"No!!" I yelled furiously banging my fist on the table, my wolf was out as I growled at Alpha and the Oracle in front of me. We sat here, telling the oracle about me finding my mate. She wasn't as shocked as she was supposed to be and somehow knew as if she waiting for this to happen. She wasn't even surprised when I mentioned that my mate was female. But throughout this whole discussion, she never once said anything yet. She just listened to us, thinking.

"Avery calm down," Alpha demanded, his arms crossed. Mum placed her hand on my shoulder trying to calm me down but I pushed her hand off it. I growled, tugging on my hair. I can't leave her!

"No, how do you want me to calm down?! I can't live without her, you know that and you want me to leave her?!" I raged out again, I was livid. I'm not leaving my mate. Not now. Not ever. They cannot make me do such a thing.

"There's nothing we can do Avery," Jake mumbled. I glared at him.

"You can let me be with her," I stated and Alpha put his hand up.

"You know we can't do that, what happens when the full moon comes?" he asks now looking at me pointedly.

"I'll control myself. It won't be that hard, please Alpha, you can't do this to me." I begged. Jake's dad has always been another dad to me. He needs to trust me, it can't be that hard to control myself when I go into heat, I know she's young, I would never do anything till she's 18 and ready. Please. I pleaded now. I can't lose her. I can't. She's my mate.

"Avery, I'm sorry. If something happens, you know what will they will do, the Elders are not forgiving." He says softly now. By this, tears were already pouring down my face. I fell to the ground.

"I can't- please, please." I sobbed, my wolf wailed and my heart shattered, I was so numb, I could hear a ringing sound in my ears again, no.

"Sweetie, calm down, hey." Mum kneeled beside me and pulled me for a hug. I sobbed and cried into her, grasping her blouse, and heaving.

"Mum, I can't not see her, please. I'll go crazy, I just found her. I know I can control myself. Please." I begged, whispering in her ear. She says nothing but held me tighter.

"Avery, listen, I'll give you time till you have to leave for the academy. Since your heat will only start 3 full moons from next week, you have 3 months. Then I want you to stay on campus, or get a place. You can see her, but have to remain just friends." Alpha says again and I curled my fingers into a fist, trying not to get angry again.

"Will I get to try, just once to see if I can control myself? We don't even know if the bond is there. She isn't a wolf and she isn't old enough. What if there's nothing?" I try, goddess please, give me something, I cannot be apart from her, I can't. I looked at him and he sighs.

"Fine, just once. If anything happens, you know what will happen." Alpha says and I nod, sighing sadly.

My heart ached at what was happening. How was I going to tell her? What do I say? Do I tell her the truth?

"I can help you with something." Zara, the Oracle said, her eyes hard and stoic. I immediately looked at her, my eyes silently begging for something.

"You can give her a forgetting potion. She'll have no memory of you, and meeting you and you keep it that way till she's 18. Her memories may or may not come back then." I shook my head, no. I can't do that. No. I've got to let her go for two years? What if she meets someone else? No, she's mine.

"There is another way and I'm going to be frank and say you won't be able to control yourself during heat. You're a beta, and you're taking over the pack soon, the power you have in you is at its peak, and you need your mate by your side through this. And it's only fair that it happens that way. But, you know the rules, mates are not allowed to mark each other or mate until both are 18 and are consenting to it. You can tell her this, but when your heat comes, I'll give you a potion that will suppress your heat. It'll keep you intact and not want to jump your mate or anyone else during that time. Though we have to try it out and see if it works for you, it might not be strong enough, as in you can be around her but no touching her at all during those 3 days." she explains and my thoughts are all over the place, my wolf is a mess, crying, not wanting to let our mate go.

"But, I do have to tell you, taking the potion, has some side effects, since it's going against the laws of not consummating with your mate, your wolf will weaken." At that moment my heart stopped. I searched her eyes for answers, my hold tightening on mum afraid of what I was going to hear.

"What do you mean?" I choked out.

"Every time you take it, your wolf weakens, and I'm afraid if you take it over the course of 2 years, your wolf will not survive." The oracle said and I gasped. Everyone had their eyes on me now. I had to give up my wolf because my mate is too young?

"My wolf will be gone forever?" I whispered out, in the silent room. I heard a hum from the oracle and I sighed and closed my eyes.

Do it, it's for our mate.

"What if I don't, see her or be with her throughout my heat each month? Then I wouldn't need to take the potion." I asked.

"But you might give in and find someone else, and if you don't, the heat will tire your human self," Mum said beside me.

"Does everyone go through this? Like or is it the first time this has happened?" I spat out angrily now.

"Normally the goddess pairs us perfectly Avery, in this case, I'm not sure," Dad said. I huffed in frustration. My luck then. I have to do this. There's no other way. But what if my wolf weakens and I can't get her back?

I bit my lip, trying not to sob hearing my wolf mutter it in my head, a small painful cry echoed though as well. I can't do this. I'll not be a wolf anymore? How will that affect my role as a beta? Will our bond fade? Will I not feel sparks when I touch Sam again?

"But it's not my fault, I do not want to not mate with her, she's young, that's not my fault." my voice wavering, still not wanting to believe this. Is there no other way?

"I don't know child, things are like that," she said and I feel the tension getting more in the room. I swallowed and pushed all my thoughts away.

I had so many questions, but at that moment, I didn't know what to say or where to start. I was exhausted and drained.

"Listen, child, it's your choice. You can choose to take it maybe a month at a time, and then not be with her for a bit, a few months, let your wolf heal and then do it again, be careful. If you lose your wolf, you can never change again." Zara said again and my head whipped up to look at her, horror on my face. It hits me again to how serious this matter actually is. It's either I am with Sam and keep my wolf, or the other way. I had to be careful there was only one way. I had to take the potion and be careful. Take months apart. Could I even survive taking months apart from her? Would she? It may not hurt her as much as it will hurt me. And I'm glad about that. She doesn't need to feel any more pain especially for something she didn't choose.

My chest constricted at that thought. She didn't choose this life. She didn't choose to be my mate. And yet, here she is. What if she doesn't even want to? How do I tell her? I need to tell her this, and everything. She needs to know the truth and what will happen three months from now, for 2 years till she's 18.

"I need time," I whisper and got up off the ground, pulling away from mum's hold and dashed out of the room, ignoring their calls. I need time. I need to be alone now.

I pushed the door open and my eyes fell on Sam. She immediately looked up at me, and she tensed sensing how frantic I looked. I must look horrid with tears on my face. I sighed and wiped my face and walked up to her. She stood up, her eyes careful as she scanned me. My hands balled up to fists, calming myself down, even though my wolf was in a panic state, my heart was erratic and scared.

"What happened?" she asks nearing me. I didn't say anything as I stood looking at her. She's so beautiful, and she looks so sad. She shouldn't be sad. Not because of me. I know what I'm going to tell her is going to hurt. Maybe it's best if I give her the forgetting potion. Maybe that way she wouldn't be in pain. Because being in pain, hurts, it hurts so much, my heart hurts so much now and there's nothing I can do about it. I couldn't cry, I couldn't scream, there was no one to blame. It just, it is what it is. And I've got to deal with it.

"Sorry." my voice, barely a whisper as I reach for her wrist, holding it, rubbing her palm. I might never get to do this later. She looks at me, shyly but confused.

"What for?" she asks, as I feel her near me as if she took a step closer. I inhaled her scent, goddess, I almost growled out, wanting to pull her closer.

But I didn't.

I needed to stop doing things. I needed to stop holding her. It's wrong. I needed to stop kissing her. It's wrong. I shouldn't feel this way towards her. It's wrong. She's still a child. This is wrong. My wolf whined in my head, arguing that this isn't wrong. Sam is our mate.

I continue to say nothing and stare at her, memorizing her face, as if I could ever forget it.

"Avery?" she calls out my name, and my heart tugged at it, it ached, hearing my name fall from her lips.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," I mumble, kissing her head. I let my lips linger there, taking another whiff of her scent and pulling back to look at her, and her eyes widened in confusion and fear, her hand turn to hold mine and I bit my lip.

"Where?" she asks, I shook my head not wanting to answer and pulled my hand out of hers and turned off, my throat clogging.

"I'm sorry Sam, I'll see you soon. Take care." I mumbled out as I kissed her cheek and pulled myself away from her and ran out the door. I hear her calling after me and following me but I picked up my pace and ran out of the packhouse and into the woods just as my wolf muttered, her voice so soft and in pain.

Do this for Sam.

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