It was our last study session before the test tomorrow and we had yet to talk about our almost kiss at her house, at least I hoped it was an almost kiss, we'd barely spoken- the closest was a text I got from her to ask to meet up today. We studied quietly in the library discussion room and since I'd been grasping more of the concepts we were actually studying separately and I was glad I wasn't completely lost- it meant I was getting better, but that also meant I didn't have an excuse to hang out with Haydn anymore.

Maybe that would be a good thing because I kept getting distracted by Haydn and how fucking beautiful she was. After our night together at her house I had become so aware of her whenever she was around me. I gently chewed on my pen as I found myself admiring the beautiful girl next to me, her straightened-black hair that seemed to go much lighter in the sun, the gentle slope of her nose, the curves of her lips and her expressive golden eyes- that were staring right at me.

"Sorry." I blushed. "I think I lost focused for a bit," I murmured but before I could turn back to my work she spoke up.

"Are you busy Saturday night?" She asked and even though I desperately wanted to say yes, I couldn't, and my face dropped.

"Yeah, I am, I've actually got plans with my friends," I said apologetically as my shoulders deflated and she smiled sadly. When I saw her disappointed expression, I cursed my friends and their need to go watch every heteronormative romantic comedy starring the same generic white boy.

"That's a bummer." She murmured before turning back to her textbook and I bit my lip, I couldn't help it- I had to ask.

"Why?" I asked as I tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear, and she gave me a small shrug.

"I was hoping to get you all to myself again, so we can celebrate all your hard work." She explained and I blushed. "But I should've known, fate isn't often in my side."

"But the test is only tomorrow, we don't even know if I've passed yet." I sighed and she rolled her eyes playfully.

"You're going to be fine." She promised with a crooked smile as she squeezed my forearm reassuringly but before I could even reply I saw her glance at her phone and swear under her breath. "I'll see you tomorrow before the test, good luck Cristina." She winked at me and by the time my heartbeat went back to normal she was already gone, and I had to go to our technique practice.

Technique practice was actually the brainchild of Logan and Blanca who thought that once every two weeks the cheer team and the dance team could practice together and work on techniques such as tucking, rolling, flexibility and choreography- it was a nice idea because we didn't have to work too hard, and we got to practice with more of our friends.

I walked to the football field outside after changing into my workout gear and as I stepped out, I was glad to see Blanca, Roxanne and Logan already stretching. I quickly jogged to them before one of the coaches saw me coming a few minutes late and as soon as I joined them, they started talking about how excited they were for the movie, which only ended up reminding me where I wouldn't be and who I wouldn't be with.

Thankfully, the practice and my friends were able to take my mind off things for a little while, but it didn't last as long as I wanted it too and far too soon, I found myself sitting on the bleachers with Blanca and Roxanne while Logan was fawned over for a few minutes by her followers. However, I wasn't hiding my anxiety as well as I thought and when Logan walked over and sat down next to Blanca on the bench above us, she didn't hesitate in asking.

"Alright, so what's up with you?" She asked me and I leaned back in shock.

"Me?!" I exclaimed and they all nodded.

"Yeah, Cris you've been acting weird lately and we're worried about you dude," Roxanne said and I sighed, I knew I should tell them the truth- it was getting too exhausting omitting information from them when they knew me so well.

"I'm just stressed about my biology test tomorrow, if I don't pass then I could be kicked out of the class." I sighed. "I know I've been studying with Haydn, but my anxiety has just been on an all-time high."

"Don't worry girl! You got this; we know you do." Blanca smiled at me. "I mean if I can pass then so can you cause I know for a fact you're studying more than me."

"Thanks, guys." I smiled, seconds before the dance coach called them to speak to them for a few minutes- that's when Logan turned to me.

"So, are you bummed yet?" She asked me as she wiggles her eyebrows and I frowned.

"It's a little early to be bummed Logan, I haven't even written the test yet," I replied a little confused and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm not talking about the stupid test Cris." She explained. "I'm talking about the fact that after you write this test, you're not going to see Haydn anymore." She pointed out and I felt my blood go cold, not because of Logan realizing that I like Haydn, but because I didn't realize that and the thought of not seeing her didn't sit well with me at all.

"Fuck." I whispered before Logan spoke again, bringing me out of my sad daze.

"Don't worry Cris, I won't tell anyone." She smiled and I frowned.

"Tell anyone what?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.

"About your crush on Haydn." She winked and I felt my mouth go dry, this just confirmed that I was the most obvious person in history- I couldn't hide anything to save my life.

"How did you find out?" I asked, biting my lip as she giggled. I didn't even try and deny it, hell if Logan caught on so quickly then other people must have too.

"It's obvious dude! Do you know how many times I've caught you looking at her in the halls, in class, in the cafeteria? Besides with all that time you guys spend together studying it didn't take long to figure out." She explained and I sighed, I was hopeless at being discrete. "Oh, and I also saw you two leave that party together the other night." She smirked and my head shot up to her as a blush crept onto my cheeks.

"Damn, is it that obvious?" I asked genuinely and she shook her head.

"Not to someone who doesn't know you like I do." She reassured me before smiling gently. "But don't worry Cris, I'm not going to tell anyone, I know how sensitive you can be to other people's opinions and if you are as serious about her as you look then I rather you figure this out on your own, on your own terms and in your own time." She said and I sighed in relief, I knew Logan wouldn't have said anything but the anxiety that she wouldn't approve of Haydn left my body completely- making things a lot clearer for me. "Oh, and Haydn is hot, and she seems sweet, so I approve, I think you made the right choice." She said and I laughed before I remembered Saturday.

"Well, she actually asked me to hang out on Saturday night, so we could celebrate our hard work in biology, but I can't go." I vented with a sad smile just before Roxanne and Blanca came back and sat down, but it was then, did I realize that these girls were my best friends- I didn't have anything to hide from them and I don't know why I thought I did.

"So, is everyone still on for Saturday night?" Roxanne asked as they took their seats and I sighed as I bit my lip.

"Guys I have something to tell you," I confessed and watched as Blanca's eyebrow shot up in worry.

"Oh my god girl, you're not pregnant with Wesley's devil child, are you?" She asked seriously and I almost choked.

"What?! Ew, no!" I exclaimed as shivers of disgust ran down my spine.

"Hallelujah." Roxanne sighed as she closed her eyes in relief and I chose to ignore the fact that my friends thought that I was pregnant to address a more important matter.

"It's about a girl." I sighed as Haydn's face flashed in my mind and I couldn't help but smile, especially when I saw Blanca's shocked expression.

"A girl?!" She grinned. "You haven't dated a girl ever since Maisie Davids broke your heart and moved away and that was when you were like sixteen." She said and I shrugged shyly.

"Well, things with this girl are different." I smiled. "More different than anything I've ever felt before," I said at the risk of sounding corny.

"Really?! Who?!" Roxanne asked and I grinned.

"It's Haydn actually," I said, and she and Blanca smiled.

"The girl who tutors you? How did I not see that coming?" Roxanne laughed and I shrugged.

"Come on girl! We want details." Blanca grinned as she shook me, and I blushed.

For the next twenty minutes I told them all about Haydn, about how we met, how beautiful and sweet she is, the butterflies I got when she looked at me and it felt so good to be able to get things off my chest because I felt like I was going crazy for a second.

"So, from what I'm hearing, you like her a lot?" Logan asked carefully and I nodded before they all grinned.

"Oh my god, Cristina we are so happy for you!" Blanca beamed as she hugged me, and I couldn't help but a smile a little.

"Haydn also asked her to hang out Saturday night and she said no because of that stupid movie we want to go watch," Logan added and just like that Roxanne's and Blanca's fell.

"Cris are you crazy or what? It's a movie, you better text this girl before I do it for you." Roxanne warned and I rolled my eyes.

"But only text her when you're at home, so you don't look too desperate," Blanca added quickly and I smiled, if I was being honest, I wouldn't mind looking a little desperate if it was for Haydn.

"Besides, we can always just go to the mall on Sunday?" Logan suggested and Roxanne nodded in agreement.

"Duh we're going to the mall on Sunday, I want to know what happens on their date," Blanca stated and I sighed.

"It's not a date, she asked if we could hang out." I clarified and Blanca brushed me off.

"To-may-to, to-mah-to." She muttered and we laughed before agreeing to meet up at my house before the mall on Sunday afternoon. We soon parted ways because it was getting a little late and if we weren't home soon our parents would worry and I grinned at the relief I felt in the whole situation.

As I walked back to my car, I couldn't help but think about my friends, they reacted a lot better than I thought they would. It was their reaction that made me realize that my worries about people saying shit and rejecting me or Haydn because of stupid, societal bullshit probably came from my anxiety and fear of people's opinions.

It wasn't easy growing up as a foreign mixed kid in this country, and to make matters worse I came out as bisexual when I was 12. In middle school no one liked me or my parents, kids always made fun of the "weird" lunches my mom made me for school and they constantly made fun of my dad's accent when he would come pick me up and I hated it. It was the reason I was such an anxious person, worried about what people would say because I didn't want to become a target again, I didn't want to be that scared kid in middle school who was afraid of being herself.

But the thought of being with Haydn made me not even care and the feelings she evoked in me whenever she was near were too intense to ignore- I had to see where things would go with her, no matter what the cost.