--I literally give zero shits.

--*sigh* Just kill yourself, you'll be fine. Yourself

--Floating armpits.

--Earballs.

--Do you want bread on your bread?

--How do you survive in life being as miserable as you?

--I will grab your boob.

--Eh, no, kiel-bas-a.

--I hope it's not fat, I hope it's a tumor.

--Shit, is someone here? Where are my pants?!

--It's five o'clock. Does that mean we can drink now, because it's five o'clock somewhere? Somewhere being here.

--Give it! I need to spit on it!

--Dude, touch it.

--Alright, Kid, Mom and Dad are gone and I'm in charge.

--You flappin' jackass!

--Dude, look at my boobs.

--You know that hard piece you bit when you grabbed the food? Yea, that was my finger!

--Did you have another man in here, Dad?

--If I hurry, I can get hit by that train.

--I have muscle hair.

--Would you stop sighing so loudly? I'm not going to ask you what's wrong.

--I have leg-itis. I didn't want to tell you this way, but you've forced my hand.