_______________________________

I don't need a hero,

In fact, I never asked for one

I just want you to be safe,

For you to be happy

I never asked you to kill for me,

You need to stop yourself from going down this route

Because once you fall, you can never get back up

Don't try to save me,

I can fend for myself

If you keep giving and giving,

There won't be much of you left

_______________________________

Strong arms are wrapped around me, keeping me warm and close as I wake up. As the fuzziness leaves my eyes, I look up to see Ethan's stubbly face and sigh, burying my face back into his chest.

His even breathing alerts me that he's safe and calms me down a bit, but I don't miss the expressions of struggle and uncertainty that paint his face just before he pulls me closer.

Ethan groans and pets my head. "Hey, Charlie."

"Hey. How are you feeling?" I ask, spreading my hand against his bare chest to feel his heartbeat.

"Hurts, but I'm okay."

"Want some medicine?" I ask, looking up into his eyes.

"Yeah, that'd be great." He smiles.

"You'll have to let go of me then." I smirk.

"Ughhhh, fine." He removes his arm. "You're coming right back though."

I scoff, but do just that, handing him water and the medicine. "Do you plan on just holding me all day? Is that like some sort of physical therapy for you?"

"Yes. I love touching." He pulls me closer.

"I've noticed." I grin and kiss him.

He kisses me back and fondles my ass.

"I don't think you're in the best physical condition to be trying to fuck" I chuckle, but don't make any effort to remove his hands.

"I guess. I can still use my mouth though, if you want." He smirks.

"You're too much." Shaking my head, I wrap my arms around him. "If you want to have sex, we can have sex."

"I don't want to just use you." He rolls his eyes. "I'm just offering, if you want. I have to pay you back at some point."

"I don't mind if you use me." I bite my lip.

"No," He shakes his head and moves his hands back to my back. "I'm too docile for that right now."

"Softie."

"I'll fuck you up when I'm healed." He promises.

"I can't wait." I press my lips to his warm skin and close my eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asks, rubbing my back soothingly.

"A little shaken up. I also feel like something bad is going to happen, I just don't know when or what." I confess.

"I shouldn't have put you in that situation." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but I promise I'll keep you safe."

"I don't need you to keep me safe, Ethan. I'm a big boy." I bury myself more into him. "I've been taking care of myself for eighteen years. I've been gay for eighteen years, ridiculed and beaten up for it for eight of those years. You don't need to worry about me; I promise. Nobody has ever had to come to my aid. I have this. You don't need to make me your mission."

Ethan nods. "I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think I saw you as incapable. I'm just really protective of my friends. I like to think I can take all their pain away, as long as I get hurt, they don't have to." He looks down at me. "I'll try not to baby you so much."

"I don't want you getting hurt for me."

"He was gonna shoot you, Charlie."

"He was going to shoot you first."

"I can take care of myself too, you know." He chuckles.

"Your idea of taking care of yourself involves telling people who hate me that you're my friend and sticking up for me when it gets you in deeper and deeper shit." I laugh.

"I'd hate to have to hide you anyways. Maybe this is for the best." He strokes my cheek.

I blush and hide in his chest. "Whatever."

"What do you want to do today?" He asks.

"Make you happy."

"I'm pretty content here in bed with you."

"I see. What about food?"

"Browniessssss."

I shake my head. "The same exact type?"

"Yes." He sits up. "I'm coming with you."

"Great." I pull him up and to the kitchen. I wash my hands before getting everything out again and mixing everything, this time with an electric mixer before pouring the batter into the brownie pan and putting it in the oven. "You really like my brownies, huh?"

"Dude, I love them." Ethan hops onto the counter and lays down.

I stand over by him before sitting and moving his head into my lap and playing with his hair. "I'm glad."

He sighs happily. "I can't wait to try more of your food sometime."

"What's your favorite meal?"

"Spicy chicken wings." He laughs.

"How spicy?" I hand him my cookbook open to the poultry section. "I could make sides to go along with it, like homemade macaroni and cheese and cream corn or some other vegetable."

He moans. "That sounds delicious."

I laugh. "How spicy, Cowboy?"

"Hot."

"Will do. I'll make them when I actually have chicken wings in the fridge. I don't have much meat in the fridge right now, just ground beef for burgers or spaghetti or something." I hum, continuing to play with his hair.

"Sounds good." He smiles and turns, accidentally nuzzling my crotch. "Sorry."

"It's fine. My dick likes affection too." I hold back a laugh.

"Yeah?" He pushes against it.

"Yeah. Just try not to get him too excited." I burst out laughing.

He chuckles and leans up to give me a quick kiss. "That's too bad."

"It really is, but alas, the brownies must come first."

"Yes!" Ethan claps.

"Cute." I poke his nose. "You're almost younger than me."

"I am four years older than you, young man." He points.

"Oh, whatever. You act my age, so it's even." I smirk.

"You seem to like older guys."

"Fuck, I do," I moan.

Ethan's eyes darken. "Like someone with experience, someone who knows just how to pin you down and fuck you right." He leans in and mouths at my crotch.

"Yes." I grip his hair, closing my eyes. "I want them to make me scream."

"Let me suck you off, or at least try." Ethan asks, turning over so he's on his stomach.

"You're in pain," I whisper.

"I don't care."

Against my better judgement, I nod. "Please."

Ethan unbuttons my pants and pulls my cock out of my briefs. He strokes me before slowly pressing his lips against the tip. "Never thought I'd be doing this." He chuckles and takes the tip into his mouth.

"Ethan, you gotta work up to it," I say, giggling. "You have to make me want to be inside you."

He pops off and climbs into my lap, bringing his lips to mine while his hands wander. "You should always want me inside you."

"I do always want you inside of me." I move my mouth to his neck. "But we're trying for the opposite of that, now aren't we?"

"I want to make you feel good." He breathes. "I want to make you come."

"You think you've got it in you, Superstar?" I ask, bringing the skin gently between my teeth and rubbing his growing erection.

He pushes me down against the counter and climbs over me, smirking. "You bet your fuckin' ass I do."

"Then do it; make me come."

He takes my cock in his hands and strokes me roughly while his tongue ravages my mouth. He brings his other hand to my nipple and pulls at it.

"Ethan—" I grip his hair, pulling at it and trying to push our bodies closer together.

He grinds against me and kisses my neck, enough to cause stimulus, but not enough to leave marks. "I bet you've been fucked on every surface in this house." He moves his lips down to my chest.

"Usually... fuck... at theirs... or hotels... never here..." I breathe out, holding him close.

"Really?" He smirks. "So I'm special."

"Mm. Special."

Ethan's lips are at my stomach now and he cups my balls in his hands, fondling them. "You're all nice and clean shaven. Gotta keep clean for whenever someone needs to get off, I assume? Slut."

I bite my lip. "You want this slut."

"Yeah, I do." Ethan gets to my crotch and licks his lips. He takes the head into his mouth again and licks around the tip.

I nod, urging him on. I'm kind of scared. I'm his first and this is my dick, in an inexperienced person's mouth, with teeth. But he seems so determined, so eager to please, so I just can't help but let him try.

Ethan moves his head down too fast and gags, pulling himself back up. He holds his hand up before I can say anything. "No, I got it, I got it."

"Slow, go slow." I play with his hair. "I like it slow, it's fine."

"Okay." He tries again, slowly this time. He runs his tongue around the shaft and strokes what he can't fit into his mouth with his hand. He starts to move, bobbing up and down around what he can fit and sucking his cheeks in.

I moan. "You're doing good, so good," I praise him, wanting him to feel proud.

He smiles and pushes down a little further, holding himself there until he's adjusted. He continues this pattern for a while until a little over half my cock is in his mouth. He gags, but stays focused.

I watch him with interest, moans falling out of my mouth every now and then. The gagging is kind of hot and actually feels nice, and I feel my orgasm coming, so I warn him, not wanting him to choke again. "I-I'm close."

Ethan pushes down further and sucks hard as he pulls off before stroking me to my finish with his hand.

"You're cute." I grin.

He breathes heavily and smirks, eyeing my cum. "Want me to clean you up, pretty boy?"

"Yes, please." I smirk.

He leans down and licks up my cum slowly, his eyes locked on mine.

I bite my lip, wanting to kiss him. "Should I get you off?"

He looks down at the bulge in his pants. "You don't have to. I did that for you, not for me."

"I... Are you sure?" I bring my eyebrows together, confused. No one ever just gets me off.

"Yeah." He smiles and pats my thigh. "The brownies are about to be ready anyways." He kisses me and pulls me up into a sitting position.

I stare at his dick and then him and puff out my cheeks.

"What? I don't mind." The oven beeps and he goes to pull the brownies out.

I watch him as he does his work and I pull my legs into my chest and chew on my thumb.

He cuts the brownies like he'd done last time and finds the purple plate to put them on. Once he's finished, he waves one in front of my face. "Why do you look so down, Charlie?"

"I'm just confused, pondering." I continue to chew on my thumb.

He puts the brownies down and puts one arm on either side of me. "What is it? Talk to me."

I blush. "Well, I'm just not used to having people getting me off and not wanting it or expecting things in return. It's a new concept and it's confusing. It's just, that's what I am to people, their means of getting off. You're already different from the others, so I should get used to it, but I don't know..."

"I'm your friend." Ethan tells me. "Friends do each other favors without expecting anything in return, right? I'm just applying our friendship to our sex life." He looks me in the eye. "You're more to me than just a sex toy."

"You're more to me too."

Ethan's eyes widen slightly and he smiles. "I'll help you get used to it, used to being wanted as a person."

"As a person..."

"Yes." He cradles my neck. "As a person."

I grab a brownie and place it in my mouth and wrap my arms around his waist.

He wraps his arms around me and holds me, eating a brownie of his own. "You deserve better than you get." He squeezes me. "You deserve better."