I was already awake when my alarm went off, I had spent the whole night tossing and turning with anxiety, terrified of Wesley returning during the night. I really didn't wanna go to school and run the risk of seeing Wesley, but my mom was black and if I wasn't visibly sick or dying, I would be at school- whether I liked it or not.

I forced myself out of bed and dragged my feet into my bathroom as I took a few minutes to stare at my reflection. It was only then, did I notice the soft, light purple bruises on my neck and for a second, I felt butterflies in my stomach as memories with Haydn flooded my mind but those were quickly replaced with anxiety and rage as my eyes dropped to the angry, dark bruises wrapped around my biceps.

I felt sick.

For the rest of the morning, I couldn't look at myself and went about getting ready for the day, I wasn't looking forward to seeing my friends or Haydn or cheer practice, but I knew I had to suck it up. I put on a pair of black baggy pants, a plain shirt and a black hoodie before tying my curls in a bun, laying my edges and doing my makeup, covering the love bites- trying desperately to show that there was nothing wrong. Collecting my bag and slipping on my white sneakers I made my way downstairs, relieved to see my mom busy in the kitchen.

"Morning," I murmured as I walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Morning baby." She smiled before frowning slightly as she stared at me. "Are you okay? Is something wrong?" She noted and I shrugged as she walked up to me and felt my forehead briefly.

"I'm fine mom, just tired." I sighed, relieved to hear my dad come downstairs since that meant my mom didn't have a chance to see right through me.

"Morning sweetheart." My dad grinned in a thick accent. "How did you sleep?"

"Okay, I guess." I shrugged with a small smile. "What about you?" I asked to be polite.

"Not good, there was so much noise outside last night." He murmured as my mom passed him his coffee in a to-go mug.

"Weird, I didn't hear anything," I mumbled in a panic before taking a sip of water.

"Weird." He agreed and I held back a smile at his accent around the word. "I'm about to leave and it's starting to rain, do you want me to take you to school?" He offered worriedly and I felt relieved- I really didn't wanna drive in the rain today.

"Yes please." I smiled as I grabbed my bag and kissed my mom on the cheek before I walked into the garage, my dad following me out.

In the car I stared at the raindrops sliding across the window, drowning out the boring noise of the radio as I felt myself growing more anxious the closer, we got to the school building. I was praying that Wesley didn't show anyone the video or do something worse that would lead everyone laughing at me or shaming me or-

"Cristina?" My dad called out to me, halting my thoughts as my heartbeat rapidly in my chest.

I was gonna throw up.

"Yeah, dad?" I asked and he frowned.

"You seem to be deep in thought, are you okay?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," I explained as the school building came into my sight and I felt bile rise in my throat.

"Okay sweetheart, well I hope you have a good day." He smiled as he parked the car, and I felt my hands shaking uncontrollably as I opened the door and stepped out.

I barely registered my dad driving off or the hum of students due to the blood rushing in my ears, my mind was starting to convince me that everyone was staring at me- laughing at me. I tried to control my breathing as I walked to my locker, ignoring everyone like the anxious bad bitch I was trying to portray. My hands were still shaking as I opened my locker, trying my best to be quick so I could go and sit in the bathrooms until it was time for class, or my anxiety subsided- whichever came first.

"Hey, Cristina!" Blanca greeted me and I jumped in surprise. "Woah, relax it's just me." She laughed as she got her stuff from her locker.

"H-hey Blanca." I stuttered as I felt the noise around suddenly crash into me, making me worry further. "C-can I ask you a question?" I asked softly and she frowned.

"Sure, I guess."

"Have you heard anything about me or Wesley today?" I asked, a little desperately and she shook her head slowly.

"Nooo, why? Did something happen?" She asked and I shook my head quickly.

"No, I was just wondering," I whispered as I closed my locker and walked off quickly because as stressed as I was about Wesley leaking the video I was just as stressed about running into Wesley.

As soon as I sat in my seat, I pulled my hood up and put my head down, waiting for class to begin. I wasn't surprised when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I knew it was probably Blanca blowing up the group chat, but I couldn't bring myself to answer and instead, I just waited for class to start.

Throughout the morning I moved on autopilot, making sure to keep my hood up and head down in an attempt to make it until the end of the day. It was working really well for me, that is until it was lunchtime and I found myself cornered against my locker with Blanca, Logan and Roxanne staring me down.

"Okay Cristina, what the fuck is going on with you today?" Roxanne asked sternly and I decided to play dumb.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine." I lied, glancing around in case I saw Wesley- I was hoping that he was too hungover to come to school.

"No, you're not!" Logan stressed. "You've been jumpy and ignoring us all day."

"Yeah psycho, what's with you?" Blanca asked. "Even Haydn hasn't seen you, she's stressed thinking you're ignoring her because of her own shit."

"What?! No, Haydn hasn't done anything wrong." I groaned and Blanca rolled her eyes.

"Yeah dummy, we know that but obviously she doesn't since all she knows is her girlfriend is walking around, avoiding everyone, like someone died," Blanca explained and I immediately felt guilty, I knew how much Haydn had been going through lately and I hated thinking I was making her feel worse.

"Cristina, what's going on?" Roxanne asked again in a warmer tone, and I felt my resolve melt, I knew I had to tell them- they were my friends, after all, they just wanted to help me.

"It's about Wesley." I whispered lowly. "He was at my house last night."

"OH GOD DID YOU CHEAT ON HAYDN?!" Logan exclaimed in a whisper, and I immediately shook my head in disgust.

"Ew, no, I didn't even know he was there. He just pitched up and he-" I started but a movement behind Logan's head caught my attention and as soon as I saw his face, I felt my blood turn to ice.

Wesley was there, in front of me, wearing a smug expression on his face as he stared at me, his eyes telling me he remembered everything. The son of a bitch even had the audacity to wink at me as we walked away with his friends, while I felt as though the world just stopped and the ground disappeared beneath me.

"Cristina?" Someone called out but I couldn't decipher whose voice it was because I was too busy trying to force air back into my lungs.

Then suddenly, it was as though everything hit me at once: the dread, the rushing blood in my ears and shaking hands- only this time no matter how many breaths I took there was no oxygen entering my body.

"I can't breathe," I mumbled as my shaking hands reached for my neckline, pulling it back but it didn't help. "I can't breathe," I repeated, a little more distressed as my legs could barely keep me up and I felt suffocating arms tug my body in a different direction.

I felt my feet moving but I wasn't focusing on where I was going until I felt cold air on my face, and I realized I was on the covered section of the roof. Although the cool air felt amazing on my face, I couldn't control my body and my breaths grew quick and shallow. My legs couldn't hold me up and I sank to the ground, pulling my legs to my chest as I tried to control my breathing.

But that's when I heard her voice through the roaring of the pouring rain.

"Cristina, I'm here," Haydn spoke as she placed her hands on my knees, but I couldn't reply. "Baby, you're having a panic attack but you're okay, I'm here, you're safe. I won't let anyone hurt you, okay?" She spoke lowly to me, making sure I was the only one who heard her.

"I can't breathe," I murmured as I felt her warm hands wrap around mine.

"I know baby, I know." She said calmly as she placed my hand on her chest and the other on my own, still holding my hands while her honey-coloured eyes didn't leave mine. "But I need you to breathe with me, okay baby? In and out. In and out. That's all." She repeated slowly and feeling her slow, steady breaths under my hand I started to try and match my breathing to hers.

I didn't know how long it took me to get my breathing under control but when I finally did, I was greeted by Haydn's beautiful and concerned face with the figures of my friends standing a few steps away.

"I'm sorry," I whispered tearfully and Haydn shook her head gently as her hands went to caress my face that I realized was streaked with tears.

"Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong." She whispered, wiping my tears away with her thumbs as her cool rings contrasted with my warm face. "Are you okay?"

I sniffed. "Kinda, thanks."

"Don't thank me either." She said with a small smile before she helped me stand up and only once I was standing on my own two feet did, I feel comfortable to speak.

"How long was I-?" I asked quietly.

"About five minutes, not that long," Haydn reassured me as my friends came towards me but I felt like she was lying to me.

"Oh my God Cris, are you okay?!" Logan exclaimed, talking for them and I nodded.

"Yeah, just a little warm. I'm sorry about what happened."

"What the fuck, don't apologize. We were so scared; you haven't had such a bad panic attack in years." Roxanne replied and I shrugged as Haydn tugged on my hoodie, grabbing my attention.

"Let's take this off so you can breathe properly." She suggested and I helped her take off my hoodie, instantly feeling better.

However, I had completely forgotten about the bruises Wesley left on me the night before so I soon as Haydn took my hoodie into her hands everyone audibly gasped.

"CRISTINA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" Blanca screamed pulling my arm towards her to get a better look.

"Who did that you?", "What happened?!" Roxanne and Logan asked at the same time, fawning over the bruises on my arms but I pulled my arm back.

"I'll explain, okay. I just-" I started but was cut off by a distressed-looking Haydn.

"Did I do that?" She asked in horror, and I frowned before I understood what she was asking.

"What? OH NO, God no!" I reassured her, grabbing her arm so that she wouldn't move away from me. "It wasn't you. It was Wesley."

"WHAT?!" My friends exclaimed in union while I watched a dark look take over Haydn.

"I'll kill him." She said in a dark tone as she started to walk towards the exit, but I immediately stopped her, tugging on her shirt.

"No, wait!" I cried and Blanca scoffed.

"Why are you stopping her?! Fuck it, I'll help you kill him." Blanca said angrily and I shook my head.

"No, please," I begged, my grip still strong on Haydn.

"How did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?" Haydn asked and I shrugged while my friends echoed in agreement.

"Yeah! Why didn't you tell us?!" Logan asked and I sighed deeply.

"I dunno, it happened so fast. He was throwing stones at my window last night and I thought it was you," I said to Haydn, "so I went to the window, but it was Wesley, and he was drunk and wanting to get back together. I tried to get him to leave but I didn't want to wake my parents up so I went downstairs and tried to get him to leave but then he started to get angry, and he grabbed me and threatened me and wouldn't let me go. He only left when his friends on the streets started screaming for him but not before doing some damage." I explained softly and within seconds Haydn had wrapped her arms around me and whatever anxiety I felt immediately left me.

Then it dawned on me, I felt so completely safe with Haydn that it shocked me in the best way possible. I didn't even feel this way around my friends, Haydn saw me at an extremely low point and helped me and held me and tried to protect me.

I didn't deserve her.

"I'm gonna go downstairs and get my stuff and then I'm taking you home." She whispered in my ear, but it was more of a demand than a suggestion.

"Okay, just please don't get into any fights," I replied.

"No promises." She murmured before she kissed my forehead and dipped out.

As soon as Haydn disappeared Blanca, Logan and Roxanne immediately hugged me tightly and I felt my anxiety return.

"Guys, there's more," I whispered and when they drew back, I looked down at the floor. "But you have to promise not to tell Haydn," I emphasized, and they all agreed immediately- real ones. "Wesley is threatening to leak a video, a video I didn't know he had or consented to," I admitted and Logan, our sweet, innocent friend replied.

"That motherfucking bastard."

"I don't know what to do guys," I admitted, my heartbreaking in the process.

"What do you mean you don't know what to do? Report him to the police." Roxanne pushed and I shook my head.

"Are you forgetting who his parents are? If I report him nothing will happen to him and then he really would leak the video." I explained somberly.

"Why haven't you told Haydn about it?" Logan asked and I shook my head.

"I can't," I stressed. "She's going through a lot right now with her mother and stuff, I can't make my problems her problems."

"But-"

"No, Haydn can't know," I said seriously, and they agreed. "I'm gonna go with her now but if you guys are free later do you think you can come over so we could talk more?" I asked and they all agreed.

"Don't worry Cris, we'll be there," Roxanne said reassuringly.

"Yeah, and I'll cover for you at practice." Logan offered and I smiled gratefully at her.

"We won't let Wesley win, I promise." Blanca smiled before they all hugged me again.

Afterwards, they walked me to my locker to get my stuff and then all together we walked to Haydn's car, and I kept my head down the entire time so I wouldn't see anyone around me.