Featuring their old married couple fights...

"Where are the chips?" Mom asks. I shrug in response. Mom goes to the bathroom where Dad is showering and asks, "Where are the chips?"

"Don't touch them! They're mine!" He says from behind the curtain.

Mom runs to the bedroom and gets them, coming back with a sneaky smile on her face.

"Hey!" Dad shouts over the water. "I haven't had any yet."

"I just want a small bowl, then I'll give them back," she says innocently.

"Small bowl?" He mocks.

"Yes, a small bowl. Keep that up and I'll take the whole damn bag and give you a small bowl."

I sit on the living room couch, listening to the two of them fight like they're next to each other, when she's actually in the kitchen and he's in the shower.

"Trying to get mouthy with me?" she mutters to herself. "I'll take you out, little man!" she shouts through the wall.