Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time.

— Jorge Luis Borges

✵

Him

"We'll play, but I'll be the princess."

"Princess?"

"Yes, and you're a prince anyway so you can be that."

He shyly smiles at her and nods in agreement to her proposition. She stands up and dusts her dress before twirling around and letting it flutter in the wind. He only admires her with wide, excited eyes.

"Joojoo?" she calls him and grins, motioning for him to join her too. Because of his tiny size and meek composure, and her in contrast being a bold child, she has always been acting as if older than him and in command.

He slowly gets up and walks towards her. She holds his hand and points a finger towards the palace. "This will be our home."

He watches the sun ascending the sky bit by bit as the morning rays once again fall on the kingdom like everyday. But today, it's special. Today after so long she's in the palace back again-- the place where he spent his golden days with her together. Today marks her first day with him in Baghdad, their home, after years of separation.

"Welcome home, habibti."

Her

Who is a man in this palace? It seems to her every man must unleash the beast within himself as soon as he steps through the palace gates. It seems to her every eye connecting with her eye is only a mirror to the soul of an animal within a man's body. The courtroom is nothing but a wild jungle to her.

"I'm not lying," Noura insists with a thread of begging in her tone after narrating to the people in the court how she found the caliph's seal. From the unconvinced looks on everyone's faces, the knots of nervousness in her stomach tighten.

"Did you see his face?"

The question comes for Zakariya ibn Al Hakam, the grand vizier. Noura looks at him and shakes her head in refutation. He's an aged man with gray beard and specks of faded black in it, but still in his good health and strength, standing tall and strong with his hands tied behind his back. His eyes, unlike the rest of everyone else, have a gleam of kindness and sympathy towards her. He nods at her reply.

"Let us suppose you're telling us the truth, but still until we find the actual culprit we cannot let you go."

"But I didn't steal the seal," Noura protests helplessly.

"Nour," Eskander beside her shushes her softly before directing to the vizier. "Ameer."

The striking difference between the timbre of his voice whilst addressing her or anyone else in the courtroom is of spring breeze or melting iron-- gentle versus burning.

"I've followed in my ancestors footsteps and served this kingdom for years with all my heart. I've never regarded my life over the benefit of my people, neither have I ever rebelled against any orders I've received from the crown."

"We're not ignorant to your services, Eskander," Zakariya replies.

"Then is this how you pay me for them?" Eskander sneers. "You send your men to my house behind my back and they take my sister from her home while I fight at the border for you? You dishonor me, Ameer."

Zakariya runs a hand down his face and beard as if in great distress. He turns around and goes to sit on his seat at the end of the room.

"These were the Khalifa's orders, Eskander. Whoever was found to have the seal was to be brought to him."

"If the Khalifa couldn't respect this woman in my face, he should've at least done so in her father's face. She's Al Makhzum's daughter. Her father served caliph Khalid ibn Al Malik all his life. Yet she's still accused for an impossible theft?" Eskander mockingly spits.

"Apologies, general, but the theft isn't an impossible one," Muawwiz interjects from across the room. "No one's family background counts when it comes to justice. Neither yours, nor hers."

Eskander stares at him viciously. "Neither does your opinion counts, Muawwiz. So don't speak unless spoken to."

"I don't think I need your permission to speak," he retorts. "The girl might not have access to the palace, but you have."

"What do you want to imply by this?" Eskander growls. Noura feels the tension in the room thicken and the waves of rage coming from Eskander that boils the air around them.

"Muawwiz," Zakariya glares at his guard. "Do you realize the gravity of your accusation?"

"I beg your pardon, my Ameer, but you're being too lenient with the general," Muawwiz argues. "I suppose we all know the gravity of the crime committed and the leniency being shown to the culprit. This is against the kingdom rules."

"The crime ain't yet proven, neither are you the judge here. The Khalifa does as he please, rules followed or broken, whatsoever."

The interruption comes from Adam and all eyes turn to him. Muawwiz snarls at his comment. "Shut up, slave."

"You shut up, guard dog," Eskander snaps.

"Men!" Zakariya roars at the breech of discipline, and all of them wire shut their jaws. He glowers at them before directing to Eskander.

"I've no doubt in your loyalty towards the crown, Eskander." From her periphery, Noura catches both Adam's and Muawwiz's faces twist in displeasure at the compliment. "However, you must realize the complexity of the situation. Your sister had the seal, and as per caliph's order, we're bound to keep her here. Until this case is solved, Noura will remain at the palace."

The look of disagreement on Eskander's features is loud and clear. His fists are clenched and Noura is sure he's barely managing to hold his tongue. She knows Eskander doesn't want to keep her in the palace at any cost but he too has his hands chained.

"I've certain conditions," he finally utters and she hears Muawwiz scoff.

"We don't think you're in a position to be be giving orders, general. You aren't the Khalifa here."

"Open your mouth again and I'll have my blade down your throat," Eskander threatens gravely.

Noura gathers because of Muawwiz own rank of being commander of the royal guards and not working under Eskander, he's rather fearless of him compared to the other men in the room. Their dislike towards each other is as obvious as the midday sun.

"State your conditions, Eskander," Ameer Zakariya permits, ignoring the banter between his warriors.

"Noura will not be kept with the other women in the caliph's harem," Eskander declares firmly, pressing on his words. "She's not a slave, and she won't be treated like one."

"She's brought here under the crime of theft yet not treated as one. What makes you think Khalifa will make her his slave?"

"I'm only stating my concerns, Ameer."

"Your concerns are invalid, Eskander. The caliph means no harm to her if she's innocent," Zakariya assures.

Eskander shakes his head, unconvinced. "Allow me to assign men I trust from my own service for her. This will keep my heart at peace."

"It looks to me as if you're making a guest out of the girl rather than the deed she's actually here for," Muawwiz derides, interjecting once again.

Before Eskander could reply, someone else bites back. "Do you have a death wish, commander?"

Noura shifts her gaze in the direction of the voice. The man who has spoken is dressed in lush garments and fancy jewels, well-built like most of others, surrounded by a dense aura impenetrable to be understood. It's clear to her he too is someone of high rank and power. His eyes flick to her and he tips his head. She cannot figure if it's in a greeting or respect.

"Noura Al Makhzum is taken away from her home and accused for a theft she cannot possibly have committed sitting miles away from Baghdad in Isfahan. So you want to put the blame upon general Eskander's head for stealing the seal and then leaving it with her at home?" The man challenges with such authority that the whole room falls silent. "I think you know how absurd the accusation is, my Ameer, given that the general spent the days before his last visit to his home with me in Khorasan. Until then, there was no news of the seal missing while it should've come to notice earlier had he stolen it right when he had left Baghdad. It was only announced later when he had gone to and left Isfahan that the seal is missing. Tell me now, how long did it take the caliph to realize that his seal is stolen?"

There's no one in the entire courtroom to answer the man's argument, a heavy quiet locking up everyone's lips. Noura feel her heart starting to beat again after much stretched turmoil that has been brewing.

"And before you come up with the idea of them having a spy in the palace who stole the seal and then miraculously dropped it at Al Makhzum's house in Isfahan, I think you need to interrogate your own men rather than pointing fingers at the general because he left his army with you, none of his men having left the palace after him."

The last nail is hit in the coffin and nobody objects against the man. Noura hears Eskander release a breath besides her, definitely grateful for someone standing up for him, and she too lets some of the worry leave her body.

"What do you suggest, Fereydun?" Zakariya asks the man, and Noura commits his name to her memory.

"I see both Noura and Eskander innocent. But of course, it's up to the Khalifa to decide. I think if someone could go so much as to steal the caliph's seal, it's something of concern for us. Although I do not understand why would he leave it with the lady then? It can be a plot against the general or it can be a personal attack on the caliph."

The room once more falls silent, and Ameer Zakariya seems to contemplate on Fereydun's words. Noura restlessly shifts besides Eskander and he places a comforting hand on her back.

"Ameer," Adam speaks up again. "If the general wants to keep his sister under his watch for her safety, where is the harm in it?" he recommends.

Noura doesn't understand this man. Though he be the only one in the palace she has spent the most time with-- all the way from Isfahan to Baghdad-- he has proven to be the most complicated one. Even during their journey together where he was a closed book, and now when he's speaking in support of Eskander, it doesn't fit in the picture he had painted of Eskander for her when she had questioned him. She cannot gather where Adam stands with Eskander-- what his intentions are and where his loyalties lie.

Zakariya nods after a long moment and directs to them again. "Alright, Eskander. Until any further orders from the caliph or any leads we find, Noura can live here freely. You can put your own men at her service if it pleases you, and she's allowed to leave the palace with her guards, but she cannot return home until proven innocent."

The last statement clenches her heart, she aches for her home, but she knows there's no more freedom for her than what is already given. Eskander tilts forward his head in agreement, holding back his protests if any, letting the argument settle.

The Ameer dismisses the gathering with a flick of his wrist and one by one everyone files out of the room. She follows Eskander outside and he guides her away from the men to Fereydun waiting in a corridor. He smiles when he sees them approaching.

"Eskander."

He opens his arms for him and both of them embrace warmly. Fereydun pats him on the back before pulling away.

"Thank you for your support, Fereydun."

"Anything for you, my friend." He squeezes his shoulder reassuringly. "I trust you, and I know you're in no way involved in the crime. I'll always have your back."

Eskander smiles in gratitude before stepping aside and turning towards Noura.

"Azizem, this is Fereydun Bakhtiar, the governor of Khorasan and a very dear friend of mine. And Fereydun," he turns towards the governor, "this is Noura."

Noura waits for him to say more, tell his friend she's his sister, speak the expected that is like a horse trampling on her raw nerves, but instead he ends it there without adding further.

Like before, Fereydun tips his head for her and they exchange greetings. He speaks with the same calm and level-headedness as he spoke with before in the courtroom, language having thick accent of formality that reflects his royal roots. But where his words were heated before, now they're all cool. He's probably the first man Noura finds to be standing beside Eskander than against him.

Although behind the collected demeanor of this person, she has already seen a glimpse of wit which has told her he's a man his enemies must be wary of with how he came to their rescue right at the flipping point and presented reasons in their favor. And with everyone she's encountering so far, the distinction between her and the natives of the palace is only becoming more apparent to her. It rolls her gut in unease.

"Why does everyone in the palace dislike you?" Noura asks Eskander once they excuse themselves from Fereydun and he's leading her somewhere she doesn't know about.

He laughs at her question and shrugs carelessly. "Because they cannot be me."

She hides her smiles. He's right-- no one can ever be him, especially for her. Whether he's perfect or wrecked, he's both the most bewitching masterpiece yet the most violent ruination in her eyes.

"So far I haven't liked anyone here either besides Fereydun," Noura tells him and he throws her an amused look.

"So far how many people have you even met?"

"Muawwiz, Adam, and Fereydun," she lists.

"Fereydun is my friend, and Muawwiz failed to get what I have. Envy is an ugly thing after all, thus he opposes me. As for Adam," he pauses, as if sorting out a mystery before continuing, "he makes a worthy rival-- brave and cunning."

Noura cannot help the chuckle escaping her lips. "Funny how he too called you skilled and cunning, but also untrustworthy."

Eskander doesn't seem to take offense, completely unaffected, as he remarks, "He doesn't trust me, and I don't trust him. I think it makes us even."

"Why don't you trust him though?"

"The man is cryptic." He doesn't elaborate and before she can ask what he means, he questions her instead, "Did he treat you fair during the journey?"

"He did."

"Good for him."

The tall, slender windows on the walls let the sunrays shine through the intricately decorated, colored glasses. The smell of musk and glints of gold enchant her. Everything is fine and extravagant, unlike the world she has come from. How can anyone not be charmed by the beauty of the royalty?

"Don't let anything bedazzle you, janem," Eskander says, as if reading her mind. "The only thing this place is good for is stripping people of their humanity."

"You belong to this place too," she reminds him.

"And I never said I'm any better."

"For me, you are."

He stops and turns towards her. She looks into his warm orbs that shine fainter than their natural color of earth in the sunlight. He smiles at her.

"Let me take you somewhere."

✵

Too early for theories, but do you have any?

✵