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And as if love is madness, may I never find sanity again.

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-Chapter 29-- These unknown feelings.

Tonight hasn't gone as it was planned out to go... Tonight was the night to lose some tension that has been building up in me for the past four days

The seething thirst that has consumed me from the inside out has yet to be quenched.

For some reason, it has become uncomfortable to sleep in my own bed or anywhere without having my toy next to me. It just doesn't feel right…and it is quite funny that I'm feeling this way over her.

That's the only reason I even came to this damn party in the first place was to wash away this weird feeling that has been nudging me from the back of my mind whenever I'm in a quiet place without her. Fuck… If I knew this was going to be the outcome of tonight, I would have gone to the strip club instead, and have a few drinks as my mind flooded itself with images of her bare body that I almost devoured that day in the steamy bathroom.

It pains me that I couldn't take a little taste.

4:10 am flashed red on my dark dashboard as silence engulfed the small space. The only thing that could be heard was my right thumb tapping on the leather steering wheel in boredom to not lose focus on the road.

Surprisingly the idiot next to me hasn't altered a single word since we entered this vehicle.

Damn, how much did this fool inhale tonight?

Did he surpass himself, again?

Whenever my brother is in this kind of drugged-up state… He would express himself more than usual about the dark thoughts that run rampant inside his head that he likes to keep to himself when he doesn't want to show weakness.

Oddly, Today he was more conscious of his actions and words. He wasn't allowing any secrets to slip out of his lips. It seemed as if he's in his own tiny world as he stared out the window with an amused hazed gaze and a small grin plastered on his face.

Throughout this quiet ride, I have noticed little things that he does when he thinks I'm not secretly observing him.

Once in a while, he would silently chuckle to himself like a complete fool that listened to a ridiculous joke on the radio, to just go completely expressionless the next second.

How far gone is this guy today? Maybe it was better to stay in the party and let whatever he took to clear out his vain and his fogged-up senses.

What's going through my twin brother's mind, right now, that has him grinning like a complete clown next to me, again?

It sparked a glint of curiosity in my chest.

Was the joint too strong for him this time?

Did he smoke something else that I'm not aware of?

Or did my brother proceed to excessively drink too much and on top of that get high out of his right senses?

Nah… It doesn't seem like he drank too much alcohol today. He'll turn aggressive if he surpasses his limit with his two favorite medications in the world.

Curiosity aroused in me when he kept smiling widely like an idiot who took out one of his wisdom teeth and was under some weird form of Anastasia.

"What got you in a good mood tonight, brother?" My gaze refocuses on the dark deserted street as my ears patiently wait for the response to come out of his lips... That would finally annihilate my small curiosity that is beginning to grow once and for all.

Did he find a new toy to play with and he hasn't told me yet? I would be very delighted if he did find himself one. Then we won't have to share mine.

"I don't think you're going to like my response to your question, Kev. It's better to not know, trust me. You will be upset if I do give you an answer. "Leo lets out as a frown emerges on my face... Which in return made him burst out in a laughing fit at my reaction to his words.

What does he mean by I wouldn't like his response to my question? How bad could it be?

Why would I be upset, anyway? Now my undying curiosity grew rapidly the more he hindered on his answer. My right thumb hit the steering wheel this time with annoyance.

"It won't... Just spit it out, already." I was growing impatient with his lack of words.

"Are you sure? Brother. " A tinge of amusement and skepticism peeked through his voice. His dark eyes were studying me like if he was closely studying my body language to detect if I'm lying through my teeth.

Don't tell me he took my bottle of dark whisky that was in my closet inside the black small box. Damn it... I need to find a new place to hide my important medications.

"I'm sure. It can't be that bad..."How bad could it be? I could always buy another bottle of whiskey or just take one of Richard's collections that he has in the attic.

Yes, Richard instead of obsessing over luxury cars or sports, in general, he obsesses over collecting wine bottles and anything to do with it. Ironic isn't it... because his loving daughter is scared of anyone that drinks too much.

Emma doesn't know that he has such collections yet. A mental picture of her expression when she realizes her father is fond of alcohol is displayed in my mind clearly.

"Okay… Don't say that I didn't warn you.

"Emma has been on my mind lately." He stops for a brief moment contemplating if he should let what he is planning to say out or… Just keep it to himself and let my curiosity burn me whole until there's nothing left to save.

"I want to make her mine. Probably, even marry her and have some kids. Maybe, two or three..." When Leo spewed out those words my foot stepped on the brake pedal so fast that it made the vehicle screech to a halt in the middle of the dark deserted street as my eyes drifted towards my twin brother... whose dark eyes twinkle with amusement under the dim dome light that illuminates the interior of the vehicle.

"What!!!" That word came out harsher than I intended it to be. Maybe I heard that wrong, and I'm overreacting like a fool. He must be joking...

But his dark amused stare just declared to me that my ears did not pick those words up wrong. That what I heard was correct and not a fraction of my imagination.

An unpleasant emotion ignited in me, causing this horrible feeling to bubble up inside my chest and spread throughout my entire body like a forest fire consuming everything in its wake.

Not even the nice cold breeze seeping through the slightly opened window next to me could calm down the heat that is eating at my nerves.

He laughed it off, and I felt compelled to punch him in the face if he didn't stop laughing like a fucking idiot. It wasn't funny to joke like that.

"Told you, you wouldn't like it… Brother."He's definitely just saying that to mess with me, again. He couldn't possibly be serious about that… There's no way this idiot has fallen in love with the toy. He is probably confused, right now… The confusion will clear up when he becomes sober again.

Yeah… He'll fix up when he becomes sober, again.

Not wasting any more time on his stupid joke, I begin to drive without questioning him any further on his thoughts or feelings.

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We got home last night safely. Luckily, Richard and Nancy weren't up to see Leo's drugged-up state. Throughout the whole ride back home he got worse on the topic of Emma. Saying things that got me wanting to throw him out of the moving vehicle and never look back.

His stupid words kept me up all night, playing in my head like a bad lullaby. No matter how many minutes went by, sleep wouldn't come to me at all. Just the endless possibilities that he is not joking around with me pisses me off.

A sigh passed my lips as my tired eyes stayed pinned at my dark smooth ceiling just overanalyzing his stupid words from last night. He is not supposed to fall for her... Maybe he was pushing my buttons for entertainment purposes like I have been doing to him for the past few days with that same purpose in mind.

My attention goes to the bedroom door when a few hard knocks resonate from the door, then my attention sways to the connected bathroom when I hear the shower turn on.

The temptation to just go inside there secretly, and silently watch her take a shower was strong. She always forgets to lock the door when she's half asleep.

Yet the last thing I want from her is to have one of her panic attacks if she catches me inside there staring at her while I contemplate on going through with my plan to destroy her and mold her into what I want or just leave it for another day.

Surprisingly, In a week or two from now, she is starting school. Richard decided to put her in an all-girl school. Wanting her to not stray her focus to guys who are currently going to pursue her. And being as naive as she is she'll let herself be played. Just imagining her being wooed by a guy was ticking me off.

But, good thing that won't ever happen.

It would be better for me if she attended an all-girls school. I don't have to worry about getting rid of any idiots that dare touch what is mine.

Now thinking about it well… How could I forget that girls could also start pursuing her too… shit.

When the water drops hitting the tile floor stopped, I knew she was done with her morning routine.

A buzz and a little ring make my focus go to my phone that was currently charging right now on the nightstand.

It's too early in the morning for this shit. I take my phone off the charger and check out the messages that keep popping up on my lit-up screen.

Videos from what occurred yesterday at the party flooded my messages with stupid comments attached to them. Don't these dumb asses have anything better to do than bother me with this shit?

Today is going to be a long day. I should just skip school.

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Please leave a comment, I would love to know what you guys think of this chapter. It would keep me more motivated.