As soon as the word fell from Haydn's lips something in my mind clicked as I took in the nameless woman for the second time. She wasn't very tall, only standing at 5'5 and even though she wore multiple layers of faded clothes you could see how thin she was. She had long, stringy black hair and although it was frizzy you could still see that it still held a few curls, while her structured facial features bore a strong resemblance to Haydn. However, it was her hollowed eyes that sold it for me, because looking at the woman I knew I was looking at the unique, golden eyes of Haydn but the lost and delirious glaze told me she was anyone but.

"Fuck." I whispered unintentionally as I tightened my hold on Haydn's hand, but she stood motionlessly in place, gaining the attention of the woman.

"Are you-" Haydn started as she tried to take a step forward, but she was cut off by the woman stepping closer to us.

"Do I know you?" She slurred in a hoarse voice as she went to cover the marks on her arms, and that's when cold realization sunk into my bones, confirming my suspicions.

Haydn's mom couldn't recognize her.

Haydn stood quietly beside me, presumably still in shock from this surreal interaction, which I didn't think could get any worse- that was until she saw our intertwined hands and her face twisted in disgust.

"Never mind, no one I know would be seen with her." She spat, referring to me, as she walked off and Haydn tensed up.

"What the fuck did you say?" Haydn challenged as she took a threatening step towards her before the woman hurriedly scurried off, and it was only when she rounded the corner did, I feel Haydn shaking next to me.

"Haydn?" I asked quietly as she stared after the woman, who was no longer in sight. "Haydn?" I spoke again, finally pulling her attention to me and my heart crumbled at the tears in her eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked gently and a stony expression fell over her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine I just want to fucking leave." She muttered, ripping her hand out of mine as she stormed off to her car.

I slowly followed behind, growing more worried the closer I got. Her hands were shaking so bad she could barely get the key in the car door, and it hurt that I couldn't take her pain away.

"Haydn-" I started as I tried to reach for her hand, but she cut me off.

"I don't want to talk about it, Cristina." She muttered, not meeting my eyes but I just gently put my hands on hers.

"I was just gonna ask if I can drive," I reassured her, and she finally turned to me.

"You know how to drive a stick shift?" She frowned as I smiled gently at her.

"My dad is a mechanic, of course I know how to drive stick shift."

"Thank you." She sighed heavily and allowed me to take the keys out of her hands.

She carefully kissed me on the side of my forehead before moving past me and it wasn't long before she was standing on the passenger side as I unlocked the door. The drive back to my house was filled with silence and the nasal voice of some radio producer through the speakers, Haydn staying quiet the whole drive until we were sitting in my driveway.

"Haydn-" I started but was cut off as she opened her passenger door but didn't get out.

"I think I'm just gonna go home." She whispered, not looking at me but I knew by the tone of her voice I couldn't let her leave.

"No." I refused, her surprised, tearful gaze finally falling on me.

"Cristina, I can't-" She started but I cut her off.

"No, I'm not going to let you go home and deal with this alone." I insisted. "I can't promise that I completely understand how you're feeling right now but I can promise to try, to be here, to help you- whether that means listening to vent and scream or hold you when you cry. So, you're coming inside."

I monitored Haydn's unreadable expression as she looked at me, fighting herself behind her eyes as she mulled over my words. All I wanted to do was help her, protect her from the crippling heartbreak that would come when she was at home and Laura and Luis were too busy pretending, she didn't exist to see her crumble. I wanted her to crumble here, with me, so I could help her put herself back together if she needed it, I wanted to be there for small, helpless Haydn, eating cold Spaghetti-Os from a can because no one else was- but I knew it wasn't my choice to make.

"I can't burden you with this Cristina. It's too soon."

"That is my decision to make, and I've made it. So why don't you just come inside?" I practically begged and I saw a crack in her cold demeanor. "Please Haydn?" I added softly as she stared at me, analyzing me before her shoulders sank.

She said nodded gently before she hopped out of the car as I sighed in relief, leading her inside.

Being a comforter was something new to me but looking at Haydn all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and absorb all her pain until it left her eyes. Thankfully my mom taught me well, so I placed Haydn at our breakfast booth, leaving her alone with her thoughts as I made chamomile and lavender tea with honey, I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do but I knew something warm sometimes helped. When it was done, I carried two full mugs to the table, setting one in front of Haydn who barely even acknowledged it and for a second, I thought I made a mistake, I thought maybe I pushed her too far and overstepped. I thought I fucked up, until she slowly grabbed my hand, gently lacing our fingers together but her watery eyes refused to meet mine.

"I'm fucking sorry Cristina, I never thought you'd see such an ugly part of my life, especially not so soon. As soon as I saw her, I was terrified that once you realized who she was, you wouldn't stop seeing her in me and you would rather leave me. I wouldn't blame you if you did, this is a lot to put on a person." She said softly, breaking my heart, so instead of erasing the bad thoughts from her mind I moved closer until our thighs were pressed together, and I could feel the warmth from my body seep into hers.

"Haydn when I realized who she was to you all I cared about was making sure you were okay, I didn't care about anything else, and I still don't," I promised, making sure I made her feel safe.

"But it's too much, too soon-" She started but I couldn't let her continue.

"Says who?" I asked gently, leaving her speechless. "Because you and me are the only ones who matter here and I'm telling you that I can handle it." I promised but when I was met with silence I continued. "But you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, the last thing I want to do is push you, we can just go upstairs and watch a movie or something." I offered, seeing the relief in her eyes.

"Yeah, I like that idea." She nodded and I tried not to let my disappointment show as we moved from the breakfast bar to my room, taking our tea with us.

Although the tea seemed meaningless since by the time we had made it up to my room and put some pointless movie on my laptop, Haydn was wrapped in my arms, her head tucked under my chin and we were too comfortable to move or even reach for our mugs. While my one arm held her close the other curled around her so I could slip my fingers into her hair, massaging her scalp comfortingly since I didn't want to be the first one to break the silence, I left that up to her- but it didn't take too long before she cracked.

"She wasn't always like that," Haydn said so softly I almost missed it, but I chose to keep quiet. "She was a good mom, in the beginning, I remember enough glimpses to know that, but then she got hurt at work when I was seven. I remember she had a cast for a while, it used to hurt a lot, she was always complaining about it and so there was always pills around. It was that way for a long time, even after the cast came off, and we had to move- twice- each time to a worse neighborhood." She continued; I could feel her whole body tense up against me. "She faked a lot of injuries and lost a lot of jobs and it got to a stage where no one wanted to hire her anymore, that's when things got really bad. Pain pills got too expensive, so she started dabbling in other things, dangerous things, and she started disappearing for longer and longer, one time she was gone for a full week." I made sure to hold her closer.

"It was really scary, lonely too. That's when I started spending as much time out of the house as possible, falling in with the wrong crowds just to avoid going back home." She sighed deeply, her voice thick with emotion. "One day we got into a fight, a really bad one, she was too high to remember my birthday and as punishment for disrespecting her, I got locked inside. I couldn't get out and she was gone for days." She whispered as I felt tears gather in my eyes. "There was nothing to eat and our lights and heat had already been switched off, it was brutal; I didn't think I would've made it out alive if it wasn't for a neighbour finally came over to find out what all my screaming was about. They called the cops, found Luis and I never saw my mom again...until today."

The room was silent for a few heartbeats as I was left speechless, still processing everything she told me.

"Fuck," Haydn murmured as she sat up, hovering over me, her hair gently spilling over her shoulder as she stared down at me with terrified eyes, ready to pull away from me.

"I said too much, didn't I?"

Her reaction immediately made me switch on.

"No, no, no!" I promised, sitting up so I was closer to her, so I could hold her face and look her in her eyes. "Haydn nothing about what you told me is too much. I'm just surprised, I had no idea this is what you were carrying with you. You were so young, you didn't deserve any of it, you know that right?" I asked gently and it was like something clicked in her mind but in a bad way.

"I need to leave." She muttered, breaking eye contact with me to pull herself off my bed and away from me as she retreated back behind her walls.

"Haydn-" I started but she didn't let me get a word in.

"Thanks for the tea and the help, but I just really have to go. I'll see you at school, okay?" She said, not even giving me time to answer before she had disappeared from my room, leaving me shocked and confused at the suddenness of it all.

Was it something I said? I frowned to myself, desperately trying to keep the feeling of nausea at bay. Maybe she just needs space.

Against my better judgement I opened the gate for her and watched as she drove off while I fought every cell in my body telling me to call her and bring her right back. Having nothing else to distract me I laid back in bed with That 70's Show as I did what homework I had left, continuously pushing Haydn out of my mind to stop myself from descending into panic.

The next morning I woke up earlier than normal for school, wanting to be there when Haydn arrived, but she didn't even pitch- she was nowhere to be found and when my calls and texts went unanswered I grew worried.

"Earth to Cristina," Roxanne called out to me, drawing out my name as reality came back to me in the noisy cafeteria.

"Oh, sorry, I just spaced out for a second," I mumbled before turning back to my untouched food.

"Dude what's with this mood you got going on? You look like your vampire boyfriend just told you he didn't want you and abandoned you in the woods." Blanca pointed out and I rolled my eyes.

"Blanca! Now's not the time for fucking Twilight jokes." Logan chastised.

"It's from New Moon, bitch. If you're gonna give me shit for my references at least get them right." Blanca huffed.

"And I thought I was supposed to be the white girl." Logan snorted but before Blanca could reply Roxanne interrupted them.

"Can you two shut up?" She shushed before turning to me. "Are you okay Cris? What's going on?" Roxanne gently asked me, bringing the attention back on me and I let out a deep breath.

I knew I needed to tell someone about what happened with Haydn because I was at a loss at what to do, but I couldn't betray her trust, especially since I knew how hard it was for her to give it out.

"It's nothing." I shrugged. "Just things with Haydn."

"Trouble in paradise already?" Blanca joked and I didn't miss the glare Roxanne gave her.

"Well, you guys finally made it official so it can't be that bad, maybe you're feeling a bit anxious?" Logan suggested gently and I shook my head.

"No, it's not that. Something happened this weekend, something to do with Haydn's past and in the middle of talking about it she just got up and left. Now she's not responding to my calls or texts, and I don't know what to do." I mumbled as I went to massage my temples. "I just want to know if she's okay and let her know that I'm here for her. But I also don't want to push her."

"This is obviously causing you a lot of stress." Roxanne pointed out and I nodded.

"Have you tried talking to Jamal? Maybe he knows something?" Blanca suggested and something clicked in my mind.

"That's actually a really good idea." I agreed. "Do you know if he's at school today?" I asked and Roxanne nodded.

"Yeah, he was in my English class before lunch."

"Does anyone know where he's gonna before afterwards?" I questioned but was met with a resounding "no".

"I think I know where he hangs out during lunch." Logan piped up and relief flooded over me.

"You do?!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, I used to have a thing with one of the guys he'd always hang out with, they always chilled on the balcony off the library at the back," Logan explained.

"The library? That seems like a weird place to hang out during lunch." Roxanne frowned.

"There's a balcony off the library?!" Blanca exclaimed in confusion.

"Yeah, well, the librarian always leaves during lunch so they're normally the only ones in there," Logan said before taking a sip from her water bottle.

"Do you think we could go talk to him?" I asked Logan and she shrugged.

"I don't know if that's where they still are, but we could try," Logan said as she stood up and I followed suit.

"Thank you so much, Logan," I sighed in relief before I promised Roxanne and Blanca, I'd see them later.

Logan and I walked through the halls to the library, all the while I hoped that I'd find Jamal there. I needed to know if Haydn was okay after she left, I liked her so much and the last thing I wanted was for her to break up with me for overstepping.

We quietly slipped through the doors of the empty library, and I followed Logan upstairs as she led me to an old wooden door, you'd miss it if you weren't looking properly. As soon as Logan opened the door, we were met with masculine voices and as we walked down the stairs I was relieved to see Jamal and his friends sitting casually on the floor as he held a hand-rolled cigarette between his fingers.

"Cristina and Logan." He grinned as he saw us. "What do I owe this pleasure ladies?" He asked, his eyes more focused on me which led me to believe he already knew my question.

"Hey." Logan smiled before moving to talk to one of his friends.

"Hi, Jamal." I smiled kindly. "Do you think we could talk?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll be back guys." He said to the two nameless people before gesturing with his head to the other side of the rather large balcony. "Is this about Haydn?" He asked as we walked away from everyone.

"Kinda," I said with a small smile. "Did she tell you about yesterday?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around my stomach.

"You mean when you two saw her mother outside?"

"Yeah, well, she kinda ran out of my house in the middle of our conversation and now she won't talk to me." I sighed and he smiled gently at me.

"You really like her, don't you?" He grinned.

"I thought that was obvious by now." I blushed. "I'm just worried about her Jamal, I want to be there for her but I also don't want to push her," I admitted, unable to keep my insecurities to myself anymore.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much Cris, she likes you a lot- you make her happy." He said reassuringly as my cheeks turned red.

"But she literally ran away from me."

"This is Haydn we're talking about- she's scared of being vulnerable and letting people know she struggles." He explained jokingly and I groaned.

"You can say that again." I snorted and he took a long look at me before he sighed.

"Look, I don't want to betray my friend or anything, so I'll help you this one time. Knowing Haydn for as long as I have, I think she's afraid of you."

"Afraid?" I frowned, remembering our conversation from the diner as he nodded.

"Haydn is probably ignoring you because she's afraid of what you think of her, now that you've seen a really ugly part of her life that she can't control."

"But I haven't changed the way I think about her, I just want to be there for her." I sighed.

"No offence Cris, but I'm not the one you should be telling this to." He said with a supportive smile.

"Thanks Jamal." I smiled, feeling a lot better than before but now I knew I had to go see Haydn today.