《Sh*t My Parents Say》143 》Sh*t My Friends Say

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^^ actual group chat conversations with these people

I didn't mean to rain on your parade. Here, have a metaphorical umbrella.

I think I could be a janitor.

Do you ever cook?

That sounds like a butt load of effort.

OH YA? Say it to my face punk!

I made ze ultimate chai tea latte.

I don't like David's Tea...

KC, what did David ever do to you?

My arm looks like a worm. *shows the group chat a picture of elastics down her arm to make it look like a worm*

I'm eating egg salad.

KC THIS IS THE THING WE BONDED OVER THIS IS THE ROOT OF OUR FRIENDSHIP

Chill man I only deleted the game

Guys... serious question... do you think it would hurt to get your vagina pierced?

Don't quickly point at something on a dirty sidewalk. You make me think it's shit.

Dude, I think I know where my boob is.

Guys, we should start a massage company, where if you're on your period, you get your back rubbed.

You know what we should make? Pillows, so I can sleep.

I think I farted, but I don't remember doing it. Like, I smell it, but I don't remember doing it.

My nose is bleeding. Not gonna say how it happened. But it's wierd.

I'm not even half way through the period and I'm already going to die of boredom.

Rhi, you talk about going to the gym and getting a membership, then you buy a large pizza the same day?

I FRICKEN DID IT I MADE FLUFFY RICE!

Guys, it's that time of day. It's fuck-this-shit o'clock.

I can only be spontaneously funny.

I'm eating spinach. How healthy am I?

I'm reading your lovey dovey feelings messages while listening to pretty Icelandic music and they really go together.

I wanna bleach my tummy hair.

I just feel like chilling with Friends tonight. The show, not people.

I'm gonna kill you... with a knife... six knives... and a gun... five guns... and a sword.

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