《Sh*t My Parents Say》131 》Mom
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"Your dad said that he'd even be willing to go to the theatre to see Deadpool," Mom said.
Dad has not been to the movie theaters in over 15 years. So this came as a shock to me.
"But me and Little Sister were planning on going to that. You two can't come too."
"I wouldn't mind going to see it. Maybe you two can go, then Dad and I can go in after you."
I went to speak, but then she cut me off.
"No, Dad and I can go at the same time as you and we'll sit a few rows up to throw popcorn at you."
She laughed and my jaw dropped.
"No," she said, "we'll throw jellybeans. Those will hurt when they hit your heads." She laughed even harder.
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- In Serial135 Chapters
Immovable Mage
What do you call a mage incapable of casting spells? In this story, we usually call him Terry. When the boy is accepted into Arcana Academy, his talent in the pillars of mana foundation awes everyone. All the bigger is the eventual disappointment when Terry turns out to be an utter failure at spellwork. Diagnosis? Major aspect impairment. No cure. Ever. Faced with expulsion, Terry is blessed with the unexpected kindness of others. Terry loses his spot in the Academy but in exchange, he finds a home with a family. Terry starts to train as a pure mana cultivator but never stops looking for his own path as a mage – day after day, season after season, always searching for compatible spellwork… Until finally, Terry’s perseverance earns him a single spell – the only spell he will ever be able to cast. Disclaimers: Chapter Frequency: I aim for one chapter a week. Chapter Length: I try to keep chapters between 3000 and 6000 words. Binge Preference: I plan for 30 chapters per arc. If you want to binge a complete arc, then that is the number to wait for. I will also add a line to chapters indicating the beginning and end of an arc. Advanced Access: I have created a patreon page with early access to four chapters for patrons. What to Expect: Progression fantasy with a western fantasy setting and with eastern fantasy elements. A main character that is forced to explore a very narrow path of magic due to a permanent condition. A main character that is a part of a larger cast. A main character that is growing but won't become the strongest around anytime soon. A story following a single main character but with introduction or theme setting scenes without the main character. What Not to Expect: Edgy grimdark characters – I will never write a sexual violence scene or gory descriptions of torture. I hate reading it and I would hate writing it even more. Romance – romantic relationships will never be the focus of the story and only appear in the background. The main character is preoccupied with other stuff. Other forms of relationships (family, friends, companions) play a bigger role. Cover: The cover art was commisioned from redditor Linh-Nguyen87. The font is alita brush by Inovatype Typefoundry. Overview: 001–030 Arc 1, Cultivating Perseverance: complete. 031–060 Arc 2, Undying Defiance: complete. 061–090 Arc 3, Unyielding Fury: scheduled for publishing. 091–120 Arc 4, Savage Hope: scheduled for publishing. 121–150 Arc 5, Self-Made Fate: first draft in progress. 151–180 Arc 6, Heretic Style: sketching in progress. Further Arcs are still in the sketching and idea collection phase.
8 234 - In Serial204 Chapters
Summoned and Unwanted
Continue reading here: https://www.webnovel.com/book/summoned-and-unwanted_17037711905226605 _________________________________ At a young age, Vincent lost his parents to an unknown widespread mutation infection. He survived but got mutated as well. In the end, he blamed himself for their deaths as he was the one who insisted to go. Years later, Vincent met with an infection survivor named Kevin who helped him heal his heart. However, not all stories have a happy ending. Kevin would pass away ten years later, leaving a mysterious book with six heroic tales. As Vincent finished reading the book, it teleported him to another world. A world of magic and sword.A world where heroes are referred to invaders by the people of the land, where summoned heroes are unwanted, hated, and hunted. Vincent would gain a unique hero class, yet his mutation develops a class as well. He would become the first being with two classes in the world. This is the journey were Vincent starts from a zero to a hero. From a single young teen to a harem lord, from a nobody to an important person to many. A god, a king, a miracle worker, a husband, a lover, a hero... Well, these are the few titles he will gain as he will live his new life, his new beginning. This is the story of how the seventh unwanted hero tries to do his best while learning from every experience he encounters. To go back to his world?To protect his new loved ones?To find the mystery of the book?Or to create a haven where he and his loved ones can live in peace? Those questions are for the readers of the book of heroes to find out._________________________________ Chapter words 1,800+ (1-182)Chapter words 1,600+ (183+)_________________________________ Support Author https://paypal.me/SummonedAndUnwanted ________________________________ Discord https://discord.gg/CSg5Baf ________________________________
8 194 - In Serial98 Chapters
Anarcho: A Cyberpunk Fantasy
Below you can find blurbs for each arc in Anaracho. Fracture Rating (Anarcho, #1) Theeeey’ve done it again! Max and Staxx have just hit the Tower Plaaaza just minutes ago, breaking CEO Tanaka Koji’s safe and baling with what’s estimated to be at least two point three biiiiillion in cash—not to mention the prrrriceless personal relics worth at least a second veritable fortune on the blaaack maarkeeet! Hooowwww do we know it was theeem? They left us clues! “Take it to the max” and “Staxx of cash” left behind, written atop a priceless Remvira painting in lipstiiiick from Koji’s bathroooom no doubt! “I don’t know…” Tanaka says as he scratches his head in evident disbelief while he nurses a broken lip. “One moment I was looking over the quarterly reports and then next thing I know I’m—I’m face down—eating tile and forced by two men at knife and gunpoint to open my safe!” It’s quiiiite a shocker for us over here, too! In case you don’t know, Tanaka Koji is the billionair heir and infamous playboy of the Tanaka Dynastyyy. They say his family’s worth at least four-hundred biiiillioooon and theyyy donnn’t skimp on SEEEECUUURITYYY! Soooo….. what does daad think about allll this? “I want them stopped!” Tanaka senior comments as he shakes a fist. “I am putting up a five-hundred million dollar reward for anyone who supplies information leading to the capture or death of those two thugs!” Weeell, there you have it, folks! Straight from the uuunicorn’s mouth! Again! that’s a whopping five-hundred million dollar reward for any tips that lead to the capture or death of those pesky thieves, Maaax and Staaaaxx! Any tips of information can be sent via public or in-home holo net devices by going to the page displayed—and don’t forget to— Staxx shut off the holo screen. “May called. She wants us to do another job. Tonight.” “You know we can’t. We got another one of our high and mighty overlords to visit at his luxury penthouse.” “That’s what I told her, too.” “Then stop yapping and let’s kick some ass!” “You know, Max, for such a small guy, you’re really intense. Don’t you wanna have some fun?” “Oh… we’re gonna have some fun, Staxx. We’re gonna have some fun...” * * * Hussy (Anarcho, #2) Max and Staxx board the ultrafine space cruiser Chylaxium in an effort to kidnap Kelly Hess, the daughter of the rich—but not a douche—Hess, who wants his daughter returned to him after she ran off with Laiwyn Scorr, a known smuggler and murderer whose evidently using her for her magical abilities to get to her father. Unfortunately it remains to be seen whether the little hussy will come easily. “Max, are you sure about this one?” “You know it’s a favor to May, after what she had to pull to get us outta that Yates thing.” “I know, but… just because you like her doesn’t mean we have to say ‘yes.’” “Come on, Staxx, it’ll be fun.” “Do we get to shoot stuff?” “Definitely!” “What happened to us robbing banks on the six o’clock news?” “Don’t worry—we’ll get to that after we do this thing real quick.” “All right, I’m down.” “Sweet.” * The Landfill Lich (Anarcho, #3) With independent, though highly discredited, news sources siting a dangerous creature killing people on the edges of Life City, Max and Staxx—in their boredom, decide to take up the investigation. They quickly discover that they may be in way over their heads, and that the source of this “terrible monster” or whatever, is in fact due to the carelessness of a mega corp—of course—and headed by—you guessed it—the mages. “Man, I’m so bored! Sure this thing’s even real?” “The bodies are real.” “If the overlords are responsible for whatever’s goin’ on, then somebody’s getting tossed out another window.” “That’s what you always say.” “’Cause it’s the truth, Staxx” “Well let’s check it out and see what we find.” “Takin’ guns.” “Hells yes, Max.” * Rescue Operation (Anarcho, #4) After taking out a Strogaus science mage and the monster he had created, Max and Staxx attempt to contact May—their ally and handler. But for the first time ever, a different person answers their call, indicating an irregularity that bodes ill for not only May, but for them all. “Damn! I wanted to meet May, but…” “Not like this?” “Do you think she’s still alive?” “One way to find out, Max.” “Listen, if this has something to do with Strogaus and that science mage we fed to his own monster, we’re puttin’ these guys in the ground, Staxx.” “Then let’s lock and load.” * Dreams of Forever (Anarcho #5) Max, Staxx and May—three Anarchos—set out to find Lexa a body so that she too can fully become part of the team. But what begins as an innocent shopping trip, soon turns into a storm of bullets after the team realizes what Invera-Tech is really up to. “No way can we let this stand, guys.” “Not like we can’t end the overlord’s dreams of forever with a few bullets.” “Then let’s drop some hot lead on these wannabe gods.” “Hells yes!” “But what about my body?” “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, Lexa.” “Oh—okay!” “Now let’s tear shit up!”
8 219 - In Serial56 Chapters
HEfTY
What if everyone in the world gave you $1? That’s what Hefty, a fat and cocky 14-year-old computer hacker tries to do. He bets on Bitcoin, and becomes a millionaire. Nevertheless, it’s short lived because Hefty is under the beck and call of his BPD mom. Hefty’s mom has leukemia. After seeing his mom’s hospital bill, he goes full tilt on the internet, selling crazy things on the Dark Web, like drones, drugs, and guns. And under his nose, someone’s been watching Hefty. Before he knows it, he’s abducted by ISIS and transported to Syria. ISIS’s chief tech officer was blown apart in an airstrike. All of ISIS’s money freshly minted into Cryptocurrencies. The passcodes in his mind blew up with the airstrike. The King of ISIS, forces Hefty to find the passcodes. At gunpoint, Hefty can’t say no, but tricks the King. The King makes a deal with him: If Hefty gets the money off the server, he gets to keep his life (and 10%). Hefty agrees and sees the amount from his 10%: $1.1 Billion in BTC. Drunk with money, Hefty joins the King and naively agrees to help ISIS, and starts buying everything he’s always wanted. He still misses home though, and after a google search brings up his mom, he throws bread crumbs through the internet. He creates digital trails throughout the back end of sites he hacks so people can find him. Even though his lifestyle is fun and exciting, ISIS starts to look less inspiring. Hefty sees the cruelty of ISIS’s cause and it disillusions him from thinking the Caliphate is noble. After some ISIS friends start dying, Hefty sees that war is dumb. Hefty tells his dying friend, on his last breaths, that he is going to take down ISIS. Mistake. With his last yells, his friend tattles on Hefty. Overnight, he goes from Multimillionaire to POW. The King gives him 2 options: blow up his favorite team on a game day of the Cleveland Browns, or his mother dies. Hefty chooses his mother. Within weeks, Hefty covertly writes software to defeat ISIS, leaving enough breadcrumbs to attract the Chief of Staff of the U.S. Army, General Tarvish. Acting quickly, General Tarvish works to find Hefty and uncover the Brown’s Stadium plot. Hefty finds a way to bomb the stadium, using an order that the president enacted putting all combat planes: no matter where over the US, had to be fully loaded and ready for war. Tarvish didn’t plan this into his counter measure. Hefty has set up ambushes against the Caliphate of ISIS… but the joke turns on him when he forgets to delete his code, and his terror attack on Brown’s Stadium goes off. Hefty’s location goes live, and an air campaign against the Caliphate starts. The US President angrily tries to drop a nuclear bomb on Hefty and the Caliphate. Tarvish kills the President before he can order the attack. The King flees by truck into the desert, but brings his cyber weapon: Hefty. Fed up, unafraid, and frankly pissed off, Hefty grows some balls and kills everyone in the car, giving the King his just reward, and careening down a mountain in the process.
8 339 - In Serial147 Chapters
Villain Tries Farming: A LitRPG Adventure
Our newly appointed Villain dreads the sight of blood and is prone to fainting. When he counts the number of his minions dying from the attacks of the sleazy players, he feels like someone is driving a nail into his heart.Peace is what he seeks. As such he must become skilled at agriculture to sustain the monster clans that he rules. But will he succeed?(if you wish to read this book in one go you can check it out on Amazon HERE)
8 292 - In Serial40 Chapters
Seasons (Taekook)
Kim Taehyung, a male Omega, is left by his fiance Two hours before their wedding. 💜"What do you mean love, did you forget that today is our wedding?". "No I didn't forget, but Taehyung I will not be coming. I don't want to marry you".The Omega almost fell but Jennie was there to hold him. "Babe what is wrong, what are you saying?", the Omega's voice was breaking. " I am saying that I am not marrying you Taehyung. Honestly speaking, if I marry you, you will never satisfy me fully"."You dress like it's winter, avoiding to show some skin now and then; and you are always wearing baggy clothes that are not even attractive"."I can change that love, I can dress the way you want me to", the Omega was now crying his heart out. "Oh Taehyung, you think that is the only problem. You are unemployed and you want to be a stay-at-home father. In this century who still do that". "Hoseok I can find a job, remember I have a law degree, I can try something and find a job", he was crying wishing the alpha can hear him. "Who is going to hire you, a male Omega on top of that. You think that is the only issue, the worst thing is that you are horrible in bed. You act like a chicken when we have sex and I'm tired of that. I want to enjoy sex Taehyung and you make sex become a burden to me". #Angst #Werewolf#Omegaverse#Maybe Slow burnRankings #1 minjoon#4 kookv#1 Omegaverse#1 lgbt#1 alphakook#3 Taehyung#1 Vkook#1 Bottomtae#1 Jungkook#1 Taekook#2 Topkook#5 fanfiction
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