《Sh*t My Parents Say》125 》Mom
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Mom and I saw a commercial where they were selling shoes for $39.95, and they were announcing like it was a good deal.
"Forty bucks is still a lot of money for shoes," I said. "Shoes should be ten dollars. Five dollars a shoe." Then I came up with a shitty pun, saying, "Five dollar foot long. Ha! I'm funny."
"But your foot is not 12 inches," Mom contradicted me.
"But it is the length of a foot, therefore it is a foot long. Five dollar foot long. Ha! I'm funny."
"Yeah, not really."
...I thought I was pretty punny.
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Complete Martial Arts Attributes
The dimensional rifts link the earth to the Xingwu continent. This is the dawn of the martial arts era!I will be useless if I don’t practice martial arts? Don’t worry, I have a system that allows me to pick up attributes. When other people drop attributes during their training, I can pick them up secretly.Huh? Did you just say that beating up people will make them drop attributes too? In that case…You defeated a sword skill genius. He dropped Enlightenment×2, Sword Talent×1… You’ve picked them up. Your insights have improved and you’ve gained a beginner stage sword talent!You defeated a blade skill talent. He dropped Blade Battle Technique×1, Malicious Blade Intent×1… You picked them up and learned a rare blade battle technique! You’ve also figured out Malicious Blade Intent and have become extremely fierce!You defeated a physique talent. He dropped Physique Scripture×1, Holy-Blood Dominant Physique×1…You picked them up and learned a new top-grade scripture! You are exceptionally lucky to have received the Holy-Blood Dominant Physique. It can change your physique completely and you earned a god-level title 'Endless Health'.Someone killed a powerful star beast and dropped Spiritual Sight×1 and Blank Attribute×60… You picked them up secretly and receive a spiritual eye talent as well as 60 points to add to any of your current attributes!You defeat many opponents in your life. You accidentally kill an innocent devil and split the universe into two when you’re practicing your blade at home. You burst the sun with your fist and the world is engulfed in darkness…That’s when you realize… You’re invincible!
8 747 - In Serial21 Chapters
Welcome to the Upward Bound System, V.2
Technically abandoned. I will be reposting an updated version of the story one chapter at a time. When the System came to Earth, it changed everything. It is a grand thing used by gods and men alike. What had once been fantasy was now a reality. People believed and so that belief gave ideas the strength to manifest. "Welcome Founder of the SCP Foundation" It stirred the gods from their deathly slumbers. Stirred by an almost mechanical voice promising them new life, and followers as countless as the stars. All it asked of them was for their help. Help with what though? The old gods, the forgotten gods, and the new gods drew breath, and then made their voices heard. On a day like any other Dante was home from college watching the Presidential inauguration with his parents. Little did they know that this day would turn out to be anything but ordinary. That this was the day everything changed. Dante is not your typical MC. While he has a troubled past, he looks forward to the future. Follow Dante, his parents, and the new friends he meets along the way as they traverse this new system world. However, before they can explore this new world they must complete, the Tutorial. (Please note: This tutorial will be part of the story. Rather than a skim of the information, you will get to experience it in depth. So the tutorial will last a good while.) A much slower style of LitRpg than what you would normally find. Follow Dante and his party as they find their world taken over by the system. Welcome people of Earth to the Upward Bound System!... With the system's arrival so too does great danger come... The tools of your survival shall be granted upon you by the system... Please note, I don't own the art. Please enjoy the story, and if you don't please leave a comment and I will try to improve the story for you. This is the second version of this story, so feel free to check out the original and compare the two.
8 230 - In Serial8 Chapters
The Last Breath
When Yezzu first sent his sons to the realm of men, they brought with them the magic of the gods. They created the three kingdoms we now have today being Dremshen, Ex'ol, and Kantillion. In the five thousand years since the gods left, much has changed. Great wars were fought, Universities were built, civilizations were created. One thing remained after the gods' departure though, their powers. Today, the balance of crafting the three gods brought has shifted. In the beginning, each had the same skill as the other, but the magic that was passed down through the millennia has diminished. The struggle for power that started long ago is coming to a defining moment. Plots of war and assassination are being weaved. Don't despair, for we may yet be saved from the disasters to come. Our hope lies in three young crafters. The first is William Divus, who sets out from his small village into the Dremshen Kingdom to study crafting after his father's passing. His questions about his father and his quest for knowledge drive him. Next comes Ehzahn Obasi, an Ex'olian thief with unparalleled skill. He steals for the thrill, no longer needing the rewards that come with it. He has just achieved his lifelong dream, but he will soon learn how much he underestimated the fallout from his daring theft. The last is Ki Soru, the niece of a powerful duke. She showed promise with crafting at a young age, so she had the best training the Kantillion Kingdom had to offer. Ten years have passed since her lessons began, leaving the king unsatisfied with the results. Her life is upended when her new teacher arrives, revealing a secret kept from her that changes her whole life. These three are our heroes. They were born in separate kingdoms under vastly differing upbringing, but each with their own part to play in the challenges to come. Here begins our tale of mischief and misery with only but a sliver of hope.
8 133 - In Serial16 Chapters
Starships
Edit: Started to do some editing, so chapters are being reposted. No more Raws. >Currently Edited to Ch.5 - 1/7/22 From spaceships with AIs, to magical space ships with spirits. Follow our guy Rex as he deals with life throwing one thing after another at the old guy. Goblin pirates in space? Ships turning into castles? Aliens are really fantasy like beings? Does he ever get a moment to rest? Not giving up and moving forward with what you got. A Scifi Fantasy mash up. >Posting minimum two chapters a week, better scheduling will happen with time.
8 157 - In Serial25 Chapters
Seducing the Ladies Around Me
Jia Chin's soul traveled to the World of Sword and Magic and occupied the body of a dying young man. He unknowingly entered a world filled of monsters, demons and adventurers. The danger to his life was everywhere. He awakened the 'FtH' system, and signed in every day to get rewards. He thought he would soon become an invincible being relying on system while enjoying his easy life, but fate wouldn't allow it, as one after another problems started to appear disturbing his perverted life. --------------------------------------------------- Alternate Version Link -> HERE!
8 289 - In Serial7 Chapters
Demon Driven
A variety of people have a variety of reactions to this exact conundrum. Some scream and cry about how hellish it is, some balk with madness, raging to get sent back to their worlds, some spew arrogant trash about how they’re going to be heroes and rule the world or such. Me? I took it with a smile. I’ll show you why. Marvel Self-insert/reincarnation fic
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