I stared at the papers crowding my desk, words of missing, boy, Milo Gallagher, pictures and different homes and addresses sat there. Nothing was adding up. How could someone just vanish? He was just a little boy, and there were no missing reports, no adoption papers, no admissions into any school or hospitals. How could this be? Its been almost a year that we've been running around like headless chickens trying to find Milo. Sam has been worried if something had happened to him and honestly, god I hope not. The last thing she needs is this leading to a grave.

"Avery?" I looked up to Sam who was on the opposite side of me, a small frown on her pretty face.

"Yeah?" She put down the paper in her hand and sighed.

"What if he doesn't want to be found? Or that he doesn't want to see me? Maybe we should just give up.." she trails off and I hear the brokenness in her voice.

"Oh darling, no, he's out there and I'm sure he's waiting for you, he misses you. We just, we're close, I can feel it, baby, let's give it another week okay?" I say walking over to where she was. her arms link themselves around my waist and I caressed her hair softly. I don't like seeing her sad. I wanted to find him for Sam, he was like the only part of her past which she did not want to forget and I felt I owe her that.

"How about we take a break yeah? We get some food, catch a movie or something?" I suggested and she looks up at me, a bright grin on her face, gosh I love her.

"Really? Now?" She beams, standing up, leaning into my hold and I move a little closer to breathe in her scent. I nod as my eyes found my mark sitting proudly on the base of her neck, a few hickeys decorating it as well, though they were light, they were proof that she was taken.

"Okay, where are we going?" She asks excitedly. I gave her a kiss before reaching for my jacket and my bag.

"Anywhere you want." She takes her phone and puts on my hoodie, immediately satiating my wolf.

We headed to the little diner Sam wanted to go to, their milkshakes were to die for. We got a burger, fish, and chips and shared a strawberry milkshake. I then realized that it's been a while since we went out. We've been so cooped up at home and Sam was starting university next week and I was going to see her even less. I hated this honestly and I knew she didn't like that I was working almost the whole day, things have been busy at the workplace. Maybe I've been selfish. Sam needs me too, I can't just let her be alone every day, it's not fair to her.

"Hey." I snapped my eyes to Sam's grey ones. What am I doing working so much and leaving her alone?

"What's wrong?" she asks softly and I asked for her hands before moving forward to hold them, seeing the promise ring, and clearly enough I've been already pushing away promises for work. Of course, Sam being Sam, she wouldn't say a word.

"I'm sorry baby," I say in a small voice, startling her seeing a frown form on her face.

"Why?"

"I haven't been spending enough time with you. I'm sorry." I say sincerely and see her features soften.

"Hey, no, don't be babe, please. You're trying your best, you're doing so much, you can't be focused on me as well. I'm okay babe." She says and nonetheless, I see the truth in her eyes.

"No, I promised you, I promised myself that I was going to be here for you, we'd spend at least a few hours every day together and I'm barely home, why haven't you told me anything babygirl?" She looks down, biting her lips. God, how could I have been so stupid? This was how relationships fall apart.

"Come here, hey, c'mere." I whisper, pulling her to me, I needed to hold her. Thank god we got a booth at the corner of this place and that everyone was almost gone. I honestly didn't care if someone was watching us.

"I didn't want to seem needy." She breathes out, embarrassment tinting her cheeks and she leans into my side. Oh, darling.

"You won't ever seem needy baby, no. I'm the needy one between us, look at me, always clinging to you." I say nuzzling into her hair and she giggles slightly such a cutie. She smells so good, oh god.

"I like this." She says softly looking at me. I lean down and catch her lips in a slow kiss, tasting the strawberry from earlier, my arm holding her so close to me. I love her, I love her so much goddess, she's perfect.

"Tell me next time, promise me you will," I say, rubbing her jaw softly, looking into her eyes.

"Promise." She gives me a small smile, making me kiss her again.

"I love you, you know that babygirl?" She blushes and looks away again, making my heart fuzzy with how shy she was.

"I do, I love you so much."

-------------

University just started and it's great honestly. I've got a few good friends and the lecturers are good too. Kinda glad that there isn't much coursework and it's mainly exams here.

Things have been going well with Avery too. We've been spending every night together. The good thing is the university isn't that far away and it's okay for me to drive every day. Most nights just consist of us staying home, being in each other's company, getting some food, and then getting work done and then falling asleep in each other's arms. I can come back home after a long hard day and just fall into Avery's arms and things would get better. She heals me somehow, her touch, her kisses, and her soothing words. It's all making me fall more in love with her. Not forgetting the amount of care and patience she has with me. Always making sure I had enough money, that I had gas in my car, checking it every two weeks, helping out with house chores when I've got an exam, she's literally perfect. Like how, just how did I get so lucky? And God, she loves me. I know she does. After all this time, I can proudly say I know she loves me.

We just haven't found Milo. I revisited the orphanage I came from again to ask them some more questions and went to see some of the people who were there the same time I was but no one had anything to say about him other than the fact that he just left one day and didn't leave a note anything.

"Sam? Come on, don't look so glum." Elijah said nudging my side making me nod and push all thoughts away, I shouldn't be thinking about anything but my friends. They came back and we were currently at a coffee shop catching up for the day.

"Alright, I'm sorry guys," I say sincerely.

"So come on, tell us what's it's like being with her," Kyrah says smirking as she leans forward-leaning on her elbow.

"Ooo, give us the deets hun," Charlie says wiggling his eyebrows. What the hell? They cannot be referring to that.

"It's fine guys, stop it," I say flaming red, pushing Kyrah away with her suggestive looks.

"Fine? Define fine." Charlie says making me give him a deadpanned look. I am not discussing my sex life with them.

"Come on Sam! I wanna know how you guys do it, who's the top? Actually, scratch that, she's the top." Kyrah exclaims making me gasp out in horror and embarrassment.

"Hey..." I chided at them resulting in laughter.

"So you're a pillow princess then?" Charlie says wiggling his eyebrows.

"Shut up guys! Oh my god, I am not a pillow princess, please just change the topic." I groaned covering my face, my heart pounding, god I'm so fucking embarrassed.

"Pleaseeee, give us something, we tell you everything!" Elijah exasperated.

"Hey, I don't ask you for them Eli, you just can't keep your mouth shut." I retorted back.

"Eh, that's true, how can I not brag about how big my-" he was cut off with Kyrah's hand over his mouth, making us stifle with laughter.

"Shut up, Eli! I do not want to hear about how glorious that micropenis of yours is." He gasped out offended.

"Mia's screaming says otherwise, Ky, thank you very much."

"Oh god E! Shut up!" Charlie growled punching his shoulder.

"Guys, come on, we need to head to the cinema if we want to catch the movie," I say changing topics before the light is back on me.

"Oh shit, ya."

We all gathered our stuff, leaving some cash, and walking out. The cinema was just on the other side of the block so we're just walking there. I fell in step with Charlie while Elijah and Kyrah walked in front of us.

"Is everything okay, Sam?" he asked me in a hushed voice, making my heart warm at his concern.

"Yeah, it's good Charlie, don't worry," I reply and he rolled his eyes before hooking his arm around my shoulder pulling me close.

"Right, you need to get it through your thick skull that we're gonna worry Sam, we're friends, you can't expect us to ignore you when you look so sad. Is it cause of Milo?" He asks and I was so touched by what he said.

"Yeah, that mainly. We've been finding him and we always reach a dead end, its frustrating Avery too. And-d, she's sick Char, and I don't know what to do, she doesn't wanna talk about it." I whisper, my heat tugging slightly in worry.

"Sick? What do you mean?" his voice turned to confusion.

"She's been extremely tired, and she almost fainted again yesterday. She doesn't have the strength to carry me and it's like, she's strong and she almost dropped us. She's been eating weird and she doesn't want to admit that there's something wrong with her. I don't know what to do. I have asked her about it and told mom and just nothing, she keeps pushing it away and I don't know what to do, Char." I mumble, trying not to tear up because of how scared I was. I wanted her to drop on finding Milo but she doesn't want to.

"That's bad Sam, really bad. She hasn't gone to the doctor?" I shook my head, breathing deeply.

"I just want her to be okay, you know. I can't lose her Charlie, she's my life." He rubs my shoulder for comfort while I try to pull myself together.

"She'll be okay Sam, she's strong, just talk to your mom, get her to make Avery go to a doctor if you can't okay?" He says and I nod.

"Thanks, Char." He gives me a reassuring smile making me feel a little better that I've had someone to talk to about this. We continued on the walk-in silence, just in each other's thoughts and listening to Kyrah and Eli joke in front of us.

"Damn daddy!" Eli teased as we passed a group of biker guys.

"Oh god!" Kyrah roared at him, shutting him up as they hollered back, giving all of us suggestive glances and a few catcalls.

"Jesus, Eli." I groaned as he continued with his nonsense, winking at those guys. Goodness.

"Whaaattttt?" he trailed off to us. "They looked hot. Nothing happened guys, god." He rolls his eyes.

"Hey Sam, uh..is that Avery?" My eyes snapped following Kyrah's finger and sure enough, it was Avery, making me halt in my steps. What is she doing out? I thought she's at work?

"Yeah..who's that?" I tensed as I saw her looking so fragile, sitting in front of an unknown guy, nodding a whatever he was saying, a small smile on her face.

"I don't know who that is," I say absentmindedly. Probably a coworker.

"Maybe we should just go, we're getting late." Charlie chastized from beside me. A part of me thinks he's making sure I don't see anything I shouldn't. I don't reply to him and watch Avery pass him an envelope, casually slipping it on the table while their eyes watched people around them and he takes it and hides it under his coat.

"Are we all looking at the same thing? Did that just happen? Sam, is Avery doing drugs?" Eli asked stupidly and I frowned.

"No, she doesn't, it's nothing guys. Let's just go please." I say, turning away. They didn't say anything further and I made a mental note to ask Avery about it later. There was this little nagging doubt about what has been going on in her life but she wouldn't go down that road.

I got back home after that movie with my friends, picking up some noodles for Avery and me since she said she hasn't had dinner yet. I was going crazy with the thoughts of what we saw just now when Avery passed that envelope to that guy. What was in it? Why didn't she tell me? Why did she lie? Did she not trust me? Was it bad?

I sighed, gaining the courage to ask her about it. It was a little hard to talk to her sometimes, it's like I can't push her to open up, or maybe I'm just worried that she'd shut me out. She has never done that but I just get scared. I unlocked our front door and heard the TV on and some movement before Avery walked up to me. My heart lightening up at how beautiful she is. I give her a small smile and shut the door behind me before walking over to her.

"Hi, baby." She says, her arms circling around my waist, pulling me close. I sighed and hugged her back, nuzzling my face into her neck, leaving some kisses.

"What's wrong?" Her voice comes out full of concern.

"Do you trust me, Avery?" I asked pulling back going straight into this, knowing I can't hide anything from her. I wrapped my hands around her shoulders after putting the food and my bag down. Her green eyes searched mine as mine did hers. Talk to me Avery, please baby.

"Of course, love, why?" I took a deep breath as her fingers started rubbing soothing circles on my hips.

"You know you can tell me anything right?" she tenses and my heart stops. Her eyes flashed with a little fear and uncertainty. She doesn't say anything for a bit and the whole time I feel my heart breaking further. She doesn't trust me.

"Hey, no, it's not that." She says, reading my mind, internally cursing that I let that slip. Her left-hand cups my cheek and I leaned into it.

"I trust you babygirl, it's not that." She whispers now and I feel her retract from me slowly and I didn't want her to.

"Then?" I questioned and she kisses me as an answer and I let her.

"Do you want to have children someday?" she mutters against my lips and I froze at her question, pulling back appalled at how she switched the topic.

"Babe..." I trailed off, upset at what she did.

"No, listen, do you?" She asks again and I see the fear in her eyes and immediately I succumb to her eyes again.

"Of course Avery, of course. I want them, with you." I say sincerely, her eyes closed and I felt her body shake slightly in my arms. What's going on?

"I can't have them..." she whispered, so softly I barely caught it.

"What do you mean?" I got out, my voice choked now. Why was I getting emotional?

"I can't have kids Sam, I can't..I'm...I lost them...I...I can't get you pregnant." She got out, her voice, hoarse as she opened her eyes which were full of unshed tears now and she looked at me. She could get me pregnant? What?

"Babe..I don't understand..we're girls.." I say unsure of where this is going.

"You're my mate, chosen by the goddess. The Oracle told me I could get you pregnant, but only when we have sex during a full moon, which we haven't yet. And I just, I got so happy you know, we could have kids of our own. I want to get you pregnant, someday, I'm sure you remembered everything I said when we mated." She says her eyes sharp with a tint of lust in them and I flush, my mind brought back to the memories of the time we mated, clearly remembering Avery saying that she wanted to see me pregnant with her pups, I didn't think she meant it like literally.

"Yeah, I wanted to surprise you I guess, in some stupid way and tell you about it, and then I got sick. Ever since we mated Sam, I've been sick. And I know you've been asking me to check it out, so I did, I went to the oracle. I just....I wasn't ready for mum to know if it was bad." She heaves and I see her lip tremble and I tightened my hold on her, wanting her to know that I'm here for her no matter what.

"What-t did she say?" I whispered, scared.

"The potion I took made me barren."

My mouth dropped open at that. The potion. The potion she took because of me. Her eyes glazed over with tears but as usual, she was trying to be strong for me. My heart hammered and broke in my chest, I wanted to wail and scream. This was so unfair.

"I can never have babies Sam, I can never have them with you." She lets out a choked sob and dropped to the ground, her figure shaking. I quickly followed and wrapped my arms around her, letting her cry into my shoulder.

"I wanted to be a mum, I wanted to have my own wolf babies, my pups..." she whispered, her voice hoarse.

"I'm so sorry Avery, I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be something like this babe, gosh.," I mutter, caressing her hair. She pulls back after a while, trying to collect herself, wiping her tears but I see the pain in her eyes.

"My wolf is broken Sam, and I feel responsible somehow. This was never supposed to happen, I was careless with the potion. I was just so stupid!" She growled angrily now and I felt lost, I didn't know what to say or how to help her.

"You're not stupid babe, don't say that you didn't know it could happen. Is there no way to fix this?" I asked softly, reaching for her hand, wanting to soothe her.

"No, it's done. I just have to live with it." She spits out harshly, still angry and hurt.

"We'll live with it okay? It's not your fault Avery, it really isn't please don't beat yourself up." She sighs, slumping her body.

"I'm just tired you know, tired of things not going the way I want it to." She croaks, her eyes meeting mine with a small smile on her face, trying to be strong. You don't have to Avery.

"I know babe, it's hard but this isn't your fault okay? It's not." I start as she sighs and nods sadly. I took her hands in mine, kissing them and reassuring her.

"And you know what, one day we'll adopt some babies and it'll still be ours, yours, you'll be their mommy okay?" I reply, trying to cheer her up and she cracks a smile.

"Once I make you my wife then yes." She says back, her arms reaching for my waist as I blushed red with that sentence. Wife?

"Really?" I asked in a small voice. She nods, kissing my cheek, all calmed down now. Sometimes it surprised me on how quickly she composed herself.

"Of course, babygirl." I grin at her words and turn a little to kiss her. She smiles against my lips and I bring my hands up to curl around her neck, playing with the roots of her hair. Avery drags her hand down to my thighs, hooking them from the back, pushing me to her before lifting us off the ground.

I pulled back looking at her surprise. She got her strength back. She gives me a knowing look.

"Vitamins. I got them yesterday." Was all she said before her lips were back on mine. The air around us changed from being sad earlier to this, thick sexual tension, we're such a rollercoaster honestly.

************************************

I let out a small groan as she drops us on the couch, perching me up on her thighs, her both hands cupping my ass, squeezing them slightly in her grip making a jolt pass through me.

"I missed you." She lets out pulling away an inch just enough to let me feel her hot breath on my jaw just before she placed kisses down till my collarbone.

"I've been here babe," I mutter as I feel her nip against my skin, trying my best not to let out embarrassing moans.

"I know, I missed touching you like this. And you smell like Charlie which I don't approve of." She growls out, making me snap my eyes to her now yellow ones.