued strolling around or stargazing from the balcony, but the situation provides her a reason to give into her curiosity when she hears her name being mentioned.

"There are greater things to deal with than love affairs. But here I am stuck with clearing the mess created over a girl." She hears Ameer Zakariya saying. "Noura is not a harem woman. All these rules broken for her makes us answerable for her."

"Answerable to whom?"

Her breath hitches in her throat. Adam. The nonchalance of his tone surprises her. Against her logic, her feet take her closer to the courtroom on their own accord.

"I thought you're more responsible than this," Zakariya scolds.

"You cannot doubt my loyalty towards the crown. You know I can sacrifice my life for my Khalifa."

Noura wants to scoff and yell how he has trampled over this said loyalty, shaming it. Certainly Adam is nothing but devil dressed in silk.

"Just because the Khalifa is lenient towards you doesn't mean you do as you please. Your actions can impact those around you too, adversely to say the least," Zakariya continues, and she inches nearer to the closed doors to hear more clearly. "You're like a son to me. I don't doubt your loyalty. But I cannot keep ignoring each of your mistakes, especially if you've been this reckless."

She doesn't know what they're talking about, but from the sound of it she gathers it must be her marriage and caliph's displeasure. It only adds fuel to her curiosity.

"I understand," Adam replies, only with a tinge of apology. She cannot even figure if it's genuine or not. "I'll meet Khalifa and explain things to him myself."

"I know you only listen to your heart, but I've an advice for you: stop exploiting your powers like this. It'll cost you your head someday if you aren't careful enough."

The warning in Zakariya's words sinks into her like an anchor. Whether Adam has taken it seriously or not, she fears it might unfold a future she has no desire to see.

She doesn't get a chance to hear more as someone behind her speaks up, "What are you doing?"

Noura jumps, startled, and turns around only to come face to face with the queen. She feels her throat go dry suddenly. By the look Arwa is giving her, it clearly tells her her eavesdropping is caught and unappreciated. Noura swallows thickly.

"I..." she tries to think of an excuse, but nothing comes to her mind. And then to her misfortune, the door to the courtroom opens too.

She cranes her neck. Adam stands in the door way, his marble cold eyes keenly watching her as she hurries to put some distance between them.

"Malika?" Zakariya says, slicing the growing tension in the air, and Arwa shifts her attention from her to him.

"Ameer, I was wishing to speak to you about a matter if you've got some time."

"Of course. Please come in."

Adam steps aside, letting Arwa get into the court room as he himself walks out. The door closes, leaving Noura standing outside with him. His gripping gaze once more finds her.

"What were you doing here?" Adam asks, his tone taut and sharp.

"I was passing by," Noura answers, keeping her own voice leveled and unwavering.

"Where to?"

"None of your business."

She tries to walk past him but he extends his arm in front of her, stopping her. She glares up at him and he narrows his eyes suspiciously.

"You were listening to us through the door?"

"I didn't mean to, but I heard you discussing me," she tells him honestly.

"Sayidati?"

Hafez cuts through the terse moment and Noura couldn't be anymore grateful to him. She moves away from Adam towards him.

"I just wandered off, Hafez. I'm sorry." She smiles bashfully. "Did I trouble you again?"

"I got worried," he says, returning her smile politely. "I informed sayid Fereydun that you want to meet him; he is waiting for you at his chamber."

"Perfect." She beams. "Let's go."

"Wait," Adam stops her again before she can leave. "Give us a minute," he directs to Hafez.

He obviously hesitates, but Noura nods for him to obey. He tips his head and leaves them alone, going to stand far away from them.

"Why do you need to see the governor?"

Noura frowns at Adam's query. "Why do you need to know?"

He growls lowly in disapproval. "The hour is inconvenient. What is so important that it cannot wait?"

"Eskander."

Her answer is simple, but it seems to lit flames in Adam's eyes. He glowers at her.

"Noura, have you forgotten our deal?"

"Have you forgotten that he's my family too, Adam?" she reminds him. "It's been long I've heard from him. It's only natural that I worry."

"He'll be back when it's time to be," he argues.

She feels the threads of her tolerance snapping, something which Adam is skillful in always managing to achieve. Noura clenches her jaw, trying to keep her voice down.

"You're not actually my husband, so don't act like it," she grits at him.

His features harden at her response as they take on a gravely dark hue. "How about we break off the marriage then so the Khalifa can marry you?"

She takes the blow to her ego, staring daggers at him. "How about I go tell him you're the man I've married so he can put your head on a spike?"

"How about I tell him it's the general you fancy so he can put his head on a spike alongside mine?" he retorts heatedly.

"How about I chew off your tongue before you so much as utter his name?"

"Try it," he dares, leaning towards her challengingly. "You will bite off my tongue?" His orbs fill with roguery, completely replacing the previous sobriety. "Why, zawjati (my wife), ain't that too soon to be this wild?"

She feels her face flush instantly at his remark, certain that in the light the torches are giving away, he can very well notice her blushing.

"Shut up," she shushes him, "you twisted, devil of a man."

As if to trouble her more, he grins, running his tongue over his upper lip in slow motion. "You're calling me wicked despite me helping you?"

"Nothing changes the fact that you are wicked, azizi (my dear)."

"Then what does it make you to have known this and yet still chose to marry this wicked man, hubbi (my love)?"

Noura feels the nerves in her body sizzle at his words. In the burning flames that cast flickering shadows across his face, she finds herself possessed by the infinite black of his eyes-- the unsettling look in them. His eyebrows knit, and for a fleeting second her gaze leaps to the two cuts in his left eyebrow that divide it into three parts before coming to drown back into his pupils. She takes a staggering step away from him.

"Adam," she can only manage his name in a whisper, the rest of sentence failing to come out of her throat. She doesn't bother trying to say more as she turns on her heels and walks away, leaving him standing there in the corridor.

She makes her way to Fereydun's chamber and Hafez follows closely behind her. He stays outside once they arrive at their destination while she goes inside to meet him. Noura finds him standing by the fireplace, reading a letter. He looks up at her upon her entering the room, greeting her with a smile.

"Noura, welcome."

"Thank you." She returns his smile.

"Hafez told me you've been meaning to speak to me but I haven't been available all day." He gently lowers the letter into the fire and let the flames devour it. Her eyes fall to it momentarily before finding him again. He comes forward towards her. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting so long."

"Don't apologize, I understand that you've duties to fulfill."

Fereydun gestures for her to take a seat. Both of them sit down and he edges towards her attentively.

"I hope all is well?" he asks.

"All is well," she confirms. "It's been a while I haven't heard from Eskander. He's at war and my heart cannot be at peace without knowing of his well being. I was wondering if you've received any news from him?"

"He's fine, Noura, don't worry," he assures. "In fact, I've talked to the Ameer and he might call him back to Baghdad soon."

"Really?" She grins, all at once elated at the information.

He keeps his smile and nods. "Really."

"Thank you, Fereydun."

"There's nothing to thank me for. I'm doing what I think is the best."

"Well," she fidgets with her fingers anxiously, "I've another request to make as well."

"Of course. Ask away."

"I was meaning to write to my mother and assure her of my well being too so she wouldn't worry herself," she tells him. "Before, Eskander would send her letters for me. But now when he's not here, I didn't know who else to ask. That's why I came to you. It has been quite some time I've heard from my mother."

"That's all?"

"Yes."

Fereydun smiles kindly at her. "You just write her a letter and I'll arrange someone to deliver it to your home."

"Thank you." She looks down at her feet, the sound of home bringing a dragging and heavy feeling in her chest. "I appreciate your help, a lot."

"If you're Eskander's family, you're my family, Noura. He's a brother to me," Fereydun speaks sincerely, meaningfully. "I'm doing you no favor. You can come to me anytime whenever you need something. If it's in my capacity to help you in any way, I sure will."

She can only reply to him with another smile, grateful this time, and he returns it too.

"Will you stay in Baghdad until Eskander returns?" she asks him, a glitch of fear nestling in her gut. She doesn't want to have her only trustful companion gone too.

"Well, I've overstayed my time here already. But let's just hope the Khalifa doesn't strip me of my title for abandoning my region for so long." He glances away to the fireplace. "Khorasan is my home, but my duties here bound me."

Before she can ask him anything more, a knock at the door interrupts them and a guard comes in.

"Sayidi, you've a visitor," he tells Fereydun.

"At this hour?" Fereydun blinks, seemingly bewildered. "Who is it?"

The guard's gaze flicks to her before back away and he answers Fereydun with silence, but he seems understand it and is out of his seat immediately.

"Noura, I'm sorry but it looks like something urgent came up."

She stands up too. "Don't worry, I've said what I was here for."

"Excuse me then. Hafez will escort you back to your chamber."

She nods at him. "Good night."

"Good night."

He leaves with the guard in a rush and she's left on her own. She sighs, a little perplexed, then fixes her dress and prepares to leave, but something catches her eye-- the seal on the half burnt paper left in the fireplace. It looks similar to Al Shafay's seal.

Her conscience warns her, she realizes it could be wrong, but despite her best efforts, she ends up walking to the fireplace and picking up what remains of the letter. Only little is left of the writing, and suppressing her guilt, she reads it, brushing off the ash from the seal to see it too.

--need more men and gold. If they don't resort to peace, then war is inevitable. Be well prepared to strike any time.

Al Hadi.

✵

Thoughts?

✵