《Sh*t My Parents Say》149 》Mom and Dad
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I had received a letter in the mail from some government branch and I was having difficulties opening the damn thing.
"What are you doing to that envelope?" Mom asked of my horrible letter opening skills.
"I never get mail! I don't know how to open these things without ripping them."
"You know you're an adult soon, right? You're gonna be getting more of those."
Later, I was going to make soup in attempt to soothe my sore throat. I had a blonde moment and temporarily forgot how to use a can opener. Don't mock me.
"Are you fucking serious right now?" Dad asked, laughing. "You know you're going to be an adult soon, right?"
"Yes, I do. I'm reminded every couple hours." I opened the can, and put the chicken noodle contents in a pot. Then I turned to Dad and said, "K, what now?"
He shook his head and said, "What do the instructions say?"
"Heat and serve. What is heat? What temperature is that?"
"Jesus," Dad muttered, shaking his head as he walked away.
Keep in mind that I turn 18 in four weeks and actually have no idea how to fend for myself. I would die without my parents.
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