I really fucked up this time. Avery is so hurt and so disappointed in me. She hasn't talked to me much and it crushes my heart further. I know that I have to fix this, her birthday is tomorrow and she doesn't need to be sad about it. I just fucking ruined everything.

I only lied once. The days before that well I lied too but it was for her birthday. Sky, Charlie, and I went to get tickets for this band Avery likes who will be playing a month from now and the next day we went to see a few places to rent at for this weekend, like a small getaway trip I have been saving up for. So I had to lie and tell her I was with Sky. But yesterday, I just guess I just wanted to spend time with all of them, Jude and his girlfriend are back and it was the first time we were all hanging out and I thought Avery would be busy, and yeah I didn't text her and that was my fault. I should have told her that I was gonna be at Charlie's and he was having a small party thing.

Avery thought I had been ignoring her and not thinking about how she was feeling honestly it was the opposite. I just, I guess I'm dumb when it comes to the emotion department. It's hard to read Avery and I just wished she'd tell me how she feels. Instead, she goes quiet or says that everything is okay. She doesn't want me to push her and I haven't. But then sometimes, I think I have to because not doing so makes it seem like I don't care which is the furthest from the truth. What she said that day about me not saying anything and pulling away isn't right, I do ask, maybe just not enough. We've never talked about it either.

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I got home late as I was so head on to ignoring Sam. She texted me a few times on dinner all I said back was that I will be home late. Meaning, I didn't want to eat dinner at home. A part of me was ready to forgive her, the wolf, mate part but the human part is hurt and betrayed and a little embarrassed that this had to unfold in front of Jake.

The worst part is that tomorrow is my birthday. I guess it's not the first time I was gonna be sad but it sucks, I thought it was gonna be great, I was gonna be 21.

I wonder if I was a little harsh with Sam earlier, I never let her explain and chased her out of my office with tears down her face. Maybe I was.

I entered our apartment as it was passed 1 am knowing Sam would be asleep. I saw the little note she left on the countertop with a smiley donut, making my heart clench a little. I took it and read it as I sat on the stool.

My Beautiful Avery,

I'm so sorry babe, I didn't mean to make you mad or upset you. I didn't tell you about yesterday because I guess I didn't want to disappoint you if I said that there was gonna be a party. I know you don't like it when I go for things like this. I really didn't want to yesterday, it's just that people came down, and all of them were there from school and they were all going back soon so I stayed. I admit that it was my fault, I didn't text you after that, nor did I say if I was coming home, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry, love, I truly am.

I do care about you Avery, I think about you all the time and how I could be the perfect mate for you and maybe in between perfecting myself I forget that you're here, and you need me and I wasn't here for you. I apologize, it was so selfish of me to do so. God, I'm sorry, now thinking back yeah I was really stupid. But babe, it was never my intention.

I promise I'll change, I want to be better for you. You've done so much for me, you practically saved my life more times than I can count, you're my everything, never ever less. I love you, and I'm so sorry again. I suck as a mate, don't I?

It might be the next day when you read this and I know you probably don't want to look at me right now, so uhm, Happy Birthday Avery. I love you, you're a dream I don't deserve and I'm so sorry for lying to you.

Love,

Your mate, Sam.

Tears were streaming down my face once I was done with it, stopping to read some part over and over again and she got it so wrong. I will never not want to see her, she doesn't suck as a mate, she's perfect. People make mistakes and I didn't want her to feel so bad about it.

It was a little childish for me to act that way. I shouldn't have shouted at her in my office, someone could have heard or seen. She must have felt so bad. Oh God, what did I do? This was our first fight and in all honesty, no matter how much I wanted to be upset and angry I couldn't, my mind always gravitated back to her and the look on her face.

I picked up the donut and broke it in half for her tomorrow and walked to our bedroom and saw her under the covers on my side of the bed making me swallow. I moved closer, crouching down beside her and saw the dried-up tears on her face, under her eyes and the dampness on her pillow. Oh, baby. She cried herself to sleep.

I came home earlier so set on sleeping in the living room, but now, I wasn't sure. I missed her. This is just hurting both of us. We'll talk tomorrow. I know she'll apologize and explain even more. Sam's like that, she always makes sure I'm okay with things, that was the reason she lied about the party, she knew I wasn't gonna be okay with it. I understood, even though it hurt, I understood. But we needed to talk. Now though, I just wanted to hold her.

I took a quick shower and changed into some pajamas and checked the front door and turned off all the lights before coming into bed. Since she was on my side, I got into hers, turning to her and spooning her, pressing my front to her back, kissing her hair, breathing in her scent. Goddess, I missed her so much. I felt her snuggle back into me, wanting my warmth, making me smile a little. Soon, I slept off.

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I woke up hearing my alarm ring loud through the room. Immediately I realized Sam wasn't in bed. I sat up, rubbing my face and checking my phone for the time and it was only 7 am. She's gone so early? I sighed seeing there was no text from her but then froze seeing the chair beside me. She made me breakfast. Oh, goddess.

A smile crept onto my face seeing heart-shaped, pink colored pancakes, pink-guava juice and a pink rose with a bottle of honey with a note saying, 'Happy Birthday, my love'. I stared at it, not moving and not believing my eyes before I jumped out of bed and headed out to the kitchen, hoping she was still there. Her scent was still fresh.

But then, it was empty. She left. Oh. I walked back to the bedroom and sat down, taking the note and reading it.

Dear Avery,

Happy Birthday. I hope you slept well. I made pancakes for you, I hope they are okay, you know I can't cook for life. I saw that you came to bed last night, I was awake after you wrapped your arms around me but I didn't say anything, I couldn't, I knew if I did I was going to ruin that for you too. I know you maybe didn't do that for me, but I missed you, and I was really hoping you'd come to bed, and you did, so thank you. I love you so much. You're always thinking about me, I know that and I don't deserve it especially after hurting you. I'm sorry again.

I left early, because, well, I didn't know if you wanted to see me. I'm sorry. I wish you'd let me talk to you about what happened, I want to. You don't deserve to feel unimportant, especially to me, that's so wrong.

I'm sorry for ruining your birthday, you don't deserve that either. I want to fix it if you'd let me, babe. I want to cook you dinner if you're coming home early today and then I can tell you what happened. Please let me know babe? I'm sorry again, I love you, and happy birthday.

Love always,

Sam.

Oh god. I took a shaky breath as I put the note down, she thought I didn't want to see her, again. So she left. She left two hours early after making me breakfast so that I wouldn't have to see her if I wasn't ready. Jesus, she's one of a kind innit.

W- She's sorry Avery, she must be feeling so bad.

A- I know, maybe I was too harsh, she left, she just left.

W- I know. I can feel that she's scared and nervous about us hating her.

A- Hate? How could I hate her? How could we hate her? Oh, goddess.

W- She doesn't know that. Or she doesn't believe it.

Oh, darling. I took my phone and dialled her number, waiting for her to pick up.

"H-hello?" I hear her breathe softly into the phone.

"Baby..." I started.

"Avery, I'm so sorry. I'm so -god, I'm s-so sorry." She says her voice shaky. My heart clenched.

"No baby, shh, it's okay, don't cry okay. I'm sorry for yelling yesterday, I never should have done that." I say softly as I heard her sniffle.

"No, I deserved that, I shouldn't have lied, I'm sorry babe." She says immediately.

"No you don't, I never stopped to ask you the whole story and I apologize, I was just hurt. We'll talk tonight alright? I don't like not talking to you and not seeing you." I say.

"You wanted to see me?" She asked surprised.

"Always baby girl, always. Thank you for breakfast, it's perfect. Come home tonight okay?" I asked.

"Okay. Happy Birthday, babe." She whispered shyly.

"Thank you, darling."

"See you at night."

"Okay. Bye."

I cut the line feeling a little better, I knew this was something I'd been wanting to do. I didn't like pushing her away, I never liked pushing anyone away when we had a disagreement. Except for that one time with Jake because he was a complete asshole, still I was the one who started to talk to him again. But in this case, Sam is my girl, my mate. I knew she would never do anything to hurt me. It was all just misunderstandings, we just needed to talk.

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I sat in my car, clutching my chest after that call will Avery, a call I never expected. God, she's just so nice to me. She apologized too, like who does that? She's perfect, isn't she?

The rest of the day passes pretty quickly and soon I was done with classes and I was so excited to get home to Avery. It's her birthday and I had already picked up cake, balloons, and flowers for her along with the gift that I got her. I gnawed on my lip the whole way home, thinking about every scenario that might play out later and just reminding myself to be honest and tell her everything, even from last week. Everything.

And then I got a call.

It was from Charlie.

"Sam? You busy?" he asks as I answered the call and put it on the loudspeaker, cursing as it was starting to pour.

"No, just driving, what's up?" I asked.

"The ticket company just called me and said that our tickets are wrong. The one we bought that day. The system glitched or something and there were two other people who bought the same tickets as we did. And now we need to change it if not you can't get in." My eyebrows draw in as horror hits me.

"What?! Why the hell? Why can't they change their tickets?!" I got out angrily knowing how much I want planning for this. I knew something was gonna mess it up.

"I don't know. I think because they bought it at the counter and we bought it online and they say we can't get another one unless we meet them, they need to check our ID and mine because we used my credit card the other day. So. We kinda need to go. Like. Now. If not you're not gonna get any. I just checked. There are few VIP passes still available and some third-row seats." He says and I hear shuffling. I groaned. Fuck.

"This cannot be fucking happening. It's her birthday today. I need to be at home. Fuck! And it's fucking pouring. Where is their office?" I say, getting worked up. It's almost 4.35 now, Avery gets out at 5. I am supposed to be home by then. Fuck! I can't ruin this too.

"It's about an hour away. I know it's her birthday but if you really want these tickets, Sam, we need to go. I can drive us if you want." He says a little agitated as well. I hit my palm on the steering wheel thinking about this. These tickets are important. They would make Avery happy. I need to fucking get them. I can't blow this off, I've been planning this for a while. Fuck!

"Yeah, okay- yeah we're going. And I'll drive and pick you up. I just need to drop a few things home and then I'll be there." I said.

"Alright. They said they're open till 9 so take your time. Maybe you can have dinner and then we go after all the rain?" he suggested and I thought about it. But I wanted to give this as a gift to her when she gets back. And not leave later and I can't not tell her what it is.

"No, we'll go now and fix it. I'll just text her and we'll be back in three hours tops." I replied to him and he hums. We agree on this plan and I'm on my way home to put this up for Avery.

I parked my car and took the flowers, balloons, the teddy bear, her other gift and the cake up. Once I got into our apartment, I quickly checked the fridge to see if we had enough to make dinner today and if we had wine just in case. I then took the flowers and the petals I also got and did a little trail from the door to our bed where I left the gifts and roses in a little heart in the centre of the bed. I lighted some of her favourite candles so that they smelled nice when she came in and then I was off.

I got in the car and texted her since she always has a meeting during this time and I can't call.

S- Babe, I'm so sorry, but I've got to go with Charlie to fix something, I'll be back as soon as I can three hours tops. It's nothing bad don't worry. And there's a little surprise waiting for you at home. I promise I'll be back in time to make dinner and spend the night with you. I love you. ❤🌻

I drove and reached Charlie's house, picking him up as he explained to me everything again. The rain was getting so bad we could barely see anything. I felt so anxious because of it.

"She said anything yet?" Charlie asked referring to Avery. I shook my head, my hands tightening around on the wheel, as my eyes squint to look at the blurry road in front of me.

"I don't think so. She'll be out in a bit. She might call me. She's gonna be even madder." I whisper the last part making him turn to me in question.

"What you mean?" he asked. I sighed, well.

"She got mad because I went to your place for the party yesterday and I lied about it. She doesn't like it when I party and I didn't want to lie, but I know she's gonna be disappointed in me and I didn't want that because it's her birthday soon. I was gonna tell her later. But she found out because she went to see Jake, you know Sky's boy, yeah. I told her I was with Sky and yeah that blew up because she wasn't here. It's completely my fault. I shouldn't have lied." I explained, biting my lip, feeling embarrassed about it.

"Oh Sam, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to stay, I practically begged you to stay." He says and I shake my head, giving him a glance.

"It's not your fault. It's mine. I should have been honest." I offered, it was my fault. We were a little silent after that.

"Maybe we should just pull over, it's too bad Sam. This is dangerous." Charlie voiced out because of the rain and my heart squeezed painfully. I was gonna be so late back. Fuck! I didn't wanna disappoint her anymore.

"Yeah okay." I agreed reluctantly because it's really bad and an accident is not how I want this to go. We pulled over and sat in the car, waiting for the rain to subside as I nervously prayed, still wanting to salvage her day.

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I turned to the clock as it showed 3 minutes to 5 pm. Fucking finally! I've been wanting to go home to Sam the whole day. The meeting ended and I went back to my office to clear my desk a little and checked a few emails before picking up my phone and immediately seeing a few texts from Sam.

A frown grew on my face as I read her text. She says she needs to go somewhere with Charlie, it'll take a while but she said she'll be back by 9. What the hell? Why? To fix something? She didn't even mention what it was. I dialled her number as I walked out with my bag and keys getting into the lift.

"Where are you?" I asked as soon as she picked up. I hear loud noises, like rain? Wait it's raining? I walked to the parking lot, seeing that it was a little gloomy but not raining that much.

"In the car, it's raining really bad, I'm sorry babe." She mutters and I hear the apology in her tone.

"It's okay but where are you going? And why did you have to go today? Why now?" I asked a little hastily, a part of me still hesitant to see if she was gonna lie again.

"Just to an office a little over an hour's drive from her. It's just to uhm, fix something. I bought yeah. There were some system issues and they called us to come to them." She explained making my head spin with confusion.

"It's that important to go today? What did you buy?" I asked as I tried to calm myself down, knowing I was getting angry and I sat into my car, gritting my teeth.

"We don't get it if we don't go today, I'm sorry babe, I can't tell you what it is now, but later I will? Please just trust me." Her voice was so soft and pleading but a part of me didn't want to believe her.

"Why should I?" I wanted to say. After yesterday, why should I? But I couldn't. I know I didn't mean it. I was just crazed with all the pent up anger. I took a few seconds to deal with this logically.

"Okay, alright, fine. Just- be home soon, drive safe. Don't drive when it's raining badly. And I love you, baby girl. See you later then?"

"Thanks, love, I promise I'll be home soon. I love you so much and I'm sorry, really." She whispers and my heart flutters with how angelic she sounds honest. She sounds so innocent and pure and so sure. She's perfect.

"I know baby girl, it's okay."

After settling the issues with the tickets it was almost 8 and Charlie and I were on the way home. Avery texted me saying that she was gonna meet up with a few of her friends including Shadow and Nikolai who came down for her birthday as a surprise. And since I wasn't home she said she'll head for a few drinks with them first.

I don't know why that stung a little when she said it but it did. I thought she'd be waiting for me so that we could spend the night together. She didn't mention anything about the surprise I left for her at home making me wonder if she saw them or she didn't like them or?

About forty minutes into the drive she texted me and said they were at a club, she might be home a little late. I frowned at that but didn't reply until I got home. I entered the apartment seeing that she did see the gifts but made no remark of it.

That's it, I'm going to her. I'm not gonna wait at home for her. I know she wants to see me and I want to see her, to apologize, to talk, to be with her. I texted her to ask at what club she was at and changed into a suitable outfit. An outfit that was gonna makes her want to put her hands all over me.